I'm looking forward to the challenge

[slimjiminy]

There is talk about our family getting together at a park soon. I've dreaded this event since I learned I was IC last year (during the pandemic). There are open washrooms at this park but they are over on the other side from where we hang out (about a 8 minute walk). So that means peeing myself during the 4-6 hours that we'll likely be there for.

But this year, I am ready for the challenge-- I am not going to let IC stop me from enjoying family picnics.

But I do wish to remain discreet about it.

So I'll probably wear a MegaMax there with a fixing pant over top, under cargo shorts. The other option is to go with the NS Supreme Lite, since I don't expect to wet too much. I don't want to change in the washroom. There'll be too many questions about why I am carrying a bag into the washroom (and back to the car). And a backpack will just create more questions. There will be some games with the children and bocce ball for us older gents. I think I'll skip the soccer with the kids but should manage bocce ball ok

Do you have family events like this that give you pause?

 

[Minih]

Will there be questions about taking a bag into the loo? I've done so for years, and never been questioned about it.

In answer to your actual question, though: no, but I've been dealing with this for years and got used to taking a bag when nipping to the loo, or (if in the middle of the countryside/mountains etc) finding somewhere discreet to change in the open. The biggest issue is actually going to the beach if my bowels are bad - the toilets (if there are any) can often be a long way away, there are loads of people around, and if going in the water I'll need to change into a swim nappy and back.

 

[slimjiminy]

Will there be questions about taking a bag into the loo? I've done so for years, and never been questioned about it.

The problem is that the in-laws know me well. And if I bring a bag with me, they'll get curious because guys don't need to bring a bag. But you gave me an idea.. If we both drive, I could park my truck some distance from the picnic area, and then I could slip away, pick up a bag at the truck and head to the washrooms without notice. I hate having to be so secretive.

The biggest issue is actually going to the beach if my bowels are bad - the toilets (if there are any) can often be a long way away, there are loads of people around, and if going in the water I'll need to change into a swim nappy and back.

I could see that being a challenge. Neither of us are beach people anymore so that hasn't been a problem for us.

 

[Raven801]

Of course we all go through these lovely situations and the best I can offer is carry a backpack everywhere and in no time it will just be something people associate with you. I carry a back pack every day every where. Been dual ic for years. Best advice is get over it and do what you need to. In the end who cares. Friends and family will find out eventually. And being honest and slightly open about it with select friends and family can greatly reduce stress my friends and family all know now for the most part. And WOW so much less stress. Just saying
Oh and as my friends and family found out over the years never had a negative reaction maybe I got lucky.

 

[Arrex]

Don't worry about it, just grab your bag and go. We make this big deal about people wondering why we are carrying a bag like the first thought in their mind is that we are carrying diapers with us to go change. Realistically I doubt I would even be high on the list of first thoughts of carrying a bag to the bathroom. Wipes is probably the first thought. How often have you found a public restroom that had nice toilet tickets? If anyone asks just tell them its wipes and if they press the issue tell them its for hemorrhoids stuff and thell likely drop it.

 

[slimjiminy]

Don't worry about it, ... If anyone asks just tell them its wipes and if they press the issue tell them its for hemorrhoids stuff and thell likely drop it.

I'll have to remember that one!

Today, I visited a family member over an hour away from home, from noon to dinner time in a NS Supreme Lite. As a test run, I found that it was quite sufficient for me since I was hydrating all afternoon (non-alcoholic). I am learning to love these diapers and find they're more comfortable than a MegaMax.

 

[ParaRomeo]

As for protection level honestly everyone is different, depending on situation and a availability of bathrooms I do tend to side on prepare for worse and pray for best.

So like last night I went out being paralyzed the place I went isn't most accessible and an hour drive also was going to have few adult drinks so I wore a thicker diaper knowing that changing would be next to impossible.

You mentioned the event is 4-6hrs but you need to also factor in getting ready and the drive as well. So my normal day to day setup is good for 4-6hrs but say at work I am probably changing around the 4hr mark because with getting ready and drive to work also usually have few coffees.

If you have shorts that can conceal the thicker diaper and your confident wearing that me personally I would go with that but if your more comfortable or know your routine better wearing lighter protection than I would wear what's most comfortable for you I definitely wouldn't wear something new, not everyone needs the thickest most absorbent products some manage well with others(I have few different diapers that I use regularly like I get 4 cases of Northshore Supreme's a month but might buy a case of Rears Inspire Overnights every 2-3 months it's what I consider specialty use but also in summer keep NS Supreme Breathables or other Breathable diaper that fits in where I need it ) .

As for bathrooms it sounds like you can park near bathrooms I would just do that and honestly if it's a family event or event in general more so at a park there probably be people that will be doing their thing they probably wouldn't notice.

When I first got hurt I was nervous about going to family events/holidays and even though my situation is different i have brought my backpack and happy that one of the holidays was like F it I am going(it's part of not letting IC control your life), it is what it is and been to various family and other events and haven't heard anything for most part, I did have one person that is like a brother ask why I had my bag with me and I told him and they were supportive. The only time I was sort of embarrassed but know it wasn't done in a negative way I accidentally left a pack of wipes in the bathroom and a close friend pulled me aside and was like I hope you don't mind you left your wipes in the bathroom and I put them back in your bag. Like I said my situation is different not only being disabled but what I consider my family is not blood related I don't have many blood family I do much with but my chosen family is super close friends that I consider brothers and sisters. I am at a point in life where I do things with people I choose to do stuff with

 

[slimjiminy]

As for protection level honestly everyone is different, depending on situation and a availability of bathrooms I do tend to side on prepare for worse and pray for best.

That is good advice in general but in my situation it would be overkill and uncomfortable.

You mentioned the event is 4-6hrs but you need to also factor in getting ready and the drive as well.

The drive for us is about 20 minutes, so this isn't a problem. I recently did a test run visiting someone an hour+ away for the afternoon. I also drank a non-alcoholic beverage all afternoon and that worked out ok with the NS Supreme Lite (plain white).

If you have shorts that can conceal the thicker diaper and your confident wearing that me personally I would go with that but if your more comfortable or know your routine better wearing lighter protection than I would wear what's most comfortable for you

Ya, I want to be able to interact with the grandkids a bit (soccer/badminton etc.) without crinkling all over the place. I know my in-laws would be supportive if they knew but I don't want them to be feeling sorry for me. Some are very diaper-phobic. They just don't need to know.

As for bathrooms it sounds like you can park near bathrooms I would just do that and honestly if it's a family event or event in general more so at a park there probably be people that will be doing their thing they probably wouldn't notice.

Near the washroom is a popular spot and we usually don't go there for that reason. We usually picnic in a traditional spot some distance away. If I were to suggest something different, there would be mutiny.

When I first got hurt I was nervous about going to family events/holidays and even though my situation is different i have brought my backpack and happy that one of the holidays was like F it I am going (it's part of not letting IC control your life), it is what it is ...

That is pretty much my attitude is this summer. With more practice with different diapers, I am feeling more confident these days, and even unashamed about it.

Thanks for your comments.

 

[Raven801]

I feel ya when my it started getting really had I missed so many things. But over time all the people near me found out in one way or another and now I'm back to living my life ...well sort of lately it's been one thing after another medically speaking. It almost feels like a full time job.but I am definitely gaining confidence and just accepting my situation and just not giving a shit what others think every day I get a touch closer to the perfect balance of not giving a fuck. It's been a rough road paved with concerns anger depression and a whole lotta emotional fuckery.
Best advice I can offer is the sooner people in your circle know the easier it bexomes