Mixed Feelings of Meeting Other Adult Babies

[babyscotty37]

The only time I have ever met another adult baby was back in about 1996. At the time I was a member of DPF and found out about a guy about four hours from me.
I contacted him and he had a nursery with a large crib, lots of diapers, plastic pants, and other baby things. His wife would be his mommy.
When I arrived in the late afternoon we visited a little bit and then he wanted to go to Baby's R Us to look around with our cloth diapers and plastic pants under sweatpants. I was allowed to spend the night in the baby crib and thoroughly enjoyed that. His wife was only his mommy and would not take on the role with visitors.

But for some reason when I got home it led to a major purge cycle for me. It is so easy to imagine myself as a real baby, but I struggle with a lot of emotions seeing another adult in baby clothing. it somehow feels very wrong to me, yet that is exactly who I am!!

I'm considering more and more trying to meet up with other adult babies in southern Kansas, yet I have this fear, this turn-off inside me to do this.
I'm wondering if anyone else struggles or can relate to what I'm sharing.

 

[googlyeyes467]

The only time I have ever met another adult baby was back in about 1996. At the time I was a member of DPF and found out about a guy about four hours from me.
I contacted him and he had a nursery with a large crib, lots of diapers, plastic pants, and other baby things. His wife would be his mommy.
When I arrived in the late afternoon we visited a little bit and then he wanted to go to Baby's R Us to look around with our cloth diapers and plastic pants under sweatpants. I was allowed to spend the night in the baby crib and thoroughly enjoyed that. His wife was only his mommy and would not take on the role with visitors.

But for some reason when I got home it led to a major purge cycle for me. It is so easy to imagine myself as a real baby, but I struggle with a lot of emotions seeing another adult in baby clothing. it somehow feels very wrong to me, yet that is exactly who I am!!

I'm considering more and more trying to meet up with other adult babies in southern Kansas, yet I have this fear, this turn-off inside me to do this.
I'm wondering if anyone else struggles or can relate to what I'm sharing.

I actually totally understand where you are coming from. For me, even seeing myself in a diaper and onesie for the first time led to weird feelings of rejection. It feels more personal when I'm not looking at myself and seeing my adult body in a diaper. The first time it felt like body dysmorphia where I just didn't look like how I wanted to.

That being said ive actually grown to love how I look and how others look in adult baby gear. It just took more exposure and acceptance.

You don't have to meet other ABs if you don't want to though. What do you think it is that makes it feel "wrong" for you?

 

[babyscotty37]

I think the major part is how my now ex wife reacted when I finally was able to tell her what this was for me after 16 years of marriage.
Until then, I thought I was the only person in the world like this. This was late 1993.
Although I still need protection for light incontinence at the time, my baby me came into the marriage. I was so ignorant back then.
My faith has always been important part of my life and involved in church. When I left her a letter one morning before going to work to try and best explain what this was after having a little understanding myself, her response was to call our pastor, and all the wives of our friends. In short order the entire church knew my secret. My pastor was great in trying to help me. I also had just gone through some major recovery having my short leg lengthened one inch. So all this led to major depression.
I went inpatient the first time for two weeks, and the staff’s ignorance as well led them to label this as strictly a sexual addiction! So shame on top of shame was my initial experience.
So I think I’m still affected by all that to a degree. A psychiatrist who got to know me pretty well, after numerous hospital stays, told me once what I experienced the first time was medical malpractice.
Then a few years later I was in another hospital in a different city.
That first late afternoon the psychiatrist came to visit and ask what my issues were. When I mentioned being an adult baby he laughed and said there was no such thing!!!
The next morning he apologized, after doing some research, and said he’d never heard of anyone like me.
It’s been a tough road, but I’m thankful I’ve survived and living a good life.

 

[dogboy]

It's amazing how many in the psychiatric community have never heard about us. I don't think my psychologist knew much when I told him. He seems more accepting now.

 

[babyscotty37]

Yes, and how insensitive and rude some can be about something they don’t understand.
For many, although not autistic, found early on that wearing diapers, pretending to be a baby, brought a lot of comfort in difficult times.

 

[Diapertoddler]

I can relate to this, when I have a diaper on and onesie sometimes i'll look in the mirror and not like what I see. Feel small and still like a kid on the inside but the person in the mirror doesnt match. I often wonder if one day I'll drop Abdl lifestyle out of my life due to my age flying by it seems.

