I need help? Should I tell a friend?

gnd567

gnd567

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So, it turns out there are way more AB's in my area than I thought.
I joined a group on Fetlife and as it turns out they have a really great ABDL/little's munch every month and there's always a great turnout and they're very welcoming to new comers.

Id love to go and itt's only about 30-45 mins from my house but the problem is I don't drive due to my low vision and would need a ride. I still live with my parents and the only people who drive me around are usually them or my one true friend (the "merch guy" for the band I play in) who I ride with when we play out of town gigs.
I thought about getting an uber or something similar but everyone would be suspicious because I've never done anything like that before.

I want to go but I need a ride. I know it may sound silly but, should I ask my friend if he'd be willing to give me a ride there and to pick me up later? It's at a mall and I could give him money to go shopping or something while I was there? I don't know. I need ideas. What do you guys think I should do? I'm ready to break out of my shell and meet some people.
 
I think thats super !!!! Just ask him for a ride, you don't have to go into specifics with your friend if he trusts you. Tell him you are going to a support group and I am sure he may be a bit curious, and like I said if he is a true friend he won't ask any questions, just passing that by you to see how you feel. Of course offer him money or even a nice lunch or dinner, hey you never know sweetie unless you try... Good luck to you and enjoy !
 
Even though I've always been shy and a homebody (other than work/the band), I want to work past that. It's scary, because I know people close to me will suspect something's up because I never go out unless its for work and but I can't help but feel like this is calling me.
 
Well I say if you have the funds for uber or a cab, go for it sweetie and have some fun.
 
Sure, ask your friend. That is a bit of a drive though, so offer him gas and mall/food money loke you said. (He may end up wanting to wait in that area to pick you back up).
 
As far as an uber. No reason you couldn't tell people you're trying to be more independent rather than relying on them.
 
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Another option is to ask if someone at the meet could give you a lift. Never know someone might live close enough to make a detour if you offer them gas money
 
These are both options I’ve considered. I may go with the Uber simply because I don’t personally know anyone going to the munch and getting a lift from a stranger sounds kinda scar.
 
I would take an Uber if you have the cash. No questions asked and as said before you can just say you want to be more independent. Or say your friend couldn't give you a ride. People who go out regularly or at least don't have such a huge problem with it will mostly not find it irritating when someone else is behaving the same way :). Just because it feels strange for you your family will not necessarily feel the same way!
Best of luck!
 
take the uber the first time. if youenjoy the munch and meet some people there you could ask them for a ride the next time. one step at a time.
 
so I have experience in this. I "Came out" as an ABDL to my family friend of 18 years. Her first reaction was disgust and confusion for a couple of months but after that wore off she acually tried bottles and pacis just out of curiosity. She understood it and now we are back to normal :).

Another friend I told died laughing (in a good way) if that makes sense. He understood it but it was such a shock to him that he just laughed at it and we both did together.

if your confident about telling your merch guy then it will be fine. Most musicians from my experience are really open

Good luck
<3
 
pampersguy said:
People who go out regularly or at least don't have such a huge problem with it will mostly not find it irritating when someone else is behaving the same way :). Just because it feels strange for you your family will not necessarily feel the same way!
Best of luck!
Click to expand...
Thank you!
Hopefully I can work this out
I need to be able to find my way around once I get there. Maybe I could ask someone to meet me in the parking lot. I might get lost otherwise. I can only see about a distance of maybe 4-5 feet so I can’t read signs.
I know they will be suspicious though because none of us ever go anywhere really. My dad drives me to and from work (the band's gigs) and to the store if I need something but other than that, I don't go anywhere that much. If an Uber showed up for me, they'd seriously be thinking "What? Where's he going? There's no gig tonight, he doesn't have any friends and he doesn't know how to get around in public without someone to guide him. Something really secret is going on!"

I'm serious. They'd know something strange was going on. If I don't have a gig, my dad and I are hard at work on our original band; writing, recording, booking, ect. We spend hours on it nearly every day. I'm very devoted to my passion and as far as they know, I have no other interests/hobbies other than music, which s partly true. Other than music, the only other things I'm really into are ABDL, and classic 90's Nick, both of which are secrets.

And the main thing is if I did go, when I got back, the tension would hell. They know that the only time I keep things a secret is when I'm ashamed, embarrassed or I did something really bad. And when I won't talk about it, I'm worried what will become of my relationship with them, my father especially. He, like myself, has very little life other than the music either and he'd know I was hiding something big.
Like myself, I believe he has some trust issues from childhood and may start to distance himself from me and our lifelong project will be ruined. That and we will each lose the only friends we have, each other.

It's complex. They both know that I wear diapers because dad opened a case of my diapers by mistake and mom has moved my stash on several occasions. They don't know anything about ABDL and I fear they'd be quite shocked. They are pretty vanilla. Dad gets freaked out by anything out of the ordinary.

I hate sounding like a teenager trying to hide shit from his parents but I'm in a very unique situation. My dad is my driver, my musical partner and best friend and knows I would never do something like this without there being something I'm trying to keep some shameful secret from everyone. He taught me to be honest with him because he's always been up front with me, so for me to do something like this would not only send up major red flags but could scar our relationship for a very long time.

Have I ever mentioned I have a deep rooted fear of abandonment? I guess most probably have guessed this by now.
 
Last edited:
gnd567 said:
Thank you!
Hopefully I can work this out
I need to be able to find my way around once I get there. Maybe I could ask someone to meet me in the parking lot. I might get lost otherwise. I can only see about a distance of maybe 4-5 feet so I can’t read signs.
I know they will be suspicious though because none of us ever go anywhere really. My dad drives me to and from work (the band's gigs) and to the store if I need something but other than that, I don't go anywhere that much. If an Uber showed up for me, they'd seriously be thinking "What? Where's he going? There's no gig tonight, he doesn't have any friends and he doesn't know how to get around in public without someone to guide him. Something really secret is going on!"

I'm serious. They'd know something strange was going on. If I don't have a gig, my dad and I are hard at work on our original band; writing, recording, booking, ect. We spend hours on it nearly every day. I'm very devoted to my passion and as far as they know, I have no other interests/hobbies other than music, which s partly true. Other than music, the only other things I'm really into are ABDL, and classic 90's Nick, both of which are secrets.

And the main thing is if I did go, when I got back, the tension would hell. They know that the only time I keep things a secret is when I'm ashamed, embarrassed or I did something really bad. And when I won't talk about it, I'm worried what will become of my relationship with them, my father especially. He, like myself, has very little life other than the music either and he'd know I was hiding something big.
Like myself, I believe he has some trust issues from childhood and may start to distance himself from me and our lifelong project will be ruined. That and we will each lose the only friends we have, each other.

It's complex. They both know that I wear diapers because dad opened a case of my diapers by mistake and mom has moved my stash on several occasions. They don't know anything about ABDL and I fear they'd be quite shocked. They are pretty vanilla. Dad gets freaked out by anything out of the ordinary.

I hate sounding like a teenager trying to hide shit from his parents but I'm in a very unique situation. My dad is my driver, my musical partner and best friend and knows I would never do something like this without there being something I'm trying to keep some shameful secret from everyone. He taught me to be honest with him because he's always been up front with me, so for me to do something like this would not only send up major red flags but could scar our relationship for a very long time.

Have I ever mentioned I have a deep rooted fear of abandonment? I guess most probably have guessed this by now.
Click to expand...
If you cannot see well, then perhaps you would be better off in a taxi .... door to door
 
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