Need help !!! Quick !!!

[alexiosrediapered]

Hey - long story short I live with my mom. She’s been noticing the diapers recently more and more, and even though I try everything to make sure they’re out of her way and what not, disposing of them properly cleaning up etc, she has a huge problem with it even though she’s the same one who bought me rash cream.

My problem? I ordered 50 bucks worth of diapers (a pack of tena’s and two packs of 9 count goodnites) and they get here tomorrow. What do I do?

 

[LaLoneDigi]

Where is she noticing diapers? I keep mine packed away in my closet and in my dresser. I tie off garbage bags and toss them directing into the bin outside. No one ever sees them.

 

[BabyCorry]

Respect that you're living in her house, and live under her rules. If she doesn't approve of you using diapers, your options are stop using them or move out to gain the independence you want. You're not going to make her like or accept that you wear diapers, and it's disrespectful to try or expect her to.

 

[KarmaBaby3]

Respect that you're living in her house, and live under her rules. If she doesn't approve of you using diapers, your options are stop using them or move out to gain the independence you want. You're not going to make her like or accept that you wear diapers, and it's disrespectful to try or expect her to.

She is under her house? I live with my mom and we both are on the title and mortgage - it’s BOTH our houses and thus have a say in what goes on. I couldn’t afford my own place on disability when my medical stuff popped up so we both sold and bought house together - it’s too expensive now of days to own a house if you are single in many areas

 

[Cottontail]

My problem? I ordered 50 bucks worth of diapers (a pack of tena’s and two packs of 9 count goodnites) and they get here tomorrow. What do I do?

Will you not be around to accept the package? Going forward, you might want to investigate Amazon Locker or other ways of receiving packages discreetly. I suppose it goes without saying, but having your supplies shipped to the doorstep of somebody who disapproves is risky.

She’s been noticing the diapers recently more and more, and even though I try everything to make sure they’re out of her way and what not, disposing of them properly cleaning up etc, she has a huge problem with it even though she’s the same one who bought me rash cream.

What has she said? Without knowing more (e.g. about any ultimatums she's given you), I can only think to suggest limiting your use to times when you can be truly certain that she won't notice, and disposing of all evidence thoroughly such that she'd have to go digging to find it. Glancing back at your other recent posts, I see that you're attempting to go 24/7? Around a disapproving parent, that seems like a bad idea. Try to look at appeasing her as the price of living there, and if that price is too great, let it motivate you to look for other living arrangements.

 

[KarmaBaby3]

A conservation about boundaries and how you can coexist in same house. Are you an adult? If an adult you should have a certain amount of privacy and mom needs to learn she isn’t in control anymore.

One of her boundaries is to not wear around her and you may need to honour that. But some talking about when you are allowed to wear, why you want to wear/how it helps may help? one boundary you may do is she is not allowed to ask about your mail or enter your room without permission - my mom does that, she stays around from my room so I have my diapers in my closet and not super covered up but it’s not in her face.

But that book “you are not broken” is amazing! It has a chapter at end about parents who have kids that love diapers that may help, especially if you are still 18-20.

 

[Fishy]

PO Box may help, also any soiled diapers go into specifically designed diaper bags / diaper pail liners. They are made from HDPE High Density Polyethylene which is far less porous than other plastic bags such as those used at grocery stores or standard trash bags which will allow diaper odors to escape!

 

[alexiosrediapered]

Where is she noticing diapers? I keep mine packed away in my closet and in my dresser. I tie off garbage bags and toss them directing into the bin outside. No one ever sees them.

She’s noticing cause she pokes around and looks at my stuff. I’m a fully grown adult. I slip out to go and throw them.

 

[alexiosrediapered]

A conservation about boundaries and how you can coexist in same house. Are you an adult? If an adult you should have a certain amount of privacy and mom needs to learn she isn’t in control anymore.

One of her boundaries is to not wear around her and you may need to honour that. But some talking about when you are allowed to wear, why you want to wear/how it helps may help? one boundary you may do is she is not allowed to ask about your mail or enter your room without permission - my mom does that, she stays around from my room so I have my diapers in my closet and not super covered up but it’s not in her face.

