So. Just told my Mother I'm a TB...

[charliebonce]

Did NOT go well.

First, a little background. Until 3 or so months ago, I had given up *Bism and all other kinds of ageplay, because my mother had seen the bottle and formula I bought and gotten annoyed. I was about 14 when I stopped. But I just couldn't keep away, and didn't see why I should.

I only 'regress' at night-time. For me, that means a hot bottle of milk, a G-rated film/cartoon, and a binky/dummy. Actually, after drinking the milk, I get very sleepy. So most nights I fell asleep with the 'baby' objects around me. I'm sure my mother noticed that.

Next, I am not exactly the most sensible person. I mostly just leave my stuff out until I realise that there is an immediate danger of her finding the stuff. So a few times I have been caught. Here is a summary:

#1: 'What knickers are these?' (the waistband of my pjs slipped down)
'Mum! Get off! They're...they're old...'
'They look like nappies! *tug*'
'Okay, look...they're those tena things...for my periods...they're just really bad *blush*'

#2: 'So, I found a bottle in your bed. What was that doing there?'
'Oh, um...I don't know...'
'I saw one in the rubbish bin the other day too...'
'Well, I was throwing it away, yeah...it was starting to smell...'
'So I can through this away? Because it looks new...'
'Sure. I mean, I'm not using it haha...'

#3: 'What's that dummy doing there??!' (it was on the desk, I didn't expect her to come back so soon)
'Um I just carried it downstairs...'
'Come on, let's throw it away,'
'Okay, I guess...'

I should point out that there had also been numerous 'why is this dummy here' incidents where she didn't do anything.

So, anyway, after she threw my things away I was kinda narked and stand-offish with her, to the point of rudeness. Not that I was offensive, just very sullen. She got ever so upset about it and kept asking what she'd done wrong, grasping at straws (I think she was just trying to avoid asking about TBism) and crying. So I said she shouldn't worry, not her fault, etc etc.

Tonight I snuggled up in bed with her, and I was obviously preoccupied. And she asked me what was the matter...and I just asked 'why did you take away my baby stuff?' Long story short, she doesn't think it's 'right' for a 15-year-old girl to like being a baby, EVER. I tried to explain but she just kept saying it felt 'wrong' to her, and she got pretty angry. She said 'do you think this is normal? that a TEENAGER should be behaving like a BABY?' And I replied 'well, not exactly, but there are people like me...on the internet...' Of course, this sparked 'you've been talking to WEIRDOS on there, haven't you!' and 'I might not let you get on there again!'

Next she told me she must have done something wrong to make me that way. And when I explained that actually, getting back into *Bism/ageplay was what had brought me out of my depression, she acted like I was going to blackmail her: 'unless I let you be a baby, you won't do any work, right?!'

She wants me to go see a therapist and talk about it with our family counsellor. God, I just feel hollow right now. Any advice on what to say to counsellor/therapist about the issue?

[Error404]

Go see a therapist, only make sure your mom goes too. If you can prove without a doubt that what you are doing is harming no one and does not affect your personal or school life, there's nothing the therapist can do unless you get a moron who's just in it for the money, and you'll know very quickly if they are.

Best of luck.

E404~

[MessyMan]

My Mom found out by accident and when I saw a psychologist a few years later for a learning assessment she asked a few questions about diapers and said she did not know a lot about diaper fetishes (didn't use those words) and had only heard of one other case involving an older man. But at the time I had not worn in months. Unless your Mom picks a shrink that is anti fetish or you are actually letting diapers become a negative thing I doubt you have anything to worry about.

And for anyone thinking of telling their parents voluntarily the best case scenario is that they will say keep it private and never talk about it again. There is really no benefit and you risk stuff like being sent to councilors and losing privacy.

[diaperz]

I told my parents about my desires when I was 12... Oh that naive child I was! The reaction was so mixed... I ended up going to a psychiatrist but I think I only said about one or two sentences and that was the last of it.

While things might seem quite crappy, and believe me... your situation isn't one I would want to be in (again); you do have an advantage.

Luckily for you, you are at an age where you can actually form your own rational thoughts. You can articulate well why regression is actually good rather then it being a bad thing. Of course you won't really be able to articulate this to your mother as she seems dead set against it... but if you go to a psychiatrist - and if they're neutral or AB friendly, you might have a chance to convince them that this is just one part of you that offers a healthy stress relief.

Sure are fixation for diapers and baby products are weird... we can give your mother that one. But in all reality what is normal? We each have our own secrets and desires... the idea that just because something is different, or weird, is completely absurd to dismiss its validity.

My advice is to talk to the psychiatrist. Build your argument and offer some research to support it. Keep your composure and show how it affects your life in the positive aspects where as the negative side stems only from your mothers fierce disapproval.

You'll probably never be at a state where you can openly even have a plushie around her... but at least you might be in a place where she can look the other way to your AB side.

I hope things go well for you, it really does suck to have to deal with this though... but stay strong and you should come out (maybe even slightly) victorious!

[BabyYuri]

WOW! First off you sound like you need a hug sweety *hugs*. Ok well the good side is you don't have to carry the weight of hiding it anymore. Yet now you have to deal with this therapist issue.

