drive88
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 33
- Role
- Diaper Lover
I know that it started when I was very young. Unfortunately, I can't remember the specific moment or incident. I vaguely remember being in pre-school, and there were one or two kids who still wore diapers. I do recall being around 5 or 6, and seeing these old Huggies commercials in the 80s, back when all plastic baby diapers were white (that I remember, anyways). The baby would be crawling along, and as the commercial talked about the comfort of the elastic around the legs there was a mom who would gently demonstrate by tugging on one. There was something about that which made me ask my mom to buy me some Huggies. Finally, she caved and did so. I even remember the grocery store where she got them. She put one on me, and I would crawl around the living room like a baby. I remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror and admiring how they looked on me. Just as important, I LOVED how they felt; both the softness against my skin on the inside and the plastic on the outside. I was never into messing in them. I just loved wearing them. She would only let me wear a few and then she would throw the practically full box of diapers away and tell me that I wasn't a baby anymore and had to grow up. Periodically, I would beg her for diapers and she go and buy me more, with the same results previously described. This pattern would continue into the early years of elementary school, when I could still fit into baby diapers. When pull-ups came along, I wasn't all that into them, but I think I tried one when I was like 11 or so. Every so often, when I would masterbate, I'd stuff my underwear full of toilet paper to best simulate a diaper. I remember in highschool, I would sneek some of my baby brother and sister's diapers. They didn't fit at all, but I'd open them up and stuff them in the front of my underwear. Finally, one night in college, I couldn't resist the urge and went out and bought a package of Depends. I didn't like how they felt, but as far as I knew they were as close to a baby-like diaper as I was going to get. I was still thin enough that I could wear the jumbo-size Goodnights, so I would buy those too. I got pretty good at hiding them from my roommates, though I came close to getting busted a few times. I remember us going to Target one time, and we passed through the incotinence aisle. For some reason, one of my roommates asked if I needed diapers. I didn't know what he meant by that, if he was just passing a quick joke or if he actually knew about my diapers, so i just played it off and let it go. Growing up, just like now, sometimes it was a sexual fetish and sometimes I really just wanted to wear a diaper. I didn't know why I had these feelings, and I really felt like a freak and like I was the only one. One night, I started researching on my roommate's computer and I came upon the terms "ABDL" and "Infantilism". I can't remember what website it was, but I remember feeling for the first time in my life that something about me made sense. I can definatley say that's when I discovered I was a DL. I was such a computer novice that I didn't realize there was a history of sites visited, and I'm almost positive that's how my roommate knew something was up, but I never asked. To this day, I don't know if any of them knew, and I don't care to ask. When I found sites like "Daily Diapers" and this one, I was relieved to learn there are thousands upon thousands (maybe more) of people like me all around the world. I still haven't met a DL like myself in person yet, and if I did I wouldn't know, but I hope to someday. There are times when I still struggle with whether to keep wearing them for fun or not, but I think that just stems from a lifetime of brainwashing about what is "normal". I'm not hurting anyone. There are some who would call this an addiction and, if that's the case, I can think of worse things to be addicted to than a diaper. I still love wearing diapers obviously, and I'm grateful that forums like this exist.