I got a surprise visit with all my baby stuff out!

[LittleJulie]

Hello everyone!

I post very infrequently here but I would like your help and advice with the situation that I just had happen.
I've been having a very cold apartment for a few days (many many people had complained about this in our area) and brought it up with my landlord.

This mornining (not really morning) the maintenance guy knocked on the door. I wasn't even dressed so I just had to throw on some clothes.
I thought he was just going to check on the ventilation but proceeded to enter all the rooms to check the radiators etc.
Thing is since he didn't let me know ahead of time that he'd be coming I had all my stuff out. My plushies, diapers, pacifiers still in my bed, and a baby bottle on my desk next to my computer monitor.

He was very professional and only went in to do what he needed to do - and didn't say anything about it - but I still found this SUPER AWKWARD and I felt very ashamed to have been "outed" like that. Now I'm kinda worried that he'll have a laugh at my expense with his colleagues or buddies... I always worry about what other people think of me and this side of me (if they find out).

I know it's "just" an alternative lifestyle, and that I'm an adult who has the right to do what is right for me and what makes me comfortable, but at the same time it feels devastating when something like this happens. Although I've accepted that I am a little, and transgender/genderfluid - I still want to be in control of who, and when, and how much of this side of me I show to people - and now all of it was on display.....

..... This all feels horrible...

 

[Safari]

omg !! But let me tell you, I’m a contractor and believe me, seeing your baby stuff lying around is not nearly as bad as some of the things my customers leave lying around, whether deliberate or accidentally. I wouldn’t worry too much about the person seeing your things, as it was probably just as embarrassing for him as much as for you! We contractors don’t immediately jump back in the van to ring other people, we are more concentrated on our next job or on fixing the job we have been assigned to do !

 

[LittleJulie]

omg !! But let me tell you, I’m a contractor and believe me, seeing your baby stuff lying around is not nearly as bad as some of the things my customers leave lying around, whether deliberate or accidentally. I wouldn’t worry too much about the person seeing your things, as it was probably just as embarrassing for him as much as for you! We contractors don’t immediately jump back in the van to ring other people, we are more concentrated on our next job or on fixing the job we have been assigned to do !

You're probably right that it's far from the worst thing that they've seen, but it's just that feeling... I don't know like I felt ashamed having someone see it that wasn't supposed to. He was very professional about the situation (focused on doing his job) but I just wished they would've called ahead about needing to come in the apartment so that I could've had a chance to .... put away the stuff.

Also with regard to the Corona situation. Not really comfortable with the fact that they don't wear a mask as I am also "high risk". I try to do everything I can to stay safe from getting infected with Covid. One good thing that came out of this is that it's slightly warmer in my apartment now. From a chill 17.1 degrees celsius (teeth-clatteringly unlivable) to a totasty 19.8 celsius (which is "okay"). They're legally obligated to keep the temperature in the apartment at over 20 degrees at all times.

 

[Diapertoddler]

That is anxiety playing a devilish move on you. We who have anxiety tend to be self centered when it comes to what attention we dream is on us. Think about it this way. This maintenance worker has their own life, own shit going on that they don’t want to talk about and chances are, got a call that they really don’t want to work and just want to get in and out and on with the next. The sooner you accept that, the easier that will be on your mind.

 

[dogboy]

I've learned that most people move on and in a few weeks he won't be thinking about it. I've been walked in on a number of times, usually by family members. One time my grandson came over to the house to leave something in our bedroom and he left it on my teddy bear. I think there were a lot of smiles the next time the family got together.

I've had delivery men show up when I was diapered and wet and all you can do is act normal....haha....normal. Oh well, life goes on and so do we. At least he didn't walk into a bondage torture chamber and those exist in some people's houses too.

 

[ForestExplorer]

I agree with what everyone has been saying. I don’t think it’s a big deal; even if he did notice everything he’s not likely to remember it or gossip to anyone. And if he does it doesn’t matter. I know it can be hard to do but try not to care much about what others think, especially if they’re not people who hold important roles in your life.

 

[GoodnitesLover8]

Hello everyone!

I post very infrequently here but I would like your help and advice with the situation that I just had happen.
I've been having a very cold apartment for a few days (many many people had complained about this in our area) and brought it up with my landlord.

This mornining (not really morning) the maintenance guy knocked on the door. I wasn't even dressed so I just had to throw on some clothes.
I thought he was just going to check on the ventilation but proceeded to enter all the rooms to check the radiators etc.
Thing is since he didn't let me know ahead of time that he'd be coming I had all my stuff out. My plushies, diapers, pacifiers still in my bed, and a baby bottle on my desk next to my computer monitor.

