I'm sorry I feel like walking an never returning

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handsomestallion said:
If you want or need help, we can gladly provide it to you. You do belong somewhere and that's with us.
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I don't know if it help me but I stop telling mom anything after a long time of work for my big brother an mom step dad my body hurts at times my hands shakes becyof all the fighting one ear is going def sometimes I wish my body would stop


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The Translations



Post 1.


It was hard, I was thinking about when I was 7, after the second time the police busted my messed up parents for selling weed. I never had the internet when i was growing up, I did have some of my parents friends and kids, but this town sucks. there is nothing here now but hard drugs. Most of the people here die, move or end up going to jail. I figured If i had the internet I could finally find a happy place, try and play baby, something. But I guess every punishment , from everyone just wantng to walk away never to return, reminds me of when I was 7, and no one would care.





Post 2.



You dont understand my messed up step dad, When he went to his one friend's house they did some bad drugs, that really affected his mind. before that was ok, he would give me money and other small things. I have now stopped trusting him or anyone in this messed up town. I'm all alone, I'm afraid of everything. I never got hugs when I was younger. I'm weak, sorry.



Post 3.



I dont know what I was expecting, I thought I could find a nice woman here, who would be happy to play mom to me. I dont care about playing baby in real life, I could never do that. I dont feel very accepted, I feel made fun of. sorry.


Post 4.

You all seem nice, maybe its me thats not, I should just quit, I dont belong anywhere.
 
MommyandMattling said:
The Translations



Post 1.


It was hard, I was thinking about when I was 7, after the second time the police busted my messed up parents for selling weed. I never had the internet when i was growing up, I did have some of my parents friends and kids, but this town sucks. there is nothing here now but hard drugs. Most of the people here die, move or end up going to jail. I figured If i had the internet I could finally find a happy place, try and play baby, something. But I guess every punishment , from everyone just wantng to walk away never to return, reminds me of when I was 7, and no one would care.





Post 2.



You dont understand my messed up step dad, When he went to his one friend's house they did some bad drugs, that really affected his mind. before that was ok, he would give me money and other small things. I have now stopped trusting him or anyone in this messed up town. I'm all alone, I'm afraid of everything. I never got hugs when I was younger. I'm weak, sorry.



Post 3.



I dont know what I was expecting, I thought I could find a nice woman here, who would be happy to play mom to me. I dont care about playing baby in real life, I could never do that. I dont feel very accepted, I feel made fun of. sorry.


Post 4.

You all seem nice, maybe its me thats not, I should just quit, I dont belong anywhere.
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Kudos to MommyandMattling for putting the effort into translating.

It does sound like you are having a really rough time getting to grips with things that have happened in your life and coming to terms with finding a way forward. I am sorry you have had to experience rejection and that your dad has made some bad choices in life. I know it is easier to say than do but try to look forward in life. You cannot change the past and it is in your power to make things better. Do you mind if I ask, do you have anyone in the world you can open up to? I appreciate you have said you are all alone but I just wondered if there was one person you could even trust a little bit?

I know it is not for everyone but maybe talking with a councillor or someone like that. I know that the last couple of years I have been through a horrible time as well but I got through it by seeking help. There is nothing worse than not being able to let your thoughts out to a real human. Someone who can sympathise and really get you answering the questions you need answers for. You have the support of the people here and I know that people will listen to your story. But I fully recommend looking into finding some help locally as well. It can feel like a huge weight is lifted when we simply share and know someone else is wanting to help find a way forward.

Something I do regularly when I feel down is think about one good thing that has happened lately, it could be as simple as having your favourite meal. Your team won a great victory or you saw a good film recently. Again, I know this is easy to say and hard to do, but trying to move your thoughts onto any positive aspects can really help with balance. Concentrating on good things can help you overcome the bad things. Keeping yourself busy though activity can a good stress reliever as well. Take a long walk or go for a run. Draw a picture or bake a cake. Try to do things you enjoy to take your mind away from everything that is bringing you down.

There is a way out of this, just try to be strong and take each day as it comes.
 
I do walk I try do thing but I got punished walk everywhere I try to do normal things I try to play cards games got no help every time I save money we was living 35 minutes from town never had anyone who wanted to help me in my life my parents never like me doing things.



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I can't draw I can't bake not enough stuff to make food or power


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I don't have the money an doctor say I'm normal I understand what was going on but to slow mind an no one to help so I was mass up I guess from the stared


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I don't like to go around others I never returned to that mass up town that did nothing for me


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Where do you live now?

are you still living with your step father and step brother?
 
An I guess it fair that again when we move to 40 minutes away he got his mass up friend to come with us his mom never told us her son was in a crazy house for a year more he keep me awake for 3 years when he came of course step dad never help but when he finally did his friend turn on him when he had to call cops on him but they put me though hell because he did not wanted to believe me again


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An the most mass up thing my step dad know what was going to happen when he did them he always say he went to smart school he so much smarter then us so he know what he was doing to mass us up he never buy us tablet I buy us what we need but I stop trying


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im glad that your still trying to buy the things you need. dont give up.

do you have other family members counting on you?
 
No I'm sorry I give I never had family


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Firegoblin13 said:
I buy us what we need but I stop trying
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oh ok well if not family, who else did you buy the tablet for?
 
An what I found out my real family suck they are I don't know any of them but I would be punished big time with my real family they are hardcore into god I would not last an don't want to know anyone


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Me or my mom


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But I got a iPad now


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I wish I had a normal family my step dad never buy what we needed never tablets never Internet we slow on machines


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This is mass up because he doesn't like the big city an cops because of the mass up weed he still selling he lid to us again saying that we move here into this mass up tiny we own the first town before the 2 big flood in the past that stop this place he said that my big brother was not coming here because no internet or it suck then one night there he was again he stay then the fighting hitting I still have that broken tooth he give me 2 years ago before cop took him


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