Do you rememer THE time

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I know that it started when I was very young. Unfortunately, I can't remember the specific moment or incident. I vaguely remember being in pre-school, and there were one or two kids who still wore diapers. I do recall being around 5 or 6, and seeing these old Huggies commercials in the 80s, back when all plastic baby diapers were white (that I remember, anyways). The baby would be crawling along, and as the commercial talked about the comfort of the elastic around the legs there was a mom who would gently demonstrate by tugging on one. There was something about that which made me ask my mom to buy me some Huggies. Finally, she caved and did so. I even remember the grocery store where she got them. She put one on me, and I would crawl around the living room like a baby. I remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror and admiring how they looked on me. Just as important, I LOVED how they felt; both the softness against my skin on the inside and the plastic on the outside. I was never into messing in them. I just loved wearing them. She would only let me wear a few and then she would throw the practically full box of diapers away and tell me that I wasn't a baby anymore and had to grow up. Periodically, I would beg her for diapers and she go and buy me more, with the same results previously described. This pattern would continue into the early years of elementary school, when I could still fit into baby diapers. When pull-ups came along, I wasn't all that into them, but I think I tried one when I was like 11 or so. Every so often, when I would masterbate, I'd stuff my underwear full of toilet paper to best simulate a diaper. I remember in highschool, I would sneek some of my baby brother and sister's diapers. They didn't fit at all, but I'd open them up and stuff them in the front of my underwear. Finally, one night in college, I couldn't resist the urge and went out and bought a package of Depends. I didn't like how they felt, but as far as I knew they were as close to a baby-like diaper as I was going to get. I was still thin enough that I could wear the jumbo-size Goodnights, so I would buy those too. I got pretty good at hiding them from my roommates, though I came close to getting busted a few times. I remember us going to Target one time, and we passed through the incotinence aisle. For some reason, one of my roommates asked if I needed diapers. I didn't know what he meant by that, if he was just passing a quick joke or if he actually knew about my diapers, so i just played it off and let it go. Growing up, just like now, sometimes it was a sexual fetish and sometimes I really just wanted to wear a diaper. I didn't know why I had these feelings, and I really felt like a freak and like I was the only one. One night, I started researching on my roommate's computer and I came upon the terms "ABDL" and "Infantilism". I can't remember what website it was, but I remember feeling for the first time in my life that something about me made sense. I can definatley say that's when I discovered I was a DL. I was such a computer novice that I didn't realize there was a history of sites visited, and I'm almost positive that's how my roommate knew something was up, but I never asked. To this day, I don't know if any of them knew, and I don't care to ask. When I found sites like "Daily Diapers" and this one, I was relieved to learn there are thousands upon thousands (maybe more) of people like me all around the world. I still haven't met a DL like myself in person yet, and if I did I wouldn't know, but I hope to someday. There are times when I still struggle with whether to keep wearing them for fun or not, but I think that just stems from a lifetime of brainwashing about what is "normal". I'm not hurting anyone. There are some who would call this an addiction and, if that's the case, I can think of worse things to be addicted to than a diaper. I still love wearing diapers obviously, and I'm grateful that forums like this exist.
 
I remember when I was being potty trained that I did not want to be out of them. But when we moved to a different state we still had a case or two of pull ups around and I connived my older brothers to pretend sell them to me then I would go and put them on and if I wasn't caught I would use them and if I was my mom would just think it was cute. But when we finally got a computer I remember looking up stuff about being into diapers and I would read the stories. Also I remember always wanting to go into the baby isle and have my mom pick up a thing of diapers and put me in them but that never happened. But when I was about 16 I fake et the bed and I was able on convoke my mom that due to the stress of the losing the house and a divorce that I needed goodnights do she bought them for me for about a year and half before I told my mom that I was an abdl and it did not turn out how I thought I would.
 
