Almost caught

[RedPandaDL]

My wife doesn’t like it either and would prefer that I stop wearing. She is not mean about it, and would never threaten our marriage over it. She basically thinks it is weird and won’t talk about it. It does make me sad that she can’t be accepting of something that makes me happy.

 

[sbmccue]

I told my wife about 3 months after we started dating, and she made it quite clear that my infantilism had no place in our life together. I don't disagree with anyone's comment about relationships being built on something akin to compromise, but on this issue, compromise doesn't exist for us. I chose to go into the marriage and I honestly thought that "being happy" would help push my AB desires out of my life. Of course, that doesn't work. I've been living a very tenuous half-life for the past couple of decades, knowing that if my wife ever actually catches me wearing, that might be the end of our marriage.

As I've mentioned in other threads, folks with accepting SOs are quite lucky. My wife is a terrific woman, but she's not going to budge an inch on this issue. I'm not sure how many 'almost caught' episodes my heart can take, and it's probably best for my marriage that I don't try to find out.

 

[Subtlerustle]

I have some empathy for those spouses like mine that found out after marriage. They didn’t sign up for it but as I explained to my wife the reason for withholding was largely a self acceptance and shame issue. For me, even when a I told her two years into marriage it was a ham-handed abomination. *cringe*. I couldn’t even fully explain it because it came out so bad and was received with equal dismay. Years later and both of us witness to how this unfinished business undermined our relationship, we sorted it out. I am respectful that my kink is not her kink. But other than covering up and not flaunting (which I wouldn’t do anyway) I’m lucky not to have many limitations. If she changed her mind and suddenly forbid it I think it would make me a miserable partner and possibly erode our marriage to a breaking point. I did live in hiding and denial for some time and I will never be able to handle that again.
To her credit she’s adamant that this isn’t anything to be ashamed of and hates that abdl is maligned in our culture. These portrayals on TV make her furious to the point of wanting to write offending TV producers. (I’ve talked her out of this twice). In her case, secrecy and dishonesty was the hardest to get over. So while we may concentrate on our shame the SO may view withholding as a betrayal of trust. This is angle definitely worth consideration in my experience.

 

[chamberpot]

I'll say I have to put my wife in the tolerant category, she has know for years , even buys them for me at times, wants nothing to do with them and I cannot expect that I should demand her to try them, or let me parade around the house in just a diaper, as people we are all wire differently at the factory where they program us before kicking out into a varied world.

 

[BluMew]

Well I was almost caught by my wife that absolutely hates my DL side. She came up to me and started pinching all around my butt i think checking to see if I was wearing. She never does this. But she has caught me in the past which cause big arguments. Ugh. It really sucks not being able to be myself. Have Any of y’all got caught before by bei by touched.

Seth, sorry to hear. Truly, my heart goes out to you for the situation you're in. It's terrible that there is this trust issue between you and your wife - that she is, maybe, holding the marriage hostage, of sorts.

I'm not married. I'm gay. I'm much more a little/ab then a DL. But it took me around 10 years to not fight my little/ab feelings. Now that I'm comfortable with them I'd never let anyone try to push me back in the "closet" of sorts.

I'd gather that's a much more difficult question when you're already in a marriage. Do you concede to her demands to keep the relationship (and/or family) or do you fight back for your identity.

 

[Abdlchriscrinkle]

All of these stories remind me of the marriage I was once in. Almost the same shit, ultimatums were thrown in my face and rules were set, I chose to keep the marriage intact over the fetish, and I went thru 2 years of absolute misery, pretending there wasn't a big crinkly elephant in our lives, and trying to convince myself that I could get rid of all my abdl feelings for her. Talk about a period of self loathing... Of course it all ended in divorce and a painful breakup to which I'm still trying to recover from.

Seth. My advice to you is make yourself happy first, as it is what matters most to you. Life is short, and we can't rewind time to fix the problems of the past. A spouse should never be someone who tries to control someone by telling them it's their way or the divorce way. I don't think there is a bigger red flag than that. You pretty much know what the rest of your marriage is in for the next time you try to be yourself again, because you will.

