ABDL is "uncool and creepy", but age regression is cool and trendy?

[BabyTyrant]

Its pretty much just rebranded Kink Shaming

One section of a Community will at times try to defend themselves to "Normies" by saying "at least I'm not like those Sickos"

And its always two groups that overlap that this happens with

Like Babyfur/Diaperfurs get hate from (Regular) Furries, the ABDL vs Age Regressor is pretty much the same

Go just a little past what the 2nd group is willing to Accept and some try to Ostracize you in some miserable attempt to look more Reasonable to those that would hate us no matter what by acting like they have some kinda Superiority or something

 

[dprdypr]

Yeh it's kind of like trans- age except for most people it's not permanent. So they don't feel that age all the time only when regressed.

while i understand the argument the counter would be Trans isn't necessarily permanent, thats part of the right and/or center biological determinists argument with trans children with studies point out how many "grow out of it" or were pressured into it etc. or the numerous reports you can google about Trans individuals of any age having surgery regret/ de-transitioning.
because it too has become associated ideology and a fad in many circles, so while its permanent for some its arguably not for others

So they don't feel that age all the time only when regressed.

some do, some don't. as i pointed out at least a couple people i know "fake" acting like a adult to pass when it would be considered inappropriate to act the age they identify with.
ive seen similar closeted behaviour with one of my Trans friends when we worked together, until the culture started to change she cosplayed as Rob but anyone who knew her outside of work knew she was Elizabeth.
it was only later when work allowed it that she "came out" in the professional setting.
I wouldn't claim her closeted time as "don't feel that all the time" just as i wouldnt with anyone Trans-Age who is closeted in the same way.

dk I feel like using that term is going to get some people really mad.

i think it would too, personally i think its a shame and hypocritical of them however.
as i mention some groups push back and aren't as inclusive as they may claim.

people are so driven by idiology, I wish everyone could just be accepted for whatever they individual experience was

Exactly if its not hurting anyone why can't people identify how they want, why let some groups be the arbiters of whose experiences are valid or invalid.

without having to piggyback of another group for recognition or dissociate with others

this is where while it shouldn't matter as far as lobbying for rights and recognition goes there is strength in numbers.

look at T in LGBT for example many LG and especially B say that T is incompatible and erases identity of the others because it blurs lines etc.
im not saying Bi-erasure is good/bad or the TERFs are correct/incorrect etc., but it can be argue'd mainstream Trans piggybacked on another group for recognition.(despite being arguably less/not compatible)

so it really feels like they took advantage for themselves and now that they're making slight progress they "pulled the ladder up behind them" to prevent similarly marginalized groups from working towards the same goals.

as i say in my eyes I hold it in equal measure to mainstream Trans because personally i don't like the cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy required to accept one but not the other when their arguments are nearly identical.

to each their own, i say i if its not hurting anyone people should be able to identify how they want, but until people discuss these things more openly people can't decide whether its worth fighting for that group identity or not but the world would be a better place if all people were just more accepting regardless of group affiliation.

 

[BabyBluePup]

Yeh it's kind of like trans- age except for most people it's not permanent. So they don't feel that age all the time only when regressed. Idk I feel like using that term is going to get some people really mad.

But people are so driven by idiology, I wish everyone could just be accepted for whatever they individual experience was without having to piggyback of another group for recognition or dissociate with others

I mainly agree with this as long as their ideology isn't used to hurt people based on what they can't control. As in something they were born with.

 

[Magicbean]

This is a weird one for me because I am an age regressor and for me personally I don't consider it a kink, probably because it's entirely non sexual for me and it links in with my MH/trauma stuff in particular ways that mean it feels different to my other kinks. But just because that's how it is for me doesn't mean it works that way for anyone else.

I think I can get some of why there seems to be a distinction desired by some, despite how much over lap there is. I think it's because age re is non sexual and many assume kinks have to be, the non regressed age of so many in the "age re community" is really young and I think a lack of understanding about what AB/DL is. That doesn't mean I agree with it necessarily (let's just say I'm conflicted on the matter) but I think I get why it happens.

I relate it mostly to how I was with my trauma when I was younger. I hated anything that triggered me and wanted it all to go away. That's neither fair nor practical but it's easy to demonise the things that hurt or scare you, it takes time to grow and realise it's not a healthy way to live. I think this is kinda similar.