 

[babyscotty37]

I’ve heard how some therapists try aversion therapy to make you disgusted at your behavior. I think this “technique “ has been used for many things.
But after my own struggles to accept this, especially since I believe it helped me survive my difficult childhood, that the efforts of so called experts to get me to stop did more harm than good.

 

[Diapertoddler]

I certainly dont find this life style harmful. When i have emotions bothering me of work load, bills, simply doing my taxes or down in the dumps due to weather I'll strip down and put on a diaper and usually wet a few times and its that break from reality that lets my mind rest for a little bit. Then i'll change back into my adult clothes and re enter the boxing ring of life lol also I'm not involving or forceing myself on others or harming my self. A wet diaper hasnt hurt me lol

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Seems normal. I hate mirrors.

No matter how cute and little we feel on the inside, we are just no match for the real thing on the outside. Adults are old and gross and greasy and hairy in general even without the severe contrast of wearing baby stuff.

 

[Cribbin]

Everyone has fantasies of how something should be, or turn out in their heads. After pursuing and achieving said fantasy, many are disappointed with the reality of it all. Hence the rejection IMO.

 

[TeeMousy]

I can relate to that. When I see images or videos of adult men acting like babies it just feels wrong. But yet I do some of those same things. I am glad others are willing to talk about it and share their experiences so that I don't feel all alone. I think there is a line somewhere though, that should not be crossed. Finding that balance can be tricky. I want to accept myself and have others accept me for who I am, but without crossing that line. The term AB is contradictory in itself.
I want to hold on tho the things that bring me comfort, but I don't want myself or others to coddle me to where I am not maturing also. So once again it's about finding that right balance.

 

[TabaCrate]

The only time I have ever met another adult baby was back in about 1996. At the time I was a member of DPF and found out about a guy about four hours from me.
I contacted him and he had a nursery with a large crib, lots of diapers, plastic pants, and other baby things. His wife would be his mommy.
When I arrived in the late afternoon we visited a little bit and then he wanted to go to Baby's R Us to look around with our cloth diapers and plastic pants under sweatpants. I was allowed to spend the night in the baby crib and thoroughly enjoyed that. His wife was only his mommy and would not take on the role with visitors.

But for some reason when I got home it led to a major purge cycle for me. It is so easy to imagine myself as a real baby, but I struggle with a lot of emotions seeing another adult in baby clothing. it somehow feels very wrong to me, yet that is exactly who I am!!

I'm considering more and more trying to meet up with other adult babies in southern Kansas, yet I have this fear, this turn-off inside me to do this.
I'm wondering if anyone else struggles or can relate to what I'm sharing.

It took me decades to meet my first ABDL guy. No way to show my face to anybody, this was totally secret.
Then, one day, after one guy gave me his phone number years ago, I finally accepted to see him in another city!
I even parked my car at a 10 minuets walk to ensure he wouldn't see my plates.

We had a meal and the guy was just the right one. We talked about our need of diapers and it was the first time I could openly discuss about this wihout any fear. Even with my psychologist it was more complicated.

And quickly, I went to two other dinners with a few people.

And a year after, I finally went to an ABDL week-end (4 days). When I arrived at the place, I wanted to drive back home immediately. But I decided to give a try. I paid for it and why not spend a few hours. I could always leave.

It was an incredible week-end! I felt totally free to be myself for the first time of my life. I was suprised to see how all these people were relax and just themselves. It was my Freedom week-end. And it was a brilliant one with outstanding activities. I couldn't believe that people were dancing in just a diaper and onesie! That adults were excited to win a pack of diapers in a loto. That someone asked me if i need a change!

This week-end has been a turning point in my life. There was the before and the after. Since then I accepted who I am and never ever purged.
I told my wife where I was going (she knows but don't want to see anything, she tolerates) and when I came back, she was initially cold like an ice cube but when she saw how happy I was and what it did to me, she understood how much benefits it has to let me go at such events!

Ohh, now I have very close ABDL friends, I call them my ABDL family. I meet them 2-3 times a year and it's like a medicine, it heals all the bad moods.

Different experience, different results.

 

[Sealander]

Seems normal. I hate mirrors.

No matter how cute and little we feel on the inside, we are just no match for the real thing on the outside. Adults are old and gross and greasy and hairy in general even without the severe contrast of wearing baby stuff.

Yeah, the word that has often come to my mind is 'grotesque'. I try to suspend disbelief when I'm acting little, and mirrors and others often don't help with that.

