My Mom threw some of my diapers away

[Drynites96]

i'm a 24 year old Bedwetter and I'm still living at Home because of my disability. I have Bedwetting accidents around 1-2 times a week. i bought myself some Store Brand diapers last week to try and I kept them in my Car because i didn't have space for them in my dresser until today. So i wanted to take them to my room today only to find out that they're gone. So I guess my Mother must've taken them out and threw them away. I'm so angry but i'm a bit embarassed to talk to her about it...

How could i do this?

 

[Paddy2020]

i'm a 24 year old Bedwetter and I'm still living at Home because of my disability. I have Bedwetting accidents around 1-2 a week. i bought myself some Store Brand diapers last week to try and I kept them in my Car because i didn't have space for them in my dresser until today. So i wanted to take them to my room today only to find out that they're gone. So I guess my Mother must've taken them out and threw them away. I'm so angry but i'm a bit embarassed to talk to her about it...

How could i do this?

I would still talk to her about it. You're an adult. She needs to respect your privacy and your personal space.

 

[Drynites96]

I would still talk to her about it. You're an adult. She needs to respect your privacy and your personal space.

Ok but i'm really embarassed and nervous. And I find it hard to talk about this... she respects my privacy and rarely does stuff like this...

 

[ARBBB2]

I agree, talk to her , very hard at first, but the more u share the easier and safer it gets and takes that load off of your shoulders!

 

[jamiejamie]

She should know why you need them due to bedwetting. It makes your mornings better when waking up dry.

 

[Drynites96]

I agree, talk to her , very hard at first, but the more u share the easier and safer it gets and takes that load off of your shoulders!

She knows that i sometimes have accidents and she knows that i'm a DL

 

[Drynites96]

She should know why you need them due to bedwetting. It makes your mornings better when waking up dry.

She knows this...

 

[LainIsLain]

I relate somewhat to this. I lived at home until I was 26. Privacy was a concern when my mother went through my drawers and threw out some stuff. Is was so embarrassing it gives me pause even after all these years. We never talked about it! This was just one moment in a long list of unresolved events in my life. I wish she had been strong enough to approach the subject matter. And I wish I would have trusted her enough to talk about it.

I can only hope that your parents are understanding. Not talking about has had life long consequences for me.

 

[LainIsLain]

She knows that i sometimes have accidents and she knows that i'm a DL

Oh.. I would say the hard part is over then. But you should be able to talk about how you feel. I would approach the subject of invasion of privacy. Although because it's a family member it might be tricky depending on the relationship.

 

[Cottontail]

I feel like something is being left out of the story. How does she not already know you’re wetting the bed? Is it something that started recently? Have you seen a doctor? (If not, do.)

Wetting the bed is a pretty obvious and reasonable justification for buying diapers. Might be a tad embarrassing to bring up, yes, but if it’s legit, I expect she’ll be resigned to the diapers pretty quickly. If you’ve kept the bedwetting thing from her, she might reasonably insist that you see a doctor, so be prepared to go along with that. She’d be right to be a little concerned.

EDIT: Sorry, I see you answered the “does she know?” question while I was replying.

 

[Luvshugs]

Maybe you might try writing down your feelings, and concern, then put them in an envelop addressed for your mother. Leave it where she will not miss it. Hopefully she would read it, understand your concerns, refrain for what she was doing in the future, and leave it at that.

 

[Drynites96]

I don't need to do this anymore.... I fucked up

 

[tsen]

What's wrong?

 

[Drynites96]

*sigh* well... i dunno what to do anymore. Thinking about this just makes me feel very depressed. My Girlfriend is trying to help me too and even suggested that i could come to her but... I'm thinking a lot about Moving out in the last few weeks (not just because of this but also because i think i should try to stand on my own feet) but that could be a bit difficult for me

What's wrong?

 

[bambinod]

I'd just come out and say it straight, "I sometimes wet the bed and need diapers at night, why did you go into my room and throw them away?"

There are just too many unknowns, you NEED to hear her answer to this question before deciding what to do next
- she may not realize you legitimately need them and thinks she's "doing you a favor"
- she may be in the "my house, my rules" mindset and simply has decided you're "not allowed" to have diapers around her
- she may just be trying to "encourage" you to move out and get more independent (either for her good, or for yours, hard to tell)
or something else. it's easy to see that how you respond really depends on what her reason is. So be careful of what advice you take until you've got more information on her reasons.

also, some parents don't recognize any "personal boundaries" or "have any sense of privacy" with their children when living at home, regardless of their child's age. you need to figure out where she stands on this too.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

(1) You are a de-facto tenant, even if related to the landlord (which your parent is), even with no contract. You have rights and she is violating the law by going into your room with neither permission nor notice...plus, she committed larceny by taking your belongings and throwing them out, thus depriving you of things you need and pay money for. That is a citable, even arrestable offense;
(2) Even if that wasn't law, it's still neither right nor fair. The "They who have the gold make the rules" clause is clear abuse. You do not deserve this abuse, and that is exactly what your parent is doling out with their passive-aggressive disgust.

