Any married AB/DL’s out there?

[dl1036]

So I’m not the only one with a wife that thinks this is a sin? At face value my wife knows that i can’t change but always asks, “do you think God is really ok with this?”. My response has been the same, “I’m at peace with it,” but she just doesn’t buy it. We’ve both prayed and struggled, either to change me (no pun intended) or to change her. One of her comments always hits home, “a much as you can’t change, it’s the same for me, I can’t change.”
I bought the book There’s a Baby in my Bed and read it first, highlighted what was relevant to me and ask her to read it. She got through page 2 maybe and stopped where she read that she should keep a journal. Said she wasn’t there yet. The book seemed like it was good for spouses that wanted to understand and wanted to go deeper, not necessarily for the reluctant and opposing spouse.

It's a good book if you're willing to read it and be open to receiving any of it. I got my wife to read a portion of it once. Maybe you need to get her involved a little slower. If she listens to podcasts, have her listen to a few episodes of "Dream A Little podcast" (though it would be more beneficial if you listened first and picked a few episodes that rang true for you and/or your situation... ya know?).

 

[littlemoosey]

When we got the book, "THERE'S STILL A BABY IN MY BED" we sat down and read it to each other. This way I was able to preemptively fully explain to her the things that applied to me and the things that did not, and there were allot of things that did not. I think that this really helped her understand what she was getting into. This also gave her time to stop and ask me questions to clarify the things that she did not understand. It was a very rewarding experience for the 2 of us. I was lucky she had already embraced me... this was more to learn the details, but it was well worth it to take the time and to assuage any misconceptions that the book might have given her. That book although good, covers many, many scenarios that may or may not apply to any single person. Read alone it could become very scary for someone that is already looking for a "way out" to begin with.

I also from the get go told her, "I do not mess in my diapers". I gave her the reasons why. I think that she really appreciated that. So for over 2 years I have kept that promise to her. Subsequent to that she told me that if it happens, an accident because there was just no where else or that I could not get my "four corner britches" off fast enough, she would help me take care of it. That was very sweet of her. I plan on keeping my promise to her though.

Try reading the book together, and tell her how you feel about things as you read it, let her ask you questions. I recommend this for anybody who has recently told their SO.

 

[tiboonti]

Is this book talking about DL too or only AB ?
I don't want to buy it if it do not concern me, or just on one page...

 

[littlemoosey]

It is mostly aimed at AB. You can look it up on AMAZON and read a few of the sample pages. But for DL, I think that you are correct, most of it would not apply to you.

 

[iwearattends]

Tried that. I read it first and highlighted things that were relevant to me and handed it to her. She read the first couple pages and put it down. She read that she should be journaling and said she was t there yet. Never picked it up again. Think we tossed it when we moved houses.

We’ve been to kink aware counseling. ‘Regular’ therapist that was familiar with ABDL. Whenever it got to a certain point she just gave up...stopped going. My hamster wheel is getting a lot of mileage.

 

[diaperedjb]

My wife knows I am active on this forum. I have even invited her to talk or even just view the threads on it, but she has no desire. When I first told her and things were going down and I posted about it, there was a wife of an abdl guy on here who offered to talk with her over email. She too had a hard time accepting it initially so she felt she had some knowledge to share with my wife and wanted to be someone my wife could talk to because she really couldn’t talk to anybody else about it. Of course, my wife said no to it and never contacted her. The problem is that we are a Christian family, deeply rooted in church and my wife views my diaper wearing as sinning and being possessed by a demon. She has told me many times that she prays for me to be “cured” of this. I wouldn’t mind being “cured”, but until then, I would really love acceptance from the one person who is supposed to love me most.

Several years ago I was very active in the Christian faith and went several years purging my need to wear a diaper. Finally, the urge to wear was so strong I went into a depression and tried praying away the kink side of me. Only within the last 5 years have a come to realize something very vital, especially for someone with a kink: religion, as important as it may be for many reasons, simplifies reality while ignoring the deeper and more complicated side of being human. It took me a very long time to befriend my kink side and purge that shame that creeps in.

 

[mdg91]

I am married to a wonderful husband. We are both into diapers. When we first met he was the one introducing me to diapers, and I introduced him for adult pacifiers. We run a Instagram together, and enjoy this together.

 

[bloss]

Man, reading these posts are great and give me hope! I haven't told my wife yet but I'm trying to get the courage. Thanks for the stories

 

[TheWaddlingDad]

Man, reading these posts are great and give me hope! I haven't told my wife yet but I'm trying to get the courage. Thanks for the stories

It was mentioned above about the Dream A Little podcast. I just recently started listening to this and it is a great resource for ABDL with a vanilla partner. I only wish this was available before I told my wife. Lo provides tips and tricks to coming out and stresses baby steps. Episode 50 talks about the mistakes some of us make and how these things should be avoided. I pretty much made them all when coming out to my wife but surprisingly enough she is now okay with this side of me. I listen to the podcast now for advice on how to get her to participate more.

 

[BoyLuc]

It's strange reading these for a number of reasons to me...
1. Sounds so normalized to so many but not for me.
2. sounds like coming out LGBT.... which can be an every day event
Thankfully, I have the house to myself many weeks and even if I don't, I keep it hidden even though "he" knows, by accident, that I have some issues... Some are issues and some are DL.. It started as DL and then there were some strange issues with driving along time, getting up and instant unavoidable huge need.
So, yeah, "coupled" for a long time (18 years).

 

[DLatHome]

I had a vanilla wife and suppressed my DL. I never told her about it and only wore during the few times I was on the road for work during our relationship. She filed for divorce in November and it was final in February. I went through some depression and a period of learning to balance life alone every other week (I have my daughter every other week). It took from February to September before I realized I now have my own life and my own home where I don’t have to suppress who I am (at least every other week). That is when I found ADISC and then NorthShore. Three orders later and I feel happier and whole.