In the years I have been wearing I've only EVER had ONE instance of someone noticing I was wearing a diaper AND saying something about it, and it was an overall pleasant exchange.
I was driving to my best friend's. He lives 30-ish miles north-northeast of Nashville and it is an 802 mile trip I've made a couple dozen times. When I left NE Pennsylvania, it was in the 40s, raining and very windy. I was dressed like an Eskimo as I do not handle cool or cold weather very well regardless of being inside or outside. My body simply goes "nuclear" and the pain levels I live with on a day to day basis skyrocket, leading with my 24/7/365 headache and closely followed by pain in every major joint throughout my entire body. Anyway it got MUCH warmer the further I drove south and by the time I hit southern VA I had to stop at a rest area to change out of the layers of warm clothing I was wearing as I actually began to sweat! All of my clothes were in 2 large bags and I didn't feel a need to be very particular on what clothes I changed into. Unfortunately I grabbed a pair of shorts that had a worn out weaker waistband. I wear these shorts when fishing or when I'm going to bed. I usually sleep in just a diaper and maybe a shirt in the winter but when not at home with others around I always have something over my diapers.
I was just about on empty when I crossed the VA/Tn state line so I stopped for gas and a coffee. Gas is much cheaper in Tn and I gambled that I had enough gas to get me there going by the trip odometer as my gauge was pegged on E and the low fuel light was on for the last 80ish miles! I got my coffee and paid for the gas and was almost done pumping when a woman tapped me on the shoulder and politely told me that I *might* want to pull my pants up. I was horrified as I reached back and felt that my shorts were down a few inches in the back, showing off what I had on underneath. Needless to say I instantly pulled my shorts up and those shorts saw the inside of a trashcan the next morning!
I know this doesn't *REALLY* answer your question, but I figured I'd answer anyway just to let you know that you have little to nothing to worry about as long as you're careful about how you dress.
The woman was very polite about this and smiled & waved as she got in her car and pulled away. This literally was a "no harm/no foul" situation.
When I first wound up with urinary issues and began wearing diapers I was *OBSESSED*, believing that EVERYONE within visual range of me would **somehow** INSTANTLY KNOW I was wearing a diaper! These days I usually am wearing Megamax as this is what the VA is supplying me with since February or March of this year. I was wearing the Betterdry "DAY" for a time but after wearing Megamax under a pair of underwear, shorts and a T-shirt and no one being able to tell I was wearing a diaper, I've been wearing Megamax almost exclusively for the past couple of months. I have to tell you, NO ONE out there is only looking to see what you are wearing and so long as you dress accordingly, no one is going to be able to tell.
What convinced me of this is an event I experienced not long ago. I was going on a fishing trip in NY with 2 of my friends, Rich & Dave. Both are more than aware of my issues as we've been friends for over 30 years now, with the Richie & I being friends since we met back in 5th grade. Richie has a brand new $85,000+ truck with a LOADED, gorgeous interior. After I loaded all of my gear into the boat and his truck he asked me why I wasn't wearing anything. By that, he meant a diaper. Richie truly thought I wasn't wearing a diaper and out of concern for the leather seats he wanted me to wear one. When I pulled down the side of my shorts and underwear far enough for him to see that I was indeed wearing a diaper, all of us had a chuckle. Both of these guys and their wives (Richie's wife, Jenny, is my best friend's sister who I have known since she was 2) all would come and play pitch with me while I was stuck in the hospital for weeks-months on end when life as I knew it slammed into a wall at 120mph, so they've known about my issues and my needing to wear diapers for 20+ years now. When someone you've known WELL forever can't tell you're wearing a diaper, NO ONE ELSE can, either!
The most important issue with concealing a diaper is how you dress. I ALWAYS inspect myself in a large mirror before going anywhere and I look at the front, back and sides of myself to ensure that I am not "advertising" that I am wearing a diaper. Nowadays I am so proficient at hiding what I am wearing that this has become about as much of a "non-issue" as you can imagine. Sure, I am well aware of what I am wearing (although I honestly hardly ever even think about it anymore!) but I've transitioned my "wardrobe" (I'm a T-shirt & shorts kind of guy and the use of the word "wardrobe" made me chuckle) to clothing that is very well suited towards accommodating diapers and I no longer have ANY clothing that doesn't suit this goal. So long as you inspect yourself to reassure yourself that you're not "showing off", you're good! I know this is hard to imagine when this is a new issue for you but believe me, it's true and in time you're going to be about as indifferent to what you're wearing as I am today.
My last pointer is the "why" I wear underwear over my diaper. This accomplishes two very important goals. The first is functional, because a good pair of underwear supports your diaper, will not allow it to sag very much when it is wet and heavy plus it keeps everything against your body which is important as this prevents leaks! The only way I'll have a leak while wearing while out and about would be if my diaper was at or over capacity (I can literally feel how wet my diaper is without physically checking it) with the other way being if there's ANY gaps between the surface of the diaper (or leak guards) and my body. It's these very gaps, no matter how slight, that allow leaks to occur. The secondary reason for wearing underwear over my diaper is because IF I was to have a waistband "peek" above the waistband of my pants or shorts, all anyone is going to see is the waistband of my underwear. People see other people's underwear waistbands ALL OF THE TIME when someone bends over, reaches up for something really high etc. No one thinks twice about this! I feel that it is pretty much an automatic "indifferent" reaction built into each and every single one of us. Try to think of the last time you saw someone's waistband peeking out and you probably can't! this is because it is such a common occurrence that we don't even register what we've seen when it is something that is as common as this. Pretty much this is human nature. In the cool-cold weather I'm even less worried about this than I am in the summer as I have about 10-12 onesies, and with those on there is next to zero chance that someone will be able to tell I am wearing a diaper. All of my onesies are solid color, short sleeved and plain. I've found black and navy to be the best colors for me as they don't show off stains that loudly and I am frequently working on something be it a car/truck or a piece of commercial equipment, small engine etc. etc. so I frequently get dirty, greasy etc. I highly recommend plain jane onesies as they're quite functional and again, disguise what you're wearing very well.
I hope this helps someone. If you have any questions at all don't hesitate to ask me either on a forum or a direct message> I always respond as soon as I see a message to me.
CptKirk