 

[PinkyJujubean]

To be perfectly honest I think that we do look ridiculous when we do this. Myself definitely included. I look a bit goofy in baby clothes and a pacifier and that's okay I think seeing another baby in person would have the potential to make one want to purge because they'd think "holy hell! Is this what I look like?". Nothing wrong with what we do but the fact of the matter is that adults acting like babies looks kind of goofy and seeing it from the other side might make one reconsider

 

[PassiveRenegade]

I do understand this. Its a huge juxtaposition with this comunity and in myself. Yes I'm an abdl and I ware dipers n onsie n like my mistress to change me. Yet looking at picture of people dressed up or the idea of meeting other people who are like me. I get distressed thinking about it and find it really uncomfortable. I couldn't say why and it's certainly not aimed at any one. I've had good experiences in this comunity. Yet I can't help getting theses feelings.

 

[mistykitty]

I haven't met any adbls off site but similar to what has been mentioned above when I see myself in a mirror it's mixed feelings. Part of the feeling is happiness from feeling little but the other the disappointment of not actually physically matching my mental littleness if that makes sense. I've never purged any of my stuff before but there has been doubts caused by mirrors and it's like what am I doing why do I enjoy this. I actually got rid of some of the mirrors in my room because of this and it helped. That being said, I guess anything that triggers that reaction of surprise or that sense of is that what it's like has the potential to create that feeling of doubt and wrongness for us even though we know that we truly haven't done anything wrong. It just feels that way sometimes, that's why when I'm little I do my best to avoid anything that could potentially trigger that. I try to keep adult with adult and little with little.

 

[babyscotty37]

I'm glad many responded and shared similar feelings similar to mine about meeting other adult babies. I'm also wondering if I'd be more comfortable meeting just a few in a small setting as a "baby play date," or at a large gathering?
One person mentioned how freeing his first four-day gathering with other babies was. He also mentioned how someone even asked if he needed a diaper change. I'm not sure how I'd respond to that as well. Even though it's a very deep desire to have a mommy experience, if I allowed anyone to change me while I'm in my little space it would only be a female. I'm a heterosexual male, pretty conservative in my sexuality, and anyone other than a somewhat older lady would make me uncomfortable, I think.
Another aspect for me I have difficulty with is the sexual feelings around wearing diapers. Last December I paid for a Zoom session with a sexual psychologist who did two podcasts on adult babies to help me sort through these feelings. She helped me understand that even as a baby, there was still a sexual aspect to when my mommy changed my diaper and later used diaper punishment when I had an accident.
As I got to adolescence I felt a sense of betrayal by my body when the sexual feelings of wearing a diaper became very powerful. Although I act on those feelings, it's like I can't really get to my 18-month little self until relieve the sexual tension. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone else.
I'm 62 now and am not too sure I'll ever have a true mommy experience, paid or otherwise.

 

[Bigbabybret]

Yes i dont see that the ABDL thing would be in many text books and/or taught about much at all, and barely mentioned in passing to be honest.

The teaching and texts are focused on the psyc issues that cause harm in society as a whole, from things that cause self harm, harm to others and death being the top concerns.

I get the reasoning on that, as there is limited time to teach in the whole (dont get me starter on the issues in schooling/traing/academic endevors) X years in wich most the time is not spent in teacing anything in the field of study.

But, despite that...

Yes, there is some mention in the lit over the years, but being a rather mundane issue so to speak, and not often leading to direct causes of major issues, wether cause not reported, misunderstood, or ignored isnt the point.

But, really most from reading on here, seem to at worst to cause some isolation and depression, which i'd bet there is other areas at least contributing to the issues as well, yess there will be the exception an likely one on here if anywhere they would exist, so dont think i'm ignoring the exceptions.

So, being that there is not a huge issue with ABDL and causing them to harm others, and the self harm is usually limited to self isolation and depression likely maifested in other areas aoutside the ABDL realm, the industry has very few examples of:

ABDL = Major self harm or Harming others

So, what do they write a paper on...

ABDL the genre that causes little to no harm...not a real great read i'd say outside of the ABDL community.

There are other groups that dont come up in the psyc genre often as well, so ABDL is not alone by any means.

But, TBH this is a good thing, this means that for the most part the ABDL community is not too self destructive and/or helps it own out with the issues specifi the the genre.

So, that saud, i do see that this forum and others do help the community as a whole and go out of the way to include no exclude people from it. Also they are there to help the others with information to help with whatever the need may be.

I'd also say that this is also from a perspective of not really much an AB myself per se, and yet i see that the community is very helpfull and as a whole should be proud of this and keep it up.