Mini Essay : Why do people find it so difficult to accept *b/dlism

[mzkkbprmt]

Warning: This is a long post with (I believe) quite a large amount of detail. If you intend to read it please take your time over it as opposed to skimming through in case you miss something.


We tend to know from a young age that having a fetish will get us ridicule, even before knowing we have one, or even what one is. We don’t even need to be told, we just know. It comes to us instinctively that telling somebody else won’t work out in the way we would like it too. But why does it get such a reaction? Furthermore, I’ve heard of people who could understand some fetishes but baulk at even the very idea of infantilism. So not only why do fetishes get this reaction, but also why does infantilism get it so strongly?

A major reason for people to react against something (and fetishes are part of this) is difference. As human beings we are programmed to react against things which are different from ourselves. It is part of a survival mechanism coming from us being a social creature. By trusting others that are similar and repelling those that are different, we believe, usually only at the subconscious level, that we bring about our survival, and thus survival of our genes by getting rid of those who different. Human history is littered with terrible events based on this drive to get rid of difference.

How somebody interprets difference is based on three things; Difference relative to themselves, difference relative to the majority and difference relative to upbringing. Now lets take a fetish, any will do. The majority of people don’t have one, and it is very unlikely for one person to have the particular one in question. Odds on that this fetish scores difference relative to them and difference relative to the majority when a person finds out about it. Even with the most liberal upbringings fetishes probably weren’t discussed (due to taboos on discussing sex) and in a conservative family they would likely be shunned as wrong or even morally evil, if the topic ever came up. Hence it is also likely that difference relative to their upbringing. Hence a person will dislike the fact somebody has fetish (if not the person themselves) because it is different.

Also, the single most important thing to a species as mentioned above is survival, by the spreading of its genes. The most efficient manner of doing this is simple heterosexual sex. Not unsurprisingly, movement away from this is interpreted, sometimes correctly, as reducing the production of babies. Hence actions that do this are considered bad because they are seen as damaging to the survival of the species. Even if a fetish is used as part of sexual intercourse it is seen as a movement away from this ‘simple’ sex and so is seen as wrong for this reason as well.

With this it is quite easy to show that a fetish will be disapproved of. However, the main purpose of this essay is to show what about infantilism in particular. Why is it that somebody who could here about some fetishes and not even blink would be repulsed by infantilism?

Well a pretty obvious one is diapers. The taboo surrounding diapers in modern, especially western, society is vast. One of the biggest problems is usage. Going to the toilet is not a popular subject at the best of times, and is unlikely to come up unless you are under the age of about 10 (varies with personality), and thus find it both comic and slightly risqué. The simple purpose of diapers makes them an uncomfortable topic. Now add in the fact that the usage is unhygienic, and people unsurprisingly find it disgusting. There are members of our community that are uncomfortable with using diapers, particularly for #2. We shouldn’t expect people outside of our community to be comfortable with it.

Also, a strong feature of western culture is “growing up”. One of the things I was told off most for since the age of 7 was being childish. With this attitude of growing up being so important, people who actively go against it aren’t going to be popular. In terms of being different, *B regression is going against one of the biggest features of a western upbringing. Even for a dl, wearing diapers themselves is seen as babyish. So infantilism goes against a wide spread part of our culture.

Exposure increases the willingness of an outsider to accept something. This is another area that infantilism lucks out on. In a thread on this forum we got a guess at a value of between 1/1 000 and 1/10 000 of one person at random being an infantilist. Based on reading this thread, I personally would expect the value to be between 1/3 000 and 1/5 000. But even if we take it as 1 in 3000 people are infantilists it is still very rare. With that probability, the chance of 2 people being infantilists in a school of 1000 would be around a 1/25 chance. With those chances, we are unlikely to come across other infantilists without actively searching with the internet. The chances of somebody coming across an infantilist at random without looking for them are ludicrously small.

Even if somebody is actively researching infantilism, the coverage is bad. When my parents found out, my Dad, Googler extraordinaire, could not find a single website about infantilism. Another big problem with the lack of coverage is understanding. People tend to be frightened of that which they don't understand, and because they aren't infantilists and the coverage is so bad, infantilism is something that people don't understand, even if it is explained well to them.