You deserve far better than this and I hope you find a better place to go. People of any relation or capacity that do that tripe need to face reality of law.

 

[KittyMerriweather]

I know of many parents who have the ... I will be damn if I knock on a door before entering, in a house I pay for. I think your Mom is that type of parent, which to me is the real issue here.

 

[DLForever99999]

*sigh* well... i dunno what to do anymore. Thinking about this just makes me feel very depressed. My Girlfriend is trying to help me too and even suggested that i could come to her but... I'm thinking a lot about Moving out in the last few weeks (not just because of this but also because i think i should try to stand on my own feet) but that could be a bit difficult for me

I don't know what your disability is other than bed wetting. If you are capable otherwise of living on your own then you're old enough assuming you're financially capable. Be sure to properly plan though. I was out of the house as soon as I graduated college and then married, kids, house, all by the age of 25. I was a bit young for all of that, but it worked out. 33 years later, I have a 27 year old partially disabled step son living at home (epilepsy, but infrequent seizures now thankfully). He is mostly capable of living on his own; however, he doesn't plan beyond declaring that he's leaving. It's also astounding that despite having hard working parents and step parents setting examples, he has no idea how basic things work (like signing a mortgage or rental agreement, paying for utilities, taxes) nor how much these things actually cost. He thinks nothing of ordering food to be delivered at least once, sometimes twice a day! I'm like I'm considered 'rich' and I can't afford to live like you!. Ok, now I'm ranting. Hopefully you're not that kid. Good luck and remember nothing is all that bad in the end even though it might seem so in the moment. No rash decisions please.

 

[KittyMerriweather]

I don't know what your disability is other than bed wetting. If you are capable otherwise of living on your own then you're old enough assuming you're financially capable. Be sure to properly plan though. I was out of the house as soon as I graduated college and then married, kids, house, all by the age of 25. I was a bit young for all of that, but it worked out. 33 years later, I have a 27 year old partially disabled step son living at home (epilepsy, but infrequent seizures now thankfully). He is mostly capable of living on his own; however, he doesn't plan beyond declaring that he's leaving. It's also astounding that despite having hard working parents and step parents setting examples, he has no idea how basic things work (like signing a mortgage or rental agreement, paying for utilities, taxes) nor how much these things actually cost. He thinks nothing of ordering food to be delivered at least once, sometimes twice a day! I'm like I'm considered 'rich' and I can't afford to live like you!. Ok, now I'm ranting. Hopefully you're not that kid. Good luck and remember nothing is all that bad in the end even though it might seem so in the moment. No rash decisions please.

But why should he? Life is grand when others pay the way.

 

[iPad]

(1) You are a de-facto tenant, even if related to the landlord (which your parent is), even with no contract. You have rights and she is violating the law by going into your room with neither permission nor notice...plus, she committed larceny by taking your belongings and throwing them out, thus depriving you of things you need and pay money for. That is a citable, even arrestable offense;
(2) Even if that wasn't law, it's still neither right nor fair. The "They who have the gold make the rules" clause is clear abuse. You do not deserve this abuse, and that is exactly what your parent is doling out with their passive-aggressive disgust.

You deserve far better than this and I hope you find a better place to go. People of any relation or capacity that do that tripe need to face reality of law.

Sorry, but I think this is terrible advice.

It is far better to address why, or even if, she took the actions that you think she did, rather than getting combative about it. I would imagine threatening legal action or reporting to the police or social work authorities would end very badly. At the very least, that would have to be a last option, and not a good place to start in resolving your current situation.

As for the de-facto tenant thing, that is also a dodgy route. The homeowner also has rights, and without a contract, I would certainly not be going down the 'you violated my rights as a tenant!' route, but especially when the "landlord" is your own parent.

I would suggest asking if and then why the diapers were disposed of, and then address the issue about how that made you feel. But, it is also important to find out how the other party feels too. Maybe they don't want to confront the fact that you use adult diapers, maybe they just don't anyone else to know. But until you actually know what happened and why, it won't help to consider what action you might take in retaliation.

A full and frank discussion about your needs and your feelings, as well as theirs, should hopefully allow you to come to an understanding that helps you both in the long run, although it may well be difficult - but it is likely a far better first option than assuming that it was done out of spite, and certainly better than resorting to threats, which would probably be the quickest way of finding yourself being asked to leave and/or permanently causing a rift with your parent.