He was very professional and only went in to do what he needed to do - and didn't say anything about it - but I still found this SUPER AWKWARD and I felt very ashamed to have been "outed" like that. Now I'm kinda worried that he'll have a laugh at my expense with his colleagues or buddies... I always worry about what other people think of me and this side of me (if they find out).

I know it's "just" an alternative lifestyle, and that I'm an adult who has the right to do what is right for me and what makes me comfortable, but at the same time it feels devastating when something like this happens. Although I've accepted that I am a little, and transgender/genderfluid - I still want to be in control of who, and when, and how much of this side of me I show to people - and now all of it was on display.....

..... This all feels horrible...

I would bet $100 that they think you have an actual baby....

 

[littleluvs]

Im thankful that all the places I rented , say they must give a 24 hour notice before entering. Im very careful about hiding my stuff.

 

[LittleJulie]

Im thankful that all the places I rented , say they must give a 24 hour notice before entering. Im very careful about hiding my stuff.

My landlord actually has something similar where you are can choose if they're allowed to enter using the master key, or if you have to be home for them to go in the apartment, which would then mean (I'd assume) that they'd call ahead.This maintenance man just rang the doorbell with me still in bed sucking my pacifier.... - so maybe not.

I didn't even know they intended to come to the actual apartment to fix the heating problem as it probably is a problem not fixable in the actual apartment. He who came here yesterday said it was a software control problem but I guess they wanted to make sure the radiators were working properly....

 

[LittleJulie]

I would bet $100 that they think you have an actual baby....

Or maybe a single dad with a young daughter?
My whole apartment is a mix of My Little Pony, Frozen and Sofia The First.

 

[LittleJulie]

I agree with what everyone has been saying. I don’t think it’s a big deal; even if he did notice everything he’s not likely to remember it or gossip to anyone. And if he does it doesn’t matter. I know it can be hard to do but try not to care much about what others think, especially if they’re not people who hold important roles in your life.

It could actually be I'm overthinking this whole thing but it was just such an unpleasant experience.
I've always had ample time before to put away the things I didn't want for someone visiting to see...

 

[LittleJulie]

That is anxiety playing a devilish move on you. We who have anxiety tend to be self centered when it comes to what attention we dream is on us. Think about it this way. This maintenance worker has their own life, own shit going on that they don’t want to talk about and chances are, got a call that they really don’t want to work and just want to get in and out and on with the next. The sooner you accept that, the easier that will be on your mind.

I've actually never thought of myself as having an anxiety issue - until you brought that up as a possibility. I probably am a very anxious person by nature now that I think about it. Sucking my pacifier and clutching my blankie makes me calm down when I'm really worried or stressed. I'm glad I have that way of bringing the calm and that I haven't had to resort to things like smoking or drinking....

 

[lupin]

There's nothing you can do about it now, so just shrug your shoulders and move on.

 

[Kymi]

There's nothing you can do about it now, so just shrug your shoulders and move on.

Agreed.

 

[LittleJulie]

I've learned that most people move on and in a few weeks he won't be thinking about it. I've been walked in on a number of times, usually by family members. One time my grandson came over to the house to leave something in our bedroom and he left it on my teddy bear. I think there were a lot of smiles the next time the family got together.

I've had delivery men show up when I was diapered and wet and all you can do is act normal....haha....normal. Oh well, life goes on and so do we. At least he didn't walk into a bondage torture chamber and those exist in some people's houses too.

As I said in another reply I'm probably overthinking this, but it was such a stressful thing to realize that I didn't put the stuff away before I let him in the apartment. And then he just walked into the main living space where I thought he wouldn't go. I can relate to your having the delivery man show up when in diapers and wet. That has happened. Also not a great feeling but I care a little less about these people seeing me as the likelihood of one of them delivering something more than once is very small. Infinitely smaller than the maintenance guys employed by the landlord that I'm renting an apartment from popping in on me again anyway.

And I guess looking at it from the perspective of "it ain't a bondage torture chamber", some diapers, pacifiers and cuddle blankets and a baby bottle isn't so bad

 

[ajc2000]

If the same guy comes round again anytime soon to fix radiators or whatever is the problem with your heating will you now hide your stuff or leave a few things out to keep the illusion of having a small child living with you?

 

[LittleJulie]

If the same guy comes round again anytime soon to fix radiators or whatever is the problem with your heating will you now hide your stuff or leave a few things out to keep the illusion of having a small child living with you?

