Why tell parents?

*Mr. Marley* · 27-07-2008

Something I've been thinking about, is why so many tell their parents about their TB/DL side. I wanted to when I was younger and nobody knew I liked diapers, but then I talked to a sexologist about it on a youth-clinic, and I've never wanted to tell them since. I'm glad I didn't, cause parents doesn't need to know what cind of fetishes their children have. Think about it, I really doesn't want to know what cind of fetishes the people in my family have, and I don't see why they should know about mine. Many (everyone?) have a fetish they dont share with anyone besides their GF/BF, etc. And I think telling parents often leads to issues like parents not understanding, thinking their son/daughter need help, getting mad etc. If you are able to keep your secrets hidden, you should really keep it that way.

Valerye · 27-07-2008

Because they would not stop having sex on the couch and It made them stop.

Joking

I had to tell them.

mzkkbprmt · 27-07-2008

I told them 'cos I was caught. I don't know if I would have told them otherwise.

The normal reasons that someone tells there parents are:

Acceptance - whether it is because they want someone else to accept them 'cos they don't accept themselves or they have found self acceptance and want to move on to other people. Also, if they want to tell someone, people often either trust parents of feel that they should.

Space - It can be quite claustrophobic living with a secret with other people. And parents often look around/are generally nosey. If they get it off there chests people think that they can cope better with it when they don't need to hide it.

Capture - They, like me and Valerye Vincent have been caught. In that situation BS can't always get you out of it and you have to tell. This is especially bad though, because it means you aren't in control of telling them, they are.

I can't think of other reasons why people tell there parents off the top of my head, but these are the common ones.

snydead · 27-07-2008

Sometimes a person would like to be friends with there dad or there mother and the person dosen't have anyone to open up things to or tell them about everything. Sometimes a person needs a countabilitly partner (someone you can trust). Maybe that's why some people tell there parents, just to develop trust and commitment. Other than that people would also tell there parents before they get caught wearing diapers. Of course some parents might not like the thought of there child being a TB and some parents might not care. One thing to have in mind though the parents would still love there child, besides there the ones that saw you when you were just a baby.

Just a thought i had.

Fire2box · 27-07-2008

Darkfinn beat you to this.

Want to tell your parents? Think about this first.

Maztwo.0 · 28-07-2008

Being a child or a teenager, and knowing quite obviously that a portion of your life that defines who you are is different from almost everybody else that you know, can be extremely challenging. Growing up things change. You go to different schools. Your friends fade away. You move to a new house. But some things dont change and those things can give us comfort. One of those things that doesnt change is our parents. Our parents are a source of comfort for us. We look to them to explain our world and the things that we dont understand. We look to them to reassure us that we arent weird and that we arent hurting ourselves. We look to them for guidance. That is really why we want to tell them. It doesnt matter that it is sexual in nature. It doesnt matter that it is different from societal norms. Its just something about us that most of us at one point dont or didnt understand, or its something that we want to find comfort in.

diaperfans · 28-07-2008

Most people would like to share their secret because keeping secret is very uncomfortable. Moreover, if your parents accept this strange need, you do not have to hide the diaper, you can use it as wish and discard it into the rubbish bin.

Raccoon · 30-07-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzkkbprmt

I told them 'cos I was caught. I don't know if I would have told them otherwise.

The normal reasons that someone tells there parents are:

Acceptance -

Space -

Capture -

I can't think of other reasons why people tell there parents off the top of my head, but these are the common ones.

other possible reasons:

compulsive blurting behaviour (actual ocd type)

guilt tripping: You screwed me up!! Look how sick I am!! Look what you did to me!! I scar my wrists and it's all down to you, and I like diapers too because of you!!

genuine worry that one might be sick and in need of help/reassurance; parents may be the ones you turn to about the worrisome mole, the oddly shaped body-part, or the thoughts you worry may be odd or abnormal or unhealthy, your parents being understanding, helpful, and trustworthy - ie where the relationship is very healthy. (Aalready mentioned by Mz... under 'acceptance.')

where the relationship is very unhealthy - say, where a parent is over-protective, coddlesome, and generally infantilizes the offspring. (not necessarily literally, though I have read of cases of breast-feeding into grade school.)

You are "loud and proud" about your personal expression. Instead of being embarrassed, you go to the opposite extreme of being defiantly open: here's my quirk, I'm not ashamed; if you have a problem with it, that's your problem, not mine.

**123street** · 30-07-2008

a lot of people feel guilt because they are hiding something from their parents.

Commonly, though, people are caught and have no decent excuse.

Mousey · 30-07-2008

At the time that I told my parents I was caught (well, they found my 'stash' of things that were stored in my bedroom); though at the time I was already considering telling my Mum about it anyway. Fortunately, I had prepared for such a time and pointed her directly to the Understanding Infantilism website (a very useful resource) and everything did turn out fine. My parents now both know of my infantilism, and are extremely understanding - I think my Mum is slightly confused about why I would want to wear nappies, but she understands that it is not something specifically bad all the same.

Why would I choose to tell my parents? I have a huge tendency for guilt; even on things that I really shouldn't feel guilty for, and keeping such a large secret was one such thing. Stress; hiding a secret like infantilism is hard work, and results in a large amount of stress even from keeping up with what lies you have told to hide it.

I already knew that my parents would be understanding about this; my Mum is gay and has always been open with me about sex and things of that nature in the past. I knew that she would understand, even if my Dad would not. My Dad, well, he isn't at all strict and I knew that he wouldn't much care - to be honest, I wish he would care more about it, but there you go.

Whatever you do in life you don't want to purposefully alienate your parents. For anyone who isn't certain of their parents reaction it is a bad idea.

