"Littles" with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome

[BrattyPrincessSophie]

When it comes to getting a job it's really kinda hit or miss. Even though they're not supposed to many most businesses take disabilities into account when deciding whether or not to hire somebody. Some businesses will eagerly hire the disabled and disclosing your condition would actually help you get the job because if they hire you they would get benefits. Other businesses don't want to hire the disabled because they don't want to have to accommodate them so disclosing your condition would likely keep you from getting the job. I work on commission online, so it's not the most stable working situation. I've been trying to get a job with steady working hours and pay for several years and though I've had a couple interviews nobody has ever hired me so I'm reaching a point financially where I'm going to have to bite the bullet and get Disability.

Living in a so called "Right to Work" state doesn't help. I'll keep trying, but hopefully, I won't have to play this passing game much longer as hopefully find a way to make enough money to transition and live independently.

 

[Calico]

I don't understand how autistic people get denied disability and I got approved when my mom signed me up at 18. I know she sent in all my medical documents from when I was toddler to 6th grade and she had my uncle write to them about me because he saw me a lot as a child and she had given them all my former therapists information and their names and my current one and I know he sent them in some stuff about me when they contacted him. It took them 6 months to approve me and I was still in high school when that happened and I didn't get my first check from them until a couple months later after I had graduated.

I remember I didn't even want to go on disability but my mom telling me it was only temporary and it will help me get a start on my life as an adult, I am pretty sure she was only saying that to get me to agree with her and it worked.

 

[Deleted member 44276]

Can't say I necessarily want to pass, but rather I feel forced to out of necessity in order to earn the money to live independently and afford transition. I'm not sure if I should disclose my condition to potential employers, because disclosing or not disclosing seems to show noticeable impact on whether or not applications and interviews go anywhere. All I want is the money and ability to live independently and pay for my transition expenses. I'm stuck, I'm not sure if I should keep passing until I meet that goal, or just stop and hope I can get the help and support I need to get to that goal. I tried and failed at one time to get SSI, and I'm not confidant in my chances of getting it upon further appeals. I feel damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I can defenetly understand you 101 % the sad fact is is this

YES you need the job to get youre transition and to be the reel you .

BUT sadly on the other hand the price you may pay for NOT accepting youre diagnosis can be SEVERELY (for me the choice was very simple if i dident step of i would have ended up in hospital as i worked my self closely to my death and my entire body shut down (incl my mental health )

What i also want to add is DONT let youre diagnosis destroy youre life like i did .LISTEN to youre body as it tries to inform you it struggling (as i dident )

What i meant with accepting youre diagnose was NOT go out to all the world and most defently NOT youre possible employers . I meant that you have to try to find a job YOU think you can cope with and that dont kill you in the process..

BTW i stepped of 2001

Alas...
I permanently dropped-out of the workforce back in 2006.
But, I still have an up-to-date resume though.
I live "off the clock".
I have wished it were different, but with me, it was not to be.

Yeah i agree with you on that my friend

 

[BrattyPrincessSophie]

I can defenetly understand you 101 % the sad fact is is this

YES you need the job to get youre transition and to be the reel you .

BUT sadly on the other hand the price you may pay for NOT accepting youre diagnosis can be SEVERELY (for me the choice was very simple if i dident step of i would have ended up in hospital as i worked my self closely to my death and my entire body shut down (incl my mental health )

What i also want to add is DONT let youre diagnosis destroy youre life like i did .LISTEN to youre body as it tries to inform you it struggling (as i dident )

What i meant with accepting youre diagnose was NOT go out to all the world and most defently NOT youre possible employers . I meant that you have to try to find a job YOU think you can cope with and that dont kill you in the process..

BTW i stepped of 2001



Yeah i agree with you on that my friend

Makes sense, but I'm not sure how easy that will be in a right to work state where potential employers can reject you for any reason and current employers can fire you for any reason. I want to go into the IT field, that's what I went to school and got certified for, and I really don't want my credentials and experience to go to waste. I also want to find a decently local position which has also been more challenging than expected. If all I can get is completely unrelated and part time work, then what the hell did I get my degree and industry certification for? I tried work from home over the phone customer service type jobs, and if I don't completely crack under the pressure of interacting with irate customers or accidentally do something to make them irate, I try my hardest, but ultimately don't perform well enough for them to wanna keep me.