I remember about being 5 or so and hanging out with the kid who lived across the street who was 6. We were playing in his room when I noticed there were a pack of disposable diapers on the floor in his closet. I had worn cloth until I was 3 so something immediately drew me towards the plastic diapers. I kept my eye on the open pack as we continued to play. Slowly I started to hear a rustling when he moved around. Finally I saw the plastic band of the diaper when he moved to grab another toy. I must have said something because I remember us talking about diapers for a while after that. Eventually I asked him if I could put one on and he said sure. He got in the closet and started to climb towards the top shelf. That is when I noticed about 8-10 packs on the shelf. I told him about the pack on the floor and he jumped down and pulled one out. He helped me put it on (as good as a 5 and 6 year old could do) and I quickly pulled up my pants and we set back to playing. We talked a little about diapers and played for a long time. I remember at some point wetting my diaper and wanting to take it off but my friend said to leave it on. Later his sister who was probably 12 or so came in and changed him. When she was finished he told her to change me too. I remember being nervous and excited as she changed me without thinking twice. We played for a while longer before I fell asleep. I remember my parents coming over and carrying me home. I woke up the next morning in my bed with my diaper still on. My mom came and woke me up and playfully asked why I had a diaper on. I told her we were playing house and that his sister had diapered us. She laughed and told me to throw it away which I did. The neighbor moved away a few months later and I wouldn't wear a diaper again for over a decade.
14 years later after I had started wearing diapers again, My mom found a wet diaper in my closet while home from college for the Summer. While she was not supportive she did bring up the fact that I had liked diapers when I was young and said she remembered the instance I referred to above.
Now at age 34 I wear full-time and still feel that thrill I felt when I was diapered at age 5 with the neighbor.
 
I have a hard time pinpointing my ABDL origins. All I remember is not too long after I was out of diapers, I was always around younger cousins who were still in them. Maybe it was the attention they got.
 
I wet the bed until I was nearly 12. As a result, every night I wore either thick training pants with plastic panties, or a disposable diaper. By the time I was 10, the diapers didn't fit anymore, so it was trainers only. I wore openly around the house, and didn't mind my parents or younger brother seeing. My brother had stopped bed wetting by age 4 or so, and he didn't need them.

Now I hated getting my bed wet. More so than the fact of peeing in my sleep. The way I saw it, I didn't like peeing as I slept, but I just couldn't help it, so if I wore a diaper to bed, and I peed, the bed stayed dry. The diapers were just a useful tool to stop having the dreaded wet sheets. I didn't mind admitting to having an accident if I was protected, but I really hated telling mum my sheets needed changing.

So I never really had a "thing" for them growing up. It's just something I wore that helped. I did have a "thing" for wetting my pants though. I don't think I was incredibly accident prone, but I did wet myself quite a few times growing up. More than my little brother did I'd say. But I guess as a bed wetter it wasn't deemed super unusual, and I was rarely punished for it.

My brother and I would deliberately wet our pants when we played outside if we could get away with it. Anything involving playing with water would do. The pool, sprinkler, water pistols etc. would all be an excuse to pee in our pants or swimsuits as we played, then get wet to hide it. I'm sure mum must've known, but I don't recall her ever saying anything. I made a post before about a particular stage where we both had nylon underpants. We learned that we could pee straight through them, and there would only be a small wet spot left behind, it would dry quickly, and couldn't be seen as they were very colourful briefs. We often wore just our briefs when we played outside, and would just stop and piss straight through them onto the grass as we played.

As we got older we stopped doing this of course. Well, he did anyway. I always enjoyed wetting myself when I could, but it got restricted to just in my swimsuit for a while.

One day when I was about 15, I was hanging out with a girl from school, just watching TV and stuff at her place. She was one of the few people that knew that I had used to be a bed wetter. I don't remember how that happened, only that one day u discovered that she had childhood issues with it as well. She said something like "I had too wear a nappy to bed until I was nearly 8", and I replied "11 here!"

We discussed our deep dark almost forgotten past and shared secrets and stories about our bed and pants wetting history. Anyway, this day, we're watching TV and she jumped up and ran to the toilet. When she returned she remarked that she had put it off too long, and had very nearly wet herself! She then remarked that wouldn't it be nice to wear a nappy like we used to when we were little, then we could just wee in it all day and not have to stop what we were doing all the time.

"Who would change us?" I queried.

"We could just change each other." She replied.

BANG! Instant hard on! That was the first time I'd really contemplated wearing a nappy for fun, and not just as a necessary tool. My teenage hormones were suddenly taken hostage by the thought of this girl and I wearing and wetting nappys together. We had never discussed wetting before except for discussing our old bed time habits. We hadn't been swimming or in wet clothes around each other, and I'd never heard of her having an accident except for when we shared our stories, and her last time was aged about 10.

But that simple comment made me realise a few things. I liked this girl, and desperately wanted to see her wet one day' (I never did), and that I wasn't the only one who occasionally thought of wetting myself instead of going to the toilet, and biggest of all, diapers were more than just a tool!

I don't know how I never made the connection before. I used to wear a diaper because I had needed it, and I loved wetting my pants for fun. But I'd never considered wearing and wetting a diaper for pleasure.

My nightly bouts of experimenting with self pleasure started to take on new boundaries after that, as my imagination ran wild.
 
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