That's a very good question. I may not leave paci's in my bed (or my bed in an unmade state) but sure, dolls, plushies, all that kinda stuff - that's hard to hide so that'll stay regardless. And yes my landlord will have to do SOMETHING about the heating situation here as the temperature is under 20 degrees still. Actually it's gone down again.... so now it's like 17.8 degrees .... and at my parents it's still 21.5-22.0 degrees.

 

[iPad]

Hello everyone!

I post very infrequently here but I would like your help and advice with the situation that I just had happen.
I've been having a very cold apartment for a few days (many many people had complained about this in our area) and brought it up with my landlord.

This mornining (not really morning) the maintenance guy knocked on the door. I wasn't even dressed so I just had to throw on some clothes.
I thought he was just going to check on the ventilation but proceeded to enter all the rooms to check the radiators etc.
Thing is since he didn't let me know ahead of time that he'd be coming I had all my stuff out. My plushies, diapers, pacifiers still in my bed, and a baby bottle on my desk next to my computer monitor.

He was very professional and only went in to do what he needed to do - and didn't say anything about it - but I still found this SUPER AWKWARD and I felt very ashamed to have been "outed" like that. Now I'm kinda worried that he'll have a laugh at my expense with his colleagues or buddies... I always worry about what other people think of me and this side of me (if they find out).

I know it's "just" an alternative lifestyle, and that I'm an adult who has the right to do what is right for me and what makes me comfortable, but at the same time it feels devastating when something like this happens. Although I've accepted that I am a little, and transgender/genderfluid - I still want to be in control of who, and when, and how much of this side of me I show to people - and now all of it was on display.....

..... This all feels horrible...

Sorry to hear that you are feeling bad about it, but at the risk of sounding trite, there's no use crying over spilt milk. You can't undo it, and there's nothing you can do about it. But (and I know this is easier said than done), why should you care or worry about what a total stranger might think or might say? You said they were very professional, they may mention it, but why would they make fun of you? But even if they do, who cares?

That being said, I know that I would feel exactly the same way. But you need to remember that you are not doing anyone any harm, you are what you are, and you ought not to feel ashamed or embarrassed about being a little, even though I would be super embarrassed if someone found out that I was a little.. at first anyway.

Also, for all you know, the guy may have been wearing pink silk panties under his jeans. Everyone has their 'thing', and so long as it doesn't harm anyone else, then fair enough.

I had four firemen in my apartment unexpectedly last year when my neighbour's flat caught fire. They came into my bathroom and my spare room, which is now my 'little' room, and so I know that I could have had a similar experience to you. I guess I would feel bad at first, but then ultimately that would lead to me feeling bad about being a little, and I don't feel bad about that, so why should I feel bad if strangers know about it? I'm not ready yet for family or friends to know, but that's a different ball game!

Anyway, I hope you don't feel too bad about it. try not to convince yourself that everyone who may find out about your littleness is going to mock you or belittle you (if you pardon the pun) for it. Indeed, they may think the total opposite and quietly admire you for it. And the chances are they have stuff that they would rather you didn't know about too!

 

[TaylorThelop]

He honestly woulden't have blinked an eye about it. These guys see some crazy things in peoples homes, I doubt he even paid attention or thought anything about it.

 

[Jim100]

Hello everyone!

I post very infrequently here but I would like your help and advice with the situation that I just had happen.
I've been having a very cold apartment for a few days (many many people had complained about this in our area) and brought it up with my landlord.

This mornining (not really morning) the maintenance guy knocked on the door. I wasn't even dressed so I just had to throw on some clothes.
I thought he was just going to check on the ventilation but proceeded to enter all the rooms to check the radiators etc.
Thing is since he didn't let me know ahead of time that he'd be coming I had all my stuff out. My plushies, diapers, pacifiers still in my bed, and a baby bottle on my desk next to my computer monitor.

He was very professional and only went in to do what he needed to do - and didn't say anything about it - but I still found this SUPER AWKWARD and I felt very ashamed to have been "outed" like that. Now I'm kinda worried that he'll have a laugh at my expense with his colleagues or buddies... I always worry about what other people think of me and this side of me (if they find out).

I know it's "just" an alternative lifestyle, and that I'm an adult who has the right to do what is right for me and what makes me comfortable, but at the same time it feels devastating when something like this happens. Although I've accepted that I am a little, and transgender/genderfluid - I still want to be in control of who, and when, and how much of this side of me I show to people - and now all of it was on display.....

..... This all feels horrible...

He got a snot full