Personally, maybe because of my non regressed age and the fact I am kinky in other ways I feel far more accepted amongst the AB/DL crowd than the agere one. Maybe also because I'm in my 40s there wasn't really am agere community for me to be involved in growing up but I've been involved in kink since my early 20s so whilst I can't deal with somewhere like FetLife because I get constant skeevy messages etc I still felt welcomed at munches and clubs etc and usually pretty safe compared to a standard night club.

 

[SecretDiaperAgent]

Who was it?

 

[Dabsanddiapers]

I'm not sure exactly what you mean. But I do totally agree in conversation and listening properly to each other. Nothing I do is harmful to any one and my life style is absolutely important to me. Both as (rarely) a age regresser and a DL . I doubt I could have managed in life without my ABDL side.

Just a silly quote from a 80s punk horror movie. They said in the orginal post it was a "lifestyle". Just reminded me of that line from the return of the living dead.

 

[ShyBoo81]

Sniff* I feel personally hurt that we're being compared to BDSM, especially since I find BDSM freaky! (I wont judge anyone whos into that stuff though)

I assume that girl didnt wanna associate herself with ABDL cause of the sexual stigma. While I wont deny that wearing diapers can be a kink, IT DOESNT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE Some of us just wear them to feel cute and innocent

 

[ShyBoo81]

Also a lot of them are minors, who will probably migrate to fetish community once they're of age!

They're minors. I dont blame them for being afraid of fetish stuff cause I used to be like that too when I was under 18. Heck I still get scared of the more hardcore kinks like BDSM

 

[Beowulf]

I don’t think describing it as a “lifestyle” was an appropriate defense, rather I’d say it has nothing to do with BDSM. So clearly she had no idea what she was talking about and make her look like a fool.

 

[Saint]

We don’t need more labels, ABDL is bad enough without AR too! Labels make people pick from a list, like “are you AB or DL” - rather than adding a 3rd option AR, just do away with all 3 terms

</unpopular opinion>

 

[whip]

They're minors. I dont blame them for being afraid of fetish stuff cause I used to be like that too when I was under 18. Heck I still get scared of the more hardcore kinks like BDSM

There are two things here that you brought up:

- Being Under 18
Tik Tok is fully of teenager stuff. And I imagine that porn/adult content isn't allowed. I'm making this assumption based one two things, tik tok mostly appeals to impressionable teenagers, and there are the optics of it, it's got enough bad rap for being 'addictive'. The other being run by bytedance a Chinese company, Chinese culture/ governments don't like porn on the internet generally.

Bearing that in mind, maybe she didn't want to be black listed/banned if she is linked to the darker side of things so trying to stay away from the sexual/adult aspect of it (Has the world Adult in ABDL and Diaper lover, which she may not be).

- ABDL peeps aren't as Kinky as BDSM peeps
Whenever I go to meets with AB folkes there are usually two groups. Those that don't mind and are involved in other BDSM activities and those that are not. More innocent, like the regression aspect only. Hence her being insistent on the age regression element only. And not being into the 'freak show' the people think BDSM is. While there is an active community on Fetlife of age players/regresses. There is still a resistance to be on the platform as is mostly involves a lot of things that they find uncomfortable and unsuitable for them.


What's my Take?
ABDL is a large umbrella term and with it comes with it's prejudice, assumptions, misconceptions and a wide variety of things people don't think they are on it. This term was coined well in the 1980s I guess. Before the super information highway and social media has exploded in the 2010s where identity politics and self discovery seem to be on overdrive. This isn't a bad thing, I'd say for the most part it is good as you shouldn't try to pigeon hole yourself or others about what/who people are.


Generally I'd say what every term you pick yourself, say from a Adult Baby, to age regresser, to brat or kidult etc... They have some overlap but there is nuisence between them all. Look at electronic music. House and Garage are different, but are overlapped. Things have evolved over time. No one is an Exact pick of Deep house or Retro wave.

Ask yourself:

- Why?
Why do you do it, is it purely sexual. Or is for security reasons, to escape reality? Is it a way of bonding with your partner? Is it a self healing for past trama? Or do you just appeal to the fashion (which is seems like in this tik-tok case)?

- How?
Is is that dressing up? Acting out certain scenarios, spending one to one time with some one close?

- What does that make you?
People will pick a term, but does it fit all the above, probably not. If you ask some one else to recite what they think X means. They won't 100% match up with what you thought etc..

English language will continually evolve, and so will naming things. These days it's such at such a fast pace where old terms have changed meaning over time. And new ones crop in to replace others.