Little Space and Psychosis

[BabyJaden]

So for me, personally, I was recently diagnosed with SchizoAffective Disorder Bipolar Type (which is basically a combination of Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder). I’ve noticed that the only time I ever really go into little space is when I am experiencing psychosis. And of course, just to clarify, I’m not saying that those who go into and enjoy little space regularly are psychotic or mentally unstable. This is purely my own experience with it. When my mental health is stable, I am just a typical 32 year old trans man. But when my mental health is unstable, I find myself VERY drawn to childish things like diapers/Goodnites, pacifiers, coloring, cartoons, educational video games, etc.... When my mental health does start slipping, I sometimes do try to fight it if I notice it happening, because the “rational” mentally healthy part of my adult brain tells me this is “weird” or “odd” or that people will look down on me if they find out. But often times, I don’t notice my slipping into psychosis or little space until it is much too late. And by that time, I find myself making impulse buys of packages of Camelot diapers (my favorite) or Goodnites. Once they arrive, in my brain it confirms my infantile state of mind and the adult part of my brain says “well these were expensive AF, so I better not let them go to waste”. So then, of course, I feel almost as though I cannot stop myself from wearing and using them. The scariest part of being in little space while experiencing psychosis is that I enjoy diapers and pull-ups so much that I get such strong urges to want to become diaper dependent/incontinent, whereas most abdl people and Littles only like to wear and use for pleasure. But my brain tells me that if I am going to wear diapers, I had better NEED to wear them otherwise my wearing is for “nothing”. Has anyone else here ever experienced this???

 

[tsen]

Yes. Whenever I went into the hospital I was actually wearing a good night and they had lots of questions. I don't really want to talk about. it just let it be known you're not the only one.

 

[SeniorMan]

I was recently diagnosed with SchizoAffective Disorder Bipolar Type.

A hospital diagnosed me with Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type with catatonic symptoms (a lack of movement and communication), including agitation, confusion, and restlessness. I guess that my combination of medications (Lithium and Latuda) successfully prevent lapses into psychosis. Latuda comes with very high copays in my Medicare-funded insurance, but fortunately, my nursing home covers it. I suppress my desire for little space because assisted living to which I want to move do not accept littles.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

So for me, personally, I was recently diagnosed with SchizoAffective Disorder Bipolar Type (which is basically a combination of Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder). I’ve noticed that the only time I ever really go into little space is when I am experiencing psychosis. And of course, just to clarify, I’m not saying that those who go into and enjoy little space regularly are psychotic or mentally unstable. This is purely my own experience with it. When my mental health is stable, I am just a typical 32 year old trans man. But when my mental health is unstable, I find myself VERY drawn to childish things like diapers/Goodnites, pacifiers, coloring, cartoons, educational video games, etc.... When my mental health does start slipping, I sometimes do try to fight it if I notice it happening, because the “rational” mentally healthy part of my adult brain tells me this is “weird” or “odd” or that people will look down on me if they find out. But often times, I don’t notice my slipping into psychosis or little space until it is much too late. And by that time, I find myself making impulse buys of packages of Camelot diapers (my favorite) or Goodnites. Once they arrive, in my brain it confirms my infantile state of mind and the adult part of my brain says “well these were expensive AF, so I better not let them go to waste”. So then, of course, I feel almost as though I cannot stop myself from wearing and using them. The scariest part of being in little space while experiencing psychosis is that I enjoy diapers and pull-ups so much that I get such strong urges to want to become diaper dependent/incontinent, whereas most abdl people and Littles only like to wear and use for pleasure. But my brain tells me that if I am going to wear diapers, I had better NEED to wear them otherwise my wearing is for “nothing”. Has anyone else here ever experienced this???

Hi there BabyJaden

Sorry to hear you're struggling mentally. I hope your mental state has improved so far in 2022.
I don't have your condition, so I can only empathise, but I live with a chronic illness which affects both my bladder control and mental state. So I hope that some of what I've experienced may help you:

My main disability is severe chronic nerve pain, which combined with fatigue, can also lead to severe chronic depression. Since 2020 my mental health is now even worse, as COVID has caused PTSD-like flashbacks. With some counselling, I've now managed to overcome the worst of it, but relapses are common. I can get into a very scared state, where both my brain and body are both in pain and lashing out at each other, internally.

I'm medically incontinent, but I became a DL to help come to terms to being diapered 24/7 as a teen. But I'm now developing a 'little-space' to see if it can help me feel calmer and more relaxed in this state. I try and see myself as a grouchy toddler who needs to sleep, and try to remember a time when I wasn't in so much pain w. When I'm in this state, wherever possible I try to wear thicker printed ABDL diapers, because I need that extra comfort and security, both in terms of absorbency and emotional support.

IMO, there is no shame in needing diapers, either for a physical or mental need, and I'd like you to remember this, when you next guilt-trip yourself over your diaper wearing. But at the same time, keep your diapers ready to hand, should your mental health start sliding down.

However as someone who is incontinent, I can say that bladder control is underrated - so keep your continence as much as possible, or it will cause you more issues. Don't wear them 24/7, but keep them handy when you feel bad. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wear diapers to feel more comfortable and secure.

I hope this helps put some of your fears to rest.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[diddles]

That all sounds very familiar to me Baby Jayden. I’m a bit Bipolar and when I’m hypomanic (which is three to four times a year in general) I’m at my diaper loving Littlest more than at any other time. I’m also at my most ‘female’ when I’m hypomanic. They are both always there, but ‘speeding’ and being excessively happy makes me a giggly ‘little’ girl which I why I love being hypomanic. I’m of the opinion that trying to repress my desire to wear diapers or to crossdress would be bad for my mental health which I have lived and coped with for over sixty years. Also, in my experience frustration and then anger would result if I couldn’t ‘regress’ when I need and want to. I think this is a spectrum thing and that you and I are just a bit further along the spectrum than our ‘normal’ abdl friends are. When you ‘psychosis’ what do you mean? Many people think relatively normal and essentially harmless behaviour that they do not engage in is psychotic, but I don’t think diaper wearing or any other harmless fetish implies any sort of abnormal behaviour. As for the wanting to become incontinent business…that is called ‘fantasy’ and it is also a very common and normal thing to do. Now, unless you have run down the street in just a diaper lately I wouldn’t be worried if I was you.

I have said it before, and I will say it again now…two headed calves are weird. Liking diapers and childish thinks is perfectly normal for an adult human being. “That’s absolutely right diddles” my teddies have just confirmed so there you go… straight from the teddies mouth.