While my current part time boss likes me and my work she frequently gets on me about small talk and "good morning" type greetings. I'll be honest I could count the (pardon my french) fucks I give on 0 hands whether or not someone greets me when I enter a room, I don't make a big deal out of whether people or do it or not. Small talk is one of the areas people on spectrum struggle with and it just feels robotic, inhuman and fake to me. She may have a point for other jobs, but still, I prefer more meaningful conversations than simple, ritualistic, word vomit formalities. You can perceive me as not wanting to be there for not wanting to play that aspect of the passing game, but I prefer to let my actions speak for me. I try to just get through the day, do my work, and do it well, and do talk with coworkers if there's something deep, meaningful, or important to talk about. Those types of conversations when they occur should be seen as worth far more than any amount of routine greetings when entering a room. I have to keep it the best I can for now, because it's the best I can get until I can find something that's the ideal fit. My boss KNOWS I'm on the spectrum, but needs to understand that just because I don't want to engage in small talk and greet people when entering a room nor care if anyone does the same to me, doesn't mean I'm aloof and don't wanna be there. I just crave deeper, more meaningful communication, and prefer to send the message they want to hear through my ACTIONS.

I'm grateful for what I have but I can say if this greeting thing gets brought up again, I don't know how much more of this passing game I can take. The less people stress me about the things that slip through the cracks of the passing game I feel forced to play, the less likely I feel I will reach the burnout stage sooner than I think. I'm reaching the point where I'm just not that interested in even giving the smallest concessions of faking neuro-normality just because you can't understand what's going on in my head or what I'm going through. If you want to know, just ask, don't assume what I'm thinking just because I don't see the big deal of engaging in or being engaged with in ritual verbal formalities.

Anyway, venting rant aside, I just feel stuck and don't know what to do with my future if my planned career path doesn't pan out.

 

[caitianx]

At my age of 61, I am bound by my rigid routines.
Performing house chores.
Watching specific non-biased news programs.
My daily nap.
Reading my books.
Playing with my toys.
Watching documentaries, Science Fiction, Japanese Anime and Cartoons.
Corresponding with other Autistics.
Changes in my routines mess me up cognitively.
Sigh...
I am still mourning the loss of my latest pet guinea pig, "Ernestina".
My brother has promised to get me two new young guinea pig friends as companions.
I am patient.
It will happen.

 

[caitianx]

Makes sense, but I'm not sure how easy that will be in a right to work state where potential employers can reject you for any reason and current employers can fire you for any reason. I want to go into the IT field, that's what I went to school and got certified for, and I really don't want my credentials and experience to go to waste. I also want to find a decently local position which has also been more challenging than expected. If all I can get is completely unrelated and part time work, then what the hell did I get my degree and industry certification for? I tried work from home over the phone customer service type jobs, and if I don't completely crack under the pressure of interacting with irate customers or accidentally do something to make them irate, I try my hardest, but ultimately don't perform well enough for them to wanna keep me.

While my current part time boss likes me and my work she frequently gets on me about small talk and "good morning" type greetings. I'll be honest I could count the (pardon my french) fucks I give on 0 hands whether or not someone greets me when I enter a room, I don't make a big deal out of whether people or do it or not. Small talk is one of the areas people on spectrum struggle with and it just feels robotic, inhuman and fake to me. She may have a point for other jobs, but still, I prefer more meaningful conversations than simple, ritualistic, word vomit formalities. You can perceive me as not wanting to be there for not wanting to play that aspect of the passing game, but I prefer to let my actions speak for me. I try to just get through the day, do my work, and do it well, and do talk with coworkers if there's something deep, meaningful, or important to talk about. Those types of conversations when they occur should be seen as worth far more than any amount of routine greetings when entering a room. I have to keep it the best I can for now, because it's the best I can get until I can find something that's the ideal fit. My boss KNOWS I'm on the spectrum, but needs to understand that just because I don't want to engage in small talk and greet people when entering a room nor care if anyone does the same to me, doesn't mean I'm aloof and don't wanna be there. I just crave deeper, more meaningful communication, and prefer to send the message they want to hear through my ACTIONS.

