If you know, you know: Suspecting a co-worker is 'one of us'

[mistykitty]

This is OP’s boss - not just a teammate with the same boss. Makes it even less wise

Oh well that's different. If it's the boss that's probably not something you should involve yourself in.

 

[iDiapered]

I would not bring it up while you work there. I would be mortified if I met my direct report at a munch or found out he was an ABDL. I’m his boss. I do his appraisals, performance manage him, provide input on his salary and bonus. Knowing he is into the same fetish could massively muddy waters. I’m not mates with him - friendly of course, mates no - and what each of us gets up to in bed is totally irrelevant. If you get too close it could lead to a perception of favouritism.

Maybe your office is super open and casual (depends what you do) but it is just not a conversation you should usually be having with your boss. Wait till one of you is leaving.

I actually question the professionalism of someone pitching up at work with ABU merch - again depends on office environment and culture, but it’s not just a shared interest you discuss over coffee in the kitchen.

As Mingus mentioned, I am a manager and I happened to manage another ABDL acquaintance in my team and it was weird from the beginning. Although your boss seems open about it, it is never good to be too close to your boss or employees. You should separate work from the abdl world.

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

Difficult call, what do either of you gain by knowing that you share the same kink? Consider the downsides first.

 

[adam]

I think it would dangerous to even bring it up. They are in a leadership position over you and personal interaction between leader and subordinate begins to cross invisible lines. Sometimes we go too far and not know it. Here is sort of an example of over-zealously crossing the imaginary line without knowing that you did. I worked in a job where the manager was really enthralled with a particular book. It was some sort of character building book, but most of us felt it had some religious overtones.

He REALLY wanted us to get that book and read it. To the point of telling us to buy it and expense it. No one did, so he bought them and presented them to us. Before we knew it he was scheduling MANDATORY meetings before work once a week. When it became obvious that we weren't doing our "homework", he decided to assign each of us a chapter. He wanted us to read the chapter and then relate it to the others. at the next meeting It was very uncomfortable. So awkward that the rest of us started calling it "church" behind his back. He even made veiled suggestions that we go to some meetings outside of work. All of this falls under harassment in the workplace and someone at his level should have not gone anywhere near it.

The rest of us discussed it a lot and were torn about if we should go to HR. He was otherwise a decent boss and let us pretty much set our own course as long as we got the projects finished successfully. We all decided to gradually just miss "church" until he finally got the message. It was never mentioned again and I eventually retired from that company.

As an aside (and I have related this before), previously worked for a Fortune 50 company. One day I was reading a Usenet newsgroup (ASFD) and up pops up a message from some guy's corporate Email. Boy did he mess up. It was a diaper related question, clearly ABDL related. I really agonized over whether to approach him but never did. I met him in person at an awards ceremony and it was so weird. Oh yeah- I forgot to say: He was one of our CORPORATE ATTORNEYS! Ouch

SWAH

Adam

 

[googlyeyes467]

I would hate it if there was a management-employee difference between me and the other person. I try to avoid personal conversations with my boss in general and would hate to have this conversation with a subordinate as well.

However if it was another employee at the same level I would be like "Shut the door. We need to talk! "

 

[LittleAcorn]

I've shared this a few times: For almost 20 years I worked for a large tech company with about 100,000 employees. Not long after joining ADISC, another member messaged me and asked, "So... Do you work at (name of company) too?" "Yes" was the answer. I'd described my job in a forum post and my location was on my profile. It probably wasn't hard to guess. Well, over a relatively short period of time this snowballed, and pretty soon there were about a dozen of us having monthly munches at work. Wise? Well, no. Probably not. Fun? Definitely! Several of us, including myself, had stuffies in our offices. It was the type of work environment where you could wear Sesame Street clothing and nobody would care. I didn't, but others did.

So the rate of ABDL's in the general population is probably greater than 1/10,000 then - and that's only those comfortable enough to attend a munch. That's super interesting.

 

[Cottontail]

So the rate of ABDL's in the general population is probably greater than 1/10,000 then - and that's only those comfortable enough to attend a munch. That's super interesting.