I will never again put my happiness and who I am aside ever again for the next girl. I learned my lesson and will take the advice of many from here, to communicate properly and bring up the abdl subject early into the relationship.

Hindsight is always 20/20 right!

 

[plasticsounds]

Over the years on this site, I have discussed this subject a few times. Diapers, although something I will never be able to give up, will always be a part of my life. My wife knows, but does not like it. Periodically asks if I have given it up.

Here's the thing. My vanilla life is my actual life. I treat diapers as a spice, compulsory, but not the important part. I am sad that my wife may never participate, but it's not her thing. I must respect that. Otherwise I'm a creep. To be fair to her, there are many fetishes that I am not in to and honestly make me uncomfortable. If she had admitted to liking one of those, I probably would hesitate to be enthusiastic.

We've been together over 30 years, married for over 20. Seems a trivial thing to end a marriage over if everything else is working. The important thing is that I have grown to accept my diaper side. My own acceptance was the biggest hurdle. Now that I have come to terms with that, keeping it from my wife is no different than keeping it from the rest of the world.

I find that I take part in diapers as much I need to without hindrance. Sure there are a few scenarios that would be great to try with another, (Having someone change my diaper would be #1) I am comfortable with the level of happiness I currently have.

 

[Iluvbearskcuddleme]

Im sorry to hear that she's not accepting. Not by being touched but I did one time have an unexpected visitor (a friend of mine) and i was wearing and had a long dress on. (It hid it pretty well.) When I sat down it made a crinkly noise and they asked what it was. I had to make up a quick excuse and change convo fast. They didn't catch on luckily.

 

[NappyCouple1980]

I was caught by my now wife, she already knew (not that I knew that) so a lot of the shock and any anger had already dissipated.

She wanted to see me in my nappy, which I did. We talked, she accepted and joined in loads before our Son was born, only a few times since.

After reading all these posts, I am truly grateful for how my wife has been with me. I must make sure I tell her so too, it’s an easy thing to forget to share when you’re happy and all too easy to share when you’re not. I will tell her when she gets back from work.

 

[Lyric]

I was caught by my now wife, she already knew (not that I knew that) so a lot of the shock and any anger had already dissipated.

She wanted to see me in my nappy, which I did. We talked, she accepted and joined in loads before our Son was born, only a few times since.

After reading all these posts, I am truly grateful for how my wife has been with me. I must make sure I tell her so too, it’s an easy thing to forget to share when you’re happy and all too easy to share when you’re not. I will tell her when she gets back from work.

Yes, you really should tell her how grateful you are that she has been so accepting of your love of wearing diapers. I spent so many years hiding my diaper fetish from everyone and finally screwed up the courage to tell girls I was dating about my fetish. Eight years ago I met a girl who I am now engaged to and I thank her almost daily for accepting my weird and wonderful love of wearing diapers and rubber pants.

 

[MusicIsLife]

I had a buddys gf push down on my private part twice now to see if I was wearing a diaper (was a thin tena but was wet a little bit cause I just got home and stayed n chatted for a while) b4 I went to change ... yeah was pretty embarrassing I remember sitting like how i was and trying to replicate the incident and yeah you could tell..... and she got in there pretty deep with her hand.... wish people would mind there own business but what ever. nothing i can really do about it maybe a clamp??

 

[furry121]

I was caught by my now wife, she already knew (not that I knew that) so a lot of the shock and any anger had already dissipated.

She wanted to see me in my nappy, which I did. We talked, she accepted and joined in loads before our Son was born, only a few times since.

After reading all these posts, I am truly grateful for how my wife has been with me. I must make sure I tell her so too, it’s an easy thing to forget to share when you’re happy and all too easy to share when you’re not. I will tell her when she gets back from work.

, it’s an easy thing to forget to share when you’re happy and all too easy to share when you’re not.

I like that wisdom right there its so simple...