I'm grateful for what I have but I can say if this greeting thing gets brought up again, I don't know how much more of this passing game I can take. The less people stress me about the things that slip through the cracks of the passing game I feel forced to play, the less likely I feel I will reach the burnout stage sooner than I think. I'm reaching the point where I'm just not that interested in even giving the smallest concessions of faking neuro-normality just because you can't understand what's going on in my head or what I'm going through. If you want to know, just ask, don't assume what I'm thinking just because I don't see the big deal of engaging in or being engaged with in ritual verbal formalities.

Anyway, venting rant aside, I just feel stuck and don't know what to do with my future if my planned career path doesn't pan out.

Yes.
Smalltalk is difficult for me too.
I can not engage in non-specific non-job-related conversation.
My mind processes it as irrelevant to being an Electronics Engineering Design/Development Hardware Technician.

 

[BirdCat]

Yes.
Smalltalk is difficult for me too.
I can not engage in non-specific non-job-related conversation.
My mind processes it as irrelevant to being an Electronics Engineering Design/Development Hardware Technician.

I find socializing in general difficult. I'll say "hello" and ask "how are you?" to people and then usually all that follows after they answer is awkward silence where I have no idea what to say. Or I'll say something without any sort of greeting or lead in and then awkward silence follows. If it's about my interests I can talk at people for hours, but it really is talking "at" them rather than "to" them since I'm the one doing all of the talking, with them asking a little question here or there if they say anything at all. On the other side when people are having conversions that I'm supposed to be a part of or talking to me about things I'm not really interested in I just kind of sit there silently and listen.

 

[caitianx]

I find socializing in general difficult. I'll say "hello" and ask "how are you?" to people and then usually all that follows after they answer is awkward silence where I have no idea what to say. Or I'll say something without any sort of greeting or lead in and then awkward silence follows. If it's about my interests I can talk at people for hours, but it really is talking "at" them rather than "to" them since I'm the one doing all of the talking, with them asking a little question here or there if they say anything at all. On the other side when people are having conversions that I'm supposed to be a part of or talking to me about things I'm not really interested in I just kind of sit there silently and listen.

I do the same.

 

[Deleted member 44276]

="SnowPrincessSophie, post: 1645407, member: 113"]
Makes sense, but I'm not sure how easy that will be in a right to work state where potential employers can reject you for any reason and current employers can fire you for any reason. I want to go into the IT field, that's what I went to school and got certified for, and I really don't want my credentials and experience to go to waste. I also want to find a decently local position which has also been more challenging than expected. If all I can get is completely unrelated and part time work, then what the hell did I get my degree and industry certification for? I tried work from home over the phone customer service type jobs, and if I don't completely crack under the pressure of interacting with irate customers or accidentally do something to make them irate, I try my hardest, but ultimately don't perform well enough for them to wanna keep me.

" I dident say its gonna be easy .And sadly THIS is ONE of the reason us with this or other etc.... Diagnosis usely end up in disability "

While my current part time boss likes me and my work she frequently gets on me about small talk and "good morning" type greetings. I'll be honest I could count the (pardon my french) fucks I give on 0 hands whether or not someone greets me when I enter a room, I don't make a big deal out of whether people or do it or not. Small talk is one of the areas people on spectrum struggle with and it just feels robotic, inhuman and fake to me. She may have a point for other jobs, but still, I prefer more meaningful conversations than simple, ritualistic, word vomit formalities. You can perceive me as not wanting to be there for not wanting to play that aspect of the passing game, but I prefer to let my actions speak for me. I try to just get through the day, do my work, and do it well, and do talk with coworkers if there's something deep, meaningful, or important to talk about. Those types of conversations when they occur should be seen as worth far more than any amount of routine greetings when entering a room. I have to keep it the best I can for now, because it's the best I can get until I can find something that's the ideal fit. My boss KNOWS I'm on the spectrum, but needs to understand that just because I don't want to engage in small talk and greet people when entering a room nor care if anyone does the same to me, doesn't mean I'm aloof and don't wanna be there. I just crave deeper, more meaningful communication, and prefer to send the message they want to hear through my ACTIONS.