But that book “you are not broken” is amazing! It has a chapter at end about parents who have kids that love diapers that may help, especially if you are still 18-20.

Yes, I am an adult. I don’t wear around her and even if I do, it’s concealed. I do everything so it won’t really bug her out. She really just pokes around in my room and that’s about it

 

[alexiosrediapered]

PO Box may help, also any soiled diapers go into specifically designed diaper bags / diaper pail liners. They are made from HDPE High Density Polyethylene which is far less porous than other plastic bags such as those used at grocery stores or standard trash bags which will allow diaper odors to escape!

Oooo thank you for that information! I have just been using grocery bags! (but of course I throw them quickly)

 

[alexiosrediapered]

Respect that you're living in her house, and live under her rules. If she doesn't approve of you using diapers, your options are stop using them or move out to gain the independence you want. You're not going to make her like or accept that you wear diapers, and it's disrespectful to try or expect her to.

My aim isn’t to make her like or accept. I’m a grown adult and I used them at my dad’s without him poking around and prodding me about it. I haven’t really shared a lot of my life story on here, but I lived with my dad for a bit and he really didn’t mind nor poke around, even when he decided to poke around and discovered my stash (but he didn’t say anything of course). What confuses me is the fact she’s gone so far to acknowledge them and even get me diaper rash cream. I understand there is sometimes I’m going to have to ditch diapers entirely, but when I’m concealing everything in my own room, grabbing packages before her, ordering off of my accounts with my own money, it’s kind of hard. But I really understand where you’re coming from, don’t get me wrong.

 

[alexiosrediapered]

Will you not be around to accept the package? Going forward, you might want to investigate Amazon Locker or other ways of receiving packages discreetly. I suppose it goes without saying, but having your supplies shipped to the doorstep of somebody who disapproves is risky.


What has she said? Without knowing more (e.g. about any ultimatums she's given you), I can only think to suggest limiting your use to times when you can be truly certain that she won't notice, and disposing of all evidence thoroughly such that she'd have to go digging to find it. Glancing back at your other recent posts, I see that you're attempting to go 24/7? Around a disapproving parent, that seems like a bad idea. Try to look at appeasing her as the price of living there, and if that price is too great, let it motivate you to look for other living arrangements.

I’ll be around to accept the package, since I order off of Walmart due to having Walmart+. She really hasn’t given any ultimatums, but she knows I don’t refuse to set down boundaries. I have honestly abandoned the idea of going 24/7- i’m going to end up moving in with my partner and his mom in the Summer, so even then my diaper wearing will be out of my moms hair soon. It’s kind of a iffy situation because she understands I’m an adult, and can’t really do nothing especially since she knows I have ways to get out (she always wants me to keep me in the house. i don’t want to be here) and that’s why she really doesn’t fight me much because she knows I’m capable of finally not letting her take control of me.

 

[LaLoneDigi]

She’s noticing cause she pokes around and looks at my stuff. I’m a fully grown adult. I slip out to go and throw them.

That's interesting. So she goes out of her way to find it even though she doesn't like it, but she also hasn't outright banned them? She sounds confused. She might need more time to process, or help to process.

Invasion of privacy is inappropriate, but it's always muddle when parents are involved. A landlord has laws to follow, but parents are always gonna parent. A bit complicated...

 

[alexiosrediapered]

That's interesting. So she goes out of her way to find it even though she doesn't like it, but she also hasn't outright banned them? She sounds confused. She might need more time to process, or help to process.

Invasion of privacy is inappropriate, but it's always muddle when parents are involved. A landlord has laws to follow, but parents are always gonna parent. A bit complicated...

Yeah - it’s unfortunately nothing new with her . She really pokes around in my stuff a lot, and has never really known boundaries. I hope to get to a point where she just brushes these things off, but alas I really haven’t had a good relationship with her either.