What exposure there is doesn’t help. If a non infantilist knew what you were talking about at all, they probably think of Jerry Springer or the CSI episode. Neither of these did anything to explain it or portrayed it in a good light. Or say somebody hears about it and does some research. It requires digging to find sites like our forum which actually care and are sensible or even better the sites that make some effort to explain what it is. There are far more sights which are crotch shots from fat 50 year olds or even worse, things like d**k*r. So not only is exposure limited, that which is there is pretty bad.

If I wanted, I could probably find more reasons why members of the general public find fetishes hard to accept and infantilism in particular. However, even without this multitude of other reasons, I believe I have shown why people do find it so difficult to accept. If you want to tell somebody, remember how they are going to see it, both consciously and subconsciously, and preferably have some of the better websites at hand so that they don’t do there own research.



Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or related professional and I have not studied psychology. What elements of psychology come from my own understandings and beliefs. If there are any scientific inaccuracies because of this could somebody of more knowledge in these fields point them out to me.

Also note that I am open to any additions, improvements or other forms of constructive criticism

[Lukie]

I think I've covered a lot of the whole acceptance issue in this post I just made in another thread.

Originally Posted by mzkkbprmt

Even if somebody is actively researching infantilism, the coverage is bad. When my parents found out, my Dad, Googler extraordinaire, could not find a single website about infantilism. Another big problem with the lack of coverage is understanding. People tend to be frightened of that which they don't understand, and because they aren't infantilists and the coverage is so bad, infantilism is something that people don't understand, even if it is explained well to them.

If he's a Googler Extraordinaire, then I'm the omniscient.

Google "infantilism" and within the first 6 results you get:
Paraphilic Infantilism
Understanding Infantilism

*giggles wildly*

[Estius]

Originally Posted by mzkkbprmt

A major reason for people to react against something (and fetishes are part of this) is difference. As human beings we are programmed to react against things which are different from ourselves. It is part of a survival mechanism coming from us being a social creature. By trusting others that are similar and repelling those that are different, we believe, usually only at the subconscious level, that we bring about our survival, and thus survival of our genes by getting rid of those who different. Human history is littered with terrible events based on this drive to get rid of difference.

Precisely! That's exactly what I thought was why most people react to infantilism in a negative way. You took the words right out of my mouth!

[mzkkbprmt]

Originally Posted by Lukie

I think I've covered a lot of the whole acceptance issue in this post I just made in another thread.

Sorry about that. Can I just be allowed to point out that I posted this before the thread you posted in was even started.

[Babymullet Ver 9.8]

Honestly, I think we overplay the negative aspects of telling people in our community. In my times here, and elsewhere, I have seen many people tell friends, family, partners, you name it. The vast majority of people have had a positive telling, and have gone on to tell other people. I myself have lost count of how many people I told about my lil' side, all of them where good and positive.

Now that doesn't mean their isn't a negative response, some people do get them but they seem to be in the minority. Perhaps my perspective on the whole thing is skewed, but meh, I'm only human.

[babysage]

Originally Posted by Lukie

I think I've covered a lot of the whole acceptance issue in this post I just made in another thread.



If he's a Googler Extraordinaire, then I'm the omniscient.

Google "infantilism" and within the first 6 results you get:
Paraphilic Infantilism
Understanding Infantilism

*giggles wildly*

Sure IF you come out to your parent. If your parent find out, This would be what i would google.



You can never take back a first impression.
I highlighted one on purpose.

(sorry for the giant post.)

[Azdf]

Please remember that the framework of society, while a framework, is a very corroded and clumsily built one.

The fact that most people do not know what infantilism is would probably be a good reason why we have such a negative reputation (no help from sites such as D**k*r and "articles" with little research whatsoever)

Of course, the best cure for all of this is to simply tell the people who can react in a logical and/or positive way to it, everyone else can simply go on with their "normal" lives.

[Jeremiah]

For those that have had positive conversations on *B/DL topics, I am happy for you. This is not always the case. My mother has strong opinions and preconceived notions. She does not accept anything contrary to her personal opinion. To this day, Dad and I have not been able to convince her that the internet can be safe to have in her home. She hates the idea of an adult having to wear diapers. How easy would it be to convince her that voluntary diaper use is acceptable? I never plan to find out.