I'm grateful for what I have but I can say if this greeting thing gets brought up again, I don't know how much more of this passing game I can take. The less people stress me about the things that slip through the cracks of the passing game I feel forced to play, the less likely I feel I will reach the burnout stage sooner than I think. I'm reaching the point where I'm just not that interested in even giving the smallest concessions of faking neuro-normality just because you can't understand what's going on in my head or what I'm going through. If you want to know, just ask, don't assume what I'm thinking just because I don't see the big deal of engaging in or being engaged with in ritual verbal formalities.

Anyway, venting rant aside, I just feel stuck and don't know what to do with my future if my planned career path doesn't pan out.

" Unfortunately social skills is HIGHLY sort after in the working world. As for the said small talk i can do it no problem BUT i STINK at it. However i try to learn

Venting is GOOD . As for the you feel stuck been there done that AM there. And the best advice i can give you is try to take ONE thing at the time so rather then feel you have to solve youre entire life right now take one step at a time. And last to me it sounds like you are sadly VERY close to that break down we discussed "

At my age of 61, I am bound by my rigid routines.
Performing house chores.
Watching specific non-biased news programs.
My daily nap.
Reading my books.
Playing with my toys.
Watching documentaries, Science Fiction, Japanese Anime and Cartoons.
Corresponding with other Autistics.
Changes in my routines mess me up cognitively.
Sigh...
I am still mourning the loss of my latest pet guinea pig, "Ernestina".
My brother has promised to get me two new young guinea pig friends as companions.
I am patient.
It will happen.

Yeah id say the same every day is pretty mush built on the same schedule and like you IF things change to mush im getting confused /shutdown etc...

You have a GOOD brother and it WILL happen my friend of this i have NO doubt (and its also good that you get two as Guinea pigs are highly social animals )

I'm not necessarily a little, but I was diagnosed at 9 or 10.

In my book youre still welkome to the group so WARM welkome to the group

 

[KimbaFoxNatsume]

Unfortunately, we're forced to walk a very fine line in a world that doesn't really understand us or is designed for us.

Yesterday I was at therapy, telling her about my disability denial and that I've appealed and am meeting a lawyer. She told me she'd heard of it taking 18 months to get to the hearing stage, and referred to it as "time wasted." Rather, I look at it as 18 more months my dad can't bitch at me to get a job.

She mentioned trying vocational rehabilitation again, which I said at this point is putting the cart before the horse and that I still want to focus on disability. Besides, like others here can testify, I found it of little use last time, and didn't enjoy being treated like I was retarded.

I think most of us want to function as normally as possible in society, and for those of us who are mid- to higher-level functioning, we can typically manage our day-to-day lives fairly well. I don't need to be supervised in public, or taught hygiene or cooking or whatever that's typically offered in special programs. And that's what sucks about it, having a perfectly fine intellect, but a way of doing things that isn't typically accepted by society.

And that's pretty much why we have little luck finding good supports or programs. You can only teach us to be "normal" so much, and we're typically happiest doing what we know works for us. I think a lot of us could excel with work if we were simply put in an environment that understands and accepts our needs and limitations, but until these programs step up their game, start educating the public on autism, and finding companies willing to create these opportunities for us, I don't see things as getting much better.

So in other words: start actually giving us chances to support ourselves. If you don't want to do that, give us disability benefits. Don't pretend like we don't exist and leave us to fend for ourselves.

 

[caitianx]

Unfortunately, we're forced to walk a very fine line in a world that doesn't really understand us or is designed for us.

