This is my topic for sure! I am positive that being a bedwetter growing up is what lead to my being a DL as an adult. Some of my earliest memories from my life involve wearing diapers to bed and waking up wet and going downstairs to the living room to watch tv. Even at the age of 4 or 5 I was struck by a feeling that was a mixture of comfort and shame as I sat there cross-legged on the living room floor watching cartoons when a Huggies commercial would come on. The voice-over would comment on the little boy in the ad standing there looking so sad wearing "one of those saggy diapers that leak". When I heard that, I remember looking down at my own droopy, soggy diaper that was soaked from the night before. I was starting to become aware that I was a little too old to be wearing diapers even though I definitely needed them at night.
I also had several experiences having my diaper put on in front of other people, usually other family members or family friends. My parents never treated my diapers as a punishment. Nor did they deliberately try to publicly shame me for needing diapers. But some times they were completely oblivious to the fact that a five year old could be devastated by his neighborhood buddies seeing him having his Pampers put on him right before bedtime.
The first truly embarrassing moment I can remember involving diapers happened at a very busy public rest stop. We had been traveling in the car on our way to the beach for a weeks vacation. I guess I was about 5 years old and by that time I really only wore diapers to bed or while traveling in the car on longer trips like that. My dad pulled into a rest stop on the parkway after we had been in the car for a few hours, stuck in traffic. I had been sleeping for hours in the backseat of the car. My dad decided to change my leaky diaper in the bathroom at this NJ Parkway rest stop while he went to the bathroom himself. I suppose the bathroom stalls were all occupied because me father changed my wet diaper while I was standing up over by the sinks in the mens room where everyone was coming and going. All I can remember is while my dad was tearing open the tapes of my saggy diaper, another boy about my age came into the bathroom with his own father. His eyes immediately darted towards my peed diaper. I was holding my own t-shirt up while my dad changed the diaper I was wearing. This other boy shouted "Dad! Look! That boy still wears DIAPERS!!!". It was really the first time that I realized that other kids didn't wear them too. It stung pretty hard and I started to cry out of embarrassment. The worst part was since my diaper had leaked on my shorts, my dad carried me out of the bathroom and back to the car and I had on nothing but a clean diaper and t-shirt.
I know my dad really didn't mean any harm in it, but that whole experience changed my life.
Over the next few years, there were several other occasions similar to this one that I can remember. By the time I was about 8, my parents were concerned enough about my wetting to consult with my pediatrician. One recommendation was to take away my diapers, try an alarm, and see how I'd respond. This was when I was about 10. I remember my mom bought these disposable pads for my bed to protect the mattress. The first few nights that I went to bed without a diaper, I actually missed the feeling of wearing them so I decided to pull the disposable mat around my legs and tape it up using Scotch tape. Well, the tapes didn't stick too well but I felt more comfortable sleeping that way. Sadly the alarms, medications, and other treatments just weren't effective and shortly after, I was back in diapers. That first night wearing diapers again, I was both disappointed but also very glad. I slept like a baby!
Once I hit puberty, I really started to feel connected to diapers. The first time I ever "played with myself" was early in the morning after waking up very wet. It was a school day but we were expecting snow. I was either 11 or 12. I can remember getting up out of bed to go to the window to see if it snowed. As soon as I stood up, the weight of the pee in my soggy diaper pulled it down. The slipperiness of the soaked padding slipping down my body actually tickled my morning wood in a way I had never felt before. Let's just say, I quickly returned to my bed and played around with myself in an way that I would repeat almost every single night ever since.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my bedwetting suddenly stopped. Although I was so happy to finally had control, I really did miss wearing diapers at night. But since it was really feeling like more of a fetish, I was very uncomfortable discussing anything related to diapers or bedwetting with my parents. I would sneak diapers from my younger brothers or even steal them from the grocery store.
When I was entering college, out of nowhere, my bedwetting started up again. It wasn't as frequent as it was when I was a kid but it happened enough to make me wear diapers at night again. Sexually speaking, I was way more comfortable with who I was and I really enjoyed incorporating diapers into my sex life. I joined plenty of DL sites online and met up with some really cool guys to play around in diapers.
Now I'm married to a wonderful guy who is not a DL but he understands my bedwetting and has never made me feel bad for wearing a diaper to bed. I really haven't been very honest with him about how diapers are not just a need but a turn on as well. I know he often wonders why some mornings when I wake up wet, I'm in no hurry to take off my soggy diaper.
Either way, I believe the memories I have of growing up wearing diapers to bed are responsible for my morphing into a DL as an adult. I no longer feel the shame I used to feel as a kid. I am only left with the comfort of putting on a diaper after a stressful day and enjoying the padded feeling!
