BoyLuc said:
I think you are missing something here. People develop into themselves over time. What might have been insignificant 20 years ago, may have matured to come out as significant. Growth is growth, Fair? It's unfair to say "I will never change" on day one of a relationship.
Yes you do change. That was not the point.
But to have a want and hide that from someone your sharing so much of your life is with IMHO is a bit unfair to both of you.
If you dont have the want now, the your not going to bring it up, but if you do say 10-20 or even 50 years down the road, even then you should talk about it.
This is NOT to say that one or another must DO anything with it or even be involved with it. It's mearly sharing you feeling with the other person.
I everyone was to share thier true feeling with one another when it happens, i think there would be much less divorce and even if you groe apart less bad feeling and more still being friends after a brake up. I have no issues talking to any my ex gf's, and whatever the reason we are not SO did not break the total relationship.
I someone is changing and growing apart, which happens, or has a life changing event (physical/mental/emotional/etc) that caused other changes in the relationship, if you talk about it when it comes up you can work through it and/or at least both understand the issues and still have a relationship despite it being of a lesser one, and not be so dam hostile as happens when people keep the feeling all bottled up and then one day there is this flood of 1000 things that are wrong and need to never talk to one another again.
Yes, i've had friends that kept things bottled up, and even friends that i just cant be friends with cause of thing that are not right (let got mad and then refuse to respond at all till i needed to have someone check on them as they live alone to see if they are ok).
But, if you discuss the wants/needs/feelings you for the most part will be better off than if you hide them away.
If 20 years down the road you stopped wanting ABDL you should talk about that too.
This is not an ABDL thing, this is just a general observation that if you trust someone (which a SO you should) you should talk to them about your fantisies wants needs dislikes, etc. You are in the relationship to share each others life after all.