Yesterday I was at therapy, telling her about my disability denial and that I've appealed and am meeting a lawyer. She told me she'd heard of it taking 18 months to get to the hearing stage, and referred to it as "time wasted." Rather, I look at it as 18 more months my dad can't bitch at me to get a job.

She mentioned trying vocational rehabilitation again, which I said at this point is putting the cart before the horse and that I still want to focus on disability. Besides, like others here can testify, I found it of little use last time, and didn't enjoy being treated like I was retarded.

I think most of us want to function as normally as possible in society, and for those of us who are mid- to higher-level functioning, we can typically manage our day-to-day lives fairly well. I don't need to be supervised in public, or taught hygiene or cooking or whatever that's typically offered in special programs. And that's what sucks about it, having a perfectly fine intellect, but a way of doing things that isn't typically accepted by society.

And that's pretty much why we have little luck finding good supports or programs. You can only teach us to be "normal" so much, and we're typically happiest doing what we know works for us. I think a lot of us could excel with work if we were simply put in an environment that understands and accepts our needs and limitations, but until these programs step up their game, start educating the public on autism, and finding companies willing to create these opportunities for us, I don't see things as getting much better.

So in other words: start actually giving us chances to support ourselves. If you don't want to do that, give us disability benefits. Don't pretend like we don't exist and leave us to fend for ourselves.

Well spoken friend!
Voc. Rehab. for me was useless.
They had no fucking idea of how to help an autistic with Cerebral Palsy like me who has a 4-year engineering degree.
I needed real assistance, and the State of NH VR Services wasted my time.
Anyway, I am trying to enjoy my retirement.

 

[Deleted member 44276]

Yeah i cant say the so called " help " offerd me back then wasent mush to actually help with anything all i know about all my diagnosis is self toght.

 

[ABDLK10]

I am autistic, and I've been lurking/researching ABDL things for a long time. I'm just not in a place to actually do anything because I live with roommates and don't have the money.

 

[Deleted member 44276]

I am autistic, and I've been lurking/researching ABDL things for a long time. I'm just not in a place to actually do anything because I live with roommates and don't have the money.

Welkome to the group

 

[caitianx]

I am autistic, and I've been lurking/researching ABDL things for a long time. I'm just not in a place to actually do anything because I live with roommates and don't have the money.

Good Evening and welcome to the group!
I am a "Night Owl".
Are you?
Anyway, it is past 11:00 PM here in Derry, New Hampshire and I am watching Science documentaries.
My Sundays are usually uneventful, except for attending worship at the Congregational Meetinghouse I belong to.
I had a very long nap today.
Diapered, of course, since I am totally incontinent.
I enjoyed playing with my baby toys at nap time before falling asleep.

 

[BirdCat]

We got a new roommate recently and it has been really difficult. A lot is changing and they're around all the time.

 

[caitianx]

We got a new roommate recently and it has been really difficult. A lot is changing and they're around all the time.

The new roommate will probably nose around and find your dydees.

 

[Autiesaurus]

New here, I'm autistic too, level 2. It's nice that we have our own thread, and I'm glad it's so populated! Siysiy, I'm curious, what do you mean you're not autistic but your little side is?

 

[BirdCat]

The new roommate will probably nose around and find your dydees.

One of my biggest rules has always been "stay out of my space and don't touch my stuff" and it has worked out decently well with my other roommates so far. My door is closed and locked most of the time. But with trying to cram four people now into a place that's designed for two at the most it's a possibility that they'll find out. If this one were away most of the time like the others it wouldn't be that bad, but with them here all the time like they are they'll likely notice when I have to take things to the rubbish bin. It might be about time that I told my roommates about my incontinence troubles. It's not just that that gets to me though. I can't stand being around people all the time and with them around I don't ever get to just be alone or relax in the quiet solitude of my home. Not having any real time by myself I start feeling drained, irritable and get pretty bad migraines. There's always talking or some sort of noise happening in the other room, and since it's basically impossible for me to tune it out I end up wanting to punch somebody by the end of the day. The worst though is the fact that everything is changing too fast, so home feels less like home and more like some strange place I don't know. It's to a point where I'm trying to avoid being at home.