 

[princessarya]

Does she open your mail? Is there a way to ask her to not do that? Or tell her you have something private arriving tomorrow and if she could please just put it in your room when it arrives and you'll put it away when you get home

 

[sbmccue]

I try very hard to understand the challenge of being autistic. However:

You're obviously of legal age, and you apparently have an income from somewhere. Yet you live with your mother, and are en route to living with your partner's mother.

Perhaps the solution is for you and your partner to bite the bullet and find a place of your own, so you can do whatever you want whenever you want without worrying about what anyone else will think.

If neither of you is in the position to do that, then you have to knuckle under to the restrictions imposed by your live-in landlord ... whether that's your mother or your partner's mother.

My point is that you may be going from the frying pan to the fire, and seem oblivious. Your partner's mother may be as unaccepting as your own mother apparently is ... or worse.

 

[mistykitty]

She’s noticing cause she pokes around and looks at my stuff. I’m a fully grown adult. I slip out to go and throw them.

I get that she's you mom and all but like @LaLoneDigi mentioned that's a serious invasion of your privacy even on a parental level. It also seems like she might not like letting you make your own decisions since she tries to keep you from leaving. Under some circumstances I'd say try to negotiate but I don't know that would be successful in this case because she seems super controlling. Also it appears you're trying to be respectful of her spaces with the way you are handling them. With her actually dedicating time to poke around and find stuff it's not only an invasion of privacy but she has no right to complain in my eyes parent or not because she is actively dedicating time to that task, it's not like you are just leaving stuff around and she's finding it.

 

[alexiosrediapered]

I get that she's you mom and all but like @LaLoneDigi mentioned that's a serious invasion of your privacy even on a parental level. It also seems like she might not like letting you make your own decisions since she tries to keep you from leaving. Under some circumstances I'd say try to negotiate but I don't know that would be successful in this case because she seems super controlling. Also it appears you're trying to be respectful of her spaces with the way you are handling them. With her actually dedicating time to poke around and find stuff it's not only an invasion of privacy but she has no right to complain in my eyes parent or not because she is actively dedicating time to that task, it's not like you are just leaving stuff around and she's finding it.

Yeah, you are totally right about all of this. If it helps for context, I up and left to my dads for six months to give her a wake up call. This was my only real taste of freedom, but then I really don’t have a good dad either, so I unfortunately had to come back. I also had just gotten back together with my girlfriend so that was a huge part of my choice of coming back to my moms as well. I’m super concealing and respectful when it comes to this and I genuinely can be as flexible as possible as long as I get to continue to wear them.

 

[alexiosrediapered]

Does she open your mail? Is there a way to ask her to not do that? Or tell her you have something private arriving tomorrow and if she could please just put it in your room when it arrives and you'll put it away when you get home

Oh, i’ll be able to grab it. It’s just that she really used to display these behaviors of opening my mail and what not and it’s just best not to tell. Only problem is that my second package is coming late in the afternoon and that’s when my mom is usually up.

 

[alexiosrediapered]

I try very hard to understand the challenge of being autistic. However:

You're obviously of legal age, and you apparently have an income from somewhere. Yet you live with your mother, and are en route to living with your partner's mother.

Perhaps the solution is for you and your partner to bite the bullet and find a place of your own, so you can do whatever you want whenever you want without worrying about what anyone else will think.

If neither of you is in the position to do that, then you have to knuckle under to the restrictions imposed by your live-in landlord ... whether that's your mother or your partner's mother.

My point is that you may be going from the frying pan to the fire, and seem oblivious. Your partner's mother may be as unaccepting as your own mother apparently is ... or worse.

Oh yeah - it’s been kind of complicated last year with living situations. I explained it more in the plethora of replies I have made to this if you would like to know more (probably not it’s so confusing managing everything right now since i’m on mobile), me and mt girlfriend main and end goal is to move out fully and have a apartment of our own. I understand I’m probably not going to be able to wear often or even at all when I’m with my girlfriend and their mother, and i really don’t plan to even bring it up or tell. We are just in the hectic process of getting ready for our lives and just needed to start somewhere, but this time the two of us and not just me up and leaving.