Ok Well I once went to a therapist for my Bism as well, if it's anything like mine he/she is gonna want to talk with your parents in the room. What I did was request if they could leave and he told my parents to wait outside. Then I simply told him that it was a way to coup with stress and something I love to do "occasionally." Then he said I was completely normal and he felt like I had a good head on my shoulders and that he felt it was mom that needed help. After my parents were called in and I was to sit outside. A few minuted later my parent came out and we left and nver went back. My parents and I never mentioned it again and I had to get rid of the few baby items I had. End of story

I think you can just be kinda upfront but make it seem not to serious kinda like what I said but with a chill tone.

Don't be so nervous for all you know the therapist may tell your mom that this is ok and normal. Try to be relaxed and in the right state of mind not all "OMG why?"

If you can keep us updated I hope this helps if you have specific question you can pm me sweety ok. *HUGGLES*

[charliebonce]

Firstly: Thank you all for the kind words and advice :3

Originally Posted by MessyMan

And for anyone thinking of telling their parents voluntarily the best case scenario is that they will say keep it private and never talk about it again. There is really no benefit and you risk stuff like being sent to councilors and losing privacy.

After I told her, I practically begged her to just 'forget it' and then that I would 'never do it again'. But I was desperate.

Originally Posted by diaperz

You'll probably never be at a state where you can openly even have a plushie around her... but at least you might be in a place where she can look the other way to your AB side.

She doesn't mind me having plushies, or being 'cuddly'...it's just the 'juvenile' behaviour she has a problem with (i.e. she doesn't think I should play on swings or use crayons).

I will probably be making some kind of list/letter to organise my thoughts about it, why it's not harming anyone etc. But won't send it: just write it up so I can think more clearly.
---
@Baby Yuri: Eee! Hugs! *snuggle-hugg!* Thank you very much, I may just PM you when I get more on the situation (it's night time here ATM).

Hmm...this is good advice, I hope my therapist is not an 'anti'-*bism kind of person :/ But I suspect that most of them can appreciate that it's harmless.

And I won't be all 'OMG' lol, I've calmed down a bit now, still very shaken, but not the gibbering wreck I was even an hour ago.

[Raccoon]

Sorry things went badly, especially seeing your baby stuff chucked. That must have hurt on many levels. I disapprove of tugging a 15 yo's underthings to see what they were... Good thinking on the 'excuse.' Though if and when you do see a professional,

actually, getting back into *Bism/ageplay was what had brought me out of my depression

would be the thing to say. Just watch your spelling: *Bism, not *bDsm

I only 'regress' at night-time. For me, that means a hot bottle of milk, a G-rated film/cartoon, and a binky/dummy. Actually, after drinking the milk, I get very sleepy.

This is not intrusive on your life, is discrete, and involves no exhibitionism, no wanting to be padded 24/7 or in public, doesn't thrust it under anyone else's noses, you didn't mention voluntary incon as an objective... So it is cheaper and less risky than pills, and it's proven that it works. A good professional should approve. If not, shop around for a different professional. Have them read ADISC for background, even join: we have members who aren't into it, but know someone who is and are looking for information...

[SlightPhobia]

My stomach just crawls for you, hon. I really hope things work out for the best.

[charliebonce]

Originally Posted by Raccoon

Sorry things went badly, especially seeing your baby stuff chucked. That must have hurt on many levels. I disapprove of tugging a 15 yo's underthings to see what they were... Good thinking on the 'excuse.'

Thankees, and I will be sure to bear your advice in mind :p

In srsmode, yeah, it hurt a lot. Because of all the interaction earlier (i.e. asking me if I had recently bought the bottle, repeated asking about the dummy) I thought maybe she was just waiting for me to tell her...why else, I told myself, would she keep drawing attention to it? Oh, how silly I was.

Originally Posted by Raccoon

...you didn't mention voluntary incon as an objective...

It's not...I like the feel of diapers, and I'll admit there's something thrilling about 'going' while not on the toilet, but I don't really aim for it. I've done it before, but it's not really part of my regression at all.


Also: I think maybe I've made my mother into a bit of an ogre. She's not. She's a very sweet woman and we have a very close relationship...but she's uneducated and a little close-minded. Out of context, the 'grabbing my undies' thing seems very odd, but it made sense at the time...the waistband was way up, like above my hip, so there was no chance of exposure. I dunno, maybe that *is* a bit weird.

*Thanks SlightPhobia...much appreciated :3 xx

[Laram]

Originally Posted by diaperz

But in all reality what is normal?

"Normal Is Everyone Being The Same"

"But What About Individuality?"

"Well, Individuality Is Fine, As Long As We All Do It Together."

But, For Advice:

All The Real Advice Has Been Given. I Passed My Mum A Letter To Tell Her, She, Uh, Took It Well... But I Was Prepared To Not Leave My Room For The Next Two Days If She Didn't. It Went Bad For You, For That I'm Sorry, Like I Said, I'd Just Live In My Room For Days, Leaving Only When I Really Have To, But That Solves Nothing, Right? Try Talking To Her Again, While At The Therapist, But Say It TO The Therapist, Not Her, Get What I Mean?

Seeing A Therapist Isn't That Bad.. My Tactic For Anything Like That Is To Sit There And Say Nothing. Just Stare Blankly At 'em Every-so-often, They Give Up, In The End.. Or Find Something I Can't Not Talk About, But, That's Not The Best Tactic In The World, Is It?

All I Can Really Say, Is Good Luck.