It's also tempting to interpret this as "ABDLs are geeks." But actually we had a couple of people in non-tech roles.

 

[babywear]

What if the person has a need for the store purchase, incontinence and liked the lanyard. Do you really want to say ''Hi I see you enjoy wearing diapers like me''. Yes people who wear for need also buy from ab stores as the products last quite a bit longer than some cheaper over the counter pads. No pun intended, butt it could get messy, yeh okay.

 

[guest]

i had a coworker that worked with me/ who now would make sence she is little she did work also with her bf , she acted in a little way often when in work vehicles as we traveled to job sites , she did do a random comment an isle away from where i was working unsure if was to get my attention or if it was a joking like hint, all i hear is i dont know how to poop so ''' XXX bf name Changes me '' or something of that line haha

 

[LittleAcorn]

It's also tempting to interpret this as "ABDLs are geeks." But actually we had a couple of people in non-tech roles.

Yeah, yeah - I almost wrote something about it only holding in populations that are similar to large tech companies. Of course, we'd need to consider if everyone found out about this munch on adisc, consider the number of ABDLs who are active here, how many would be comfortable attending a munch.

Based on other data (whose sources I forget now) and rough guesses I figure about 1/1000 to 1/10,000 people are ABDL, so it was cool seeing that lower bound backed up by another source.

 

[dogboy]

When I did IT work for one of our public schools, I always considered it just a job and I never mixed pleasure with the job. I didn't get involved in any of the gossip and when I clocked out, I clocked out mentally as well. I would just leave this alone because things could get kinky.

 

[Diapertoddler]

For these scenarios i often ponder that a post about what you seen on here is enough. Sure the chances are not great that the individual is a memeber of this site but there is still a chance and which they might see the post then choose to engage or not. Other wise keep work life seperate from personal.

 

[UnderTheRadar]

Don't ask
respect their privacy
at best you're wrong or worst HR gets involved

He has an Abu lanyard... I mean he's advertising

 

[SparkyDog]

He has an Abu lanyard... I mean he's advertising

which imo shouldn't be done at work between co-workers and or supervisors
this isn't the same thing as wearing a sports team hat

 

[UnderTheRadar]

which imo shouldn't be done at work between co-workers and or supervisors
this isn't the same thing as wearing a sports team hat

I agree

 

[Prillprillprill]

Oof this is so interesting
Tbh if I was in that situation I wouldn't say or do anything about it. I'd just secretly really enjoy knowing this about them.
It kind of makes them less intimidating.
Like if they were ever having a go at me or being unreasonable etc I'd just imagine them in a peekaboo and smile to myself.

Seems a bit unwise that they advertise it really. I mean of course most people won't know what it is, but you know some might and... Hey look you do! I just wonder what they were hoping to achieve.

 

[Subtlerustle]

Risky behaviour by the boss. If the OP enters into the abdl conversation the whole dynamic of the relationship can change. Maybe for the good but maybe for the bad. The boss may at some point feel threatened about another coworker having this intimate knowledge about them. Even if they invited with the obvious laniard.
A few years ago I was with a coworker in a closed environment for about five hours. Early on we discovered that we went to the same high school but she was three years younger than me. She remembered me but I only vaguely recalled her. I guess she felt super comfortable with me as around hour three she started describing explicit bathroom sex with her husband at a party she was hosting. I’m not a prude but this was awkward AF! We were in closed quarters and I was her boss. I wanted to escape but couldn’t. So was my familiarity to this woman like the OP’s laniard that somehow invited this surprise? If so, I wasn’t asking for anything like this info and in the work hierarchy it put me in a weird position.

 

[ChrisChris]

abdl swag is a give away ive seen out in the world. saw a guy with a abu peek aboo hat.

 

[Traveler]

Depending on what else you know and how well you and this person get along, I’d go into it with the mindset of “I’m pretty sure, but the world is huge and it’s my employment we’re talking here.” Maybe one day say you think the lanyard is cool and ask where they got it. Be cool and gauge what they tell you. It sort of flips the dynamic and puts the ball in their court. Just remember the first word in ABDL is ADULT.