27-07-2008	#1 (permalink)
Mr. Marley Lurker Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Norway Posts: 56 Threads: 8 Reputation: 4	Why tell parents? Something I've been thinking about, is why so many tell their parents about their TB/DL side. I wanted to when I was younger and nobody knew I liked diapers, but then I talked to a sexologist about it on a youth-clinic, and I've never wanted to tell them since. I'm glad I didn't, cause parents doesn't need to know what cind of fetishes their children have. Think about it, I really doesn't want to know what cind of fetishes the people in my family have, and I don't see why they should know about mine. Many (everyone?) have a fetish they dont share with anyone besides their GF/BF, etc. And I think telling parents often leads to issues like parents not understanding, thinking their son/daughter need help, getting mad etc. If you are able to keep your secrets hidden, you should really keep it that way.

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27-07-2008	#2 (permalink)
Valerye Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Lafayette, Louisiana A little to the left of The high way. D: Age: 16 Posts: 867 Threads: 29 Gallery Uploads: 51 Wiki Edits: 14 Blog Entries: 25 Reputation: 4	Because they would not stop having sex on the couch and It made them stop. Joking I had to tell them.

27-07-2008	#3 (permalink)
mzkkbprmt Consonants FTW Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Birmingham, United Kingdom Age: 17 Posts: 902 Threads: 27 Gallery Uploads: 26 Blog Entries: 16	I told them 'cos I was caught. I don't know if I would have told them otherwise. The normal reasons that someone tells there parents are: Acceptance - whether it is because they want someone else to accept them 'cos they don't accept themselves or they have found self acceptance and want to move on to other people. Also, if they want to tell someone, people often either trust parents of feel that they should. Space - It can be quite claustrophobic living with a secret with other people. And parents often look around/are generally nosey. If they get it off there chests people think that they can cope better with it when they don't need to hide it. Capture - They, like me and Valerye Vincent have been caught. In that situation BS can't always get you out of it and you have to tell. This is especially bad though, because it means you aren't in control of telling them, they are. I can't think of other reasons why people tell there parents off the top of my head, but these are the common ones.

27-07-2008	#4 (permalink)
snydead Regular Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: USA, Wisconsin Age: 19 Posts: 354 Threads: 9 Gallery Uploads: 9 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 1	Sometimes a person would like to be friends with there dad or there mother and the person dosen't have anyone to open up things to or tell them about everything. Sometimes a person needs a countabilitly partner (someone you can trust). Maybe that's why some people tell there parents, just to develop trust and commitment. Other than that people would also tell there parents before they get caught wearing diapers. Of course some parents might not like the thought of there child being a TB and some parents might not care. One thing to have in mind though the parents would still love there child, besides there the ones that saw you when you were just a baby. Just a thought i had.

27-07-2008	#5 (permalink)
Fire2box Meh Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: California,USA Age: 21 Posts: 1,701 Threads: 20 Gallery Uploads: 8 Wiki Edits: 2 Blog Entries: 4	Darkfinn beat you to this. Want to tell your parents? Think about this first.

28-07-2008	#6 (permalink)
Maztwo.0 Lurker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Omaha, Nebraska Age: 20 Posts: 33 Threads: 2 Reputation: 3	Being a child or a teenager, and knowing quite obviously that a portion of your life that defines who you are is different from almost everybody else that you know, can be extremely challenging. Growing up things change. You go to different schools. Your friends fade away. You move to a new house. But some things dont change and those things can give us comfort. One of those things that doesnt change is our parents. Our parents are a source of comfort for us. We look to them to explain our world and the things that we dont understand. We look to them to reassure us that we arent weird and that we arent hurting ourselves. We look to them for guidance. That is really why we want to tell them. It doesnt matter that it is sexual in nature. It doesnt matter that it is different from societal norms. Its just something about us that most of us at one point dont or didnt understand, or its something that we want to find comfort in.

28-07-2008	#7 (permalink)
diaperfans Regular Join Date: May 2008 Location: Hong Kong, China Posts: 58 Threads: 2 Reputation: 3	Most people would like to share their secret because keeping secret is very uncomfortable. Moreover, if your parents accept this strange need, you do not have to hide the diaper, you can use it as wish and discard it into the rubbish bin.

30-07-2008	#9 (permalink)
123street Regular Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Narnia Posts: 112 Threads: 7 Reputation: 1	a lot of people feel guilt because they are hiding something from their parents. Commonly, though, people are caught and have no decent excuse.

30-07-2008	#10 (permalink)
Mousey Lurker Join Date: Jan 2008 Age: 18 Posts: 9 Threads: 1 Reputation: 0	At the time that I told my parents I was caught (well, they found my 'stash' of things that were stored in my bedroom); though at the time I was already considering telling my Mum about it anyway. Fortunately, I had prepared for such a time and pointed her directly to the Understanding Infantilism website (a very useful resource) and everything did turn out fine. My parents now both know of my infantilism, and are extremely understanding - I think my Mum is slightly confused about why I would want to wear nappies, but she understands that it is not something specifically bad all the same. Why would I choose to tell my parents? I have a huge tendency for guilt; even on things that I really shouldn't feel guilty for, and keeping such a large secret was one such thing. Stress; hiding a secret like infantilism is hard work, and results in a large amount of stress even from keeping up with what lies you have told to hide it. I already knew that my parents would be understanding about this; my Mum is gay and has always been open with me about sex and things of that nature in the past. I knew that she would understand, even if my Dad would not. My Dad, well, he isn't at all strict and I knew that he wouldn't much care - to be honest, I wish he would care more about it, but there you go. Whatever you do in life you don't want to purposefully alienate your parents. For anyone who isn't certain of their parents reaction it is a bad idea.