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23-02-2008
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#11 (permalink) |
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VIP
Historical Donor
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Chromos,
I think it's pretty known across the board that, though I love to read and love to read stories, I'm not a very big fan of things that are related to this "lifestyle" that similarly connects us all. For some reason, reading stories that have to do with infantilism or diapers as a major theme just make me cringe. Yours, however, is a pleasant exception. There is a quality to your story that is not elsewhere, and that quality comes from its lack of focus on infantilism. What you're telling is the story of a boy struggling with social and identity issues caused by his enuresis, and likely struggling with its acceptance. I like that there is nothing sexual or nothing regression-related with the theme; I like that I am reading a solid tale as opposed to just an excuse to read about people wearing diapers! Your tone is simple and at the same time, very unique -- I can relate to the young characters very well, and I have not a problem at all appreciating them as solid, believable creations! Maybe it's that this story is part of you; maybe it's just because you're quite a good, aspiring writer! Your dialogue is natural and easy to understand, and as you learn more and develop, you're going to really put out some great stuff! If there's anything I can offer as creative criticism, be wary of occasional spelling mistakes and accidental typos. There are a few there, and they will always be there no matter how hard you try! Great job so far, mate! Keep it up! |
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23-02-2008
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#12 (permalink) | |
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Bride of Hypnotoad
Historical Donor
Staff Member 
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Quote:
And I didn't know that about the dashes... ye learn something new every day. 
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24-02-2008
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#15 (permalink) | |
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Regular
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Quote:
Rance: You've got it! That is what this story is about! Thanks for the comments, I always enjoy reading your stuff! |
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25-02-2008
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#17 (permalink) |
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Regular
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Part 2
This one is kinda short, but it's all I have time for today.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Many thoughts rushed through my head- I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there looking really humiliated, and surprised. When I realized that my cousins weren't going to say anything, I decided to speak. "Well.. I guess the cat is out of the bag," I said nervously, still blushing a shade of dark maroon. I looked from Chad to Kristen, and neither would say anything. I scooted Chad off of my lap, and then pulled my pajamas back up, concealing my pullups from view. Maybe by some miracle, they would just drop it.. "You- wet the bed too?" Chad asked me surprised. "Well duh! Why else would he be wearing them?" Kristen said smartly. "Yeah, I do..." I said embarassed, stating the obvious. "How long have you wet?" Kristen asked me, curiously. "My whole life," I said, nearly in tears. "I have a problem..." "Well, it's no big deal. I've wet on and off my whole life. Chad wets every night," Kristen said to me, attempting to comfort me. "Yeah, but your 7, and he's 6.. I'm 9," I said, trying not to cry. "I'm too old to be peeing the bed, and wearing pullups." "Don't be so hard on yourself, especially if you have a problem. We know what's it like. To be honest, I'm glad we're not alone in this," Kristen said comfortingly, with a smile. "Yeah, it's no big deal," Chad said, before turning back towards the TV. "So what kind do you wear?" Kristen asked me. "Depends pullups," I told her, still blushing. "I used to wear those, but they leak sometimes, so I started wearing Attends briefs," she said. "They are diapers, but at least they keep my bed dry." "Yeah..." I said, not sure what else to say. "These have leaked on me before, but not too often though." "You should try my Attends. They're a lot better," she said. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's just watch cartoons, okay?" I said, trying to avoid any further questions. "Oh- okay then," she said, looking a bit hurt. We watched TV for another ten minutes or so, when I heard a knock at the door. We all turned around, as my Aunt stepped into the room, her nightgown billowing behind her as she walked in. "Is everyone dressed for bed?" she asked. "Yes," Kristen and Chad said together. "What about you, Brandon?" she asked me, and I blushed. "Uh- yeah," I said. "Good," she said. "It's time for you all to get to sleep now." "Okay," Chad said, jumping up. "Ah, do we have to?" Kristen complained. "Yes, you do. You too, Brandon," she said. Chad jumped into his bed on the bottom bunk, and Kristen climbed the wooden latter into the top bunk. It was then it hit me that I didn't have a bed to sleep in. "Uh, where do I sleep?" I asked. "I have an air mattress I'll pull in here for you," she said. "Wait here a minute, and I'll go get it." With that, she left the room. I stood there, feeling a mixed variety of feelings. On the one hand, I was glad they knew, cause now I didn't need to hide it anymore. On the other hand, I was very embarrassed, and wished they wouldn't have found out. It really made me wonder how many other kids my age there were out there, dealing with this same scenario right now... Somehow I doubted there were any. I felt alone, and I found it hard to believe there was anyone else going through this. "Okay," my Aunt said, dragging an air mattress, with a light blue sheet, through the door sideways. I noticed she had a matching blanket draped over her other arm. She tugged it to the center of the room, and then plopped it down. She shook the blanket out, and let it fall slowly down onto the surface of the mattress. "I'll get you some pillows." she said, before leaving the room again. I layed on the top of the mattress, and stared at the ceiling, as I waited for her to return. I had a bunch of thoughts going through my head, and I just wanted them to go away. This was so embarrassing! I really hoped I wouldn't pee tonight, but I knew the odds of that, were pretty slim. My Aunt returned several minutes later, with two thick pillows, that she slid under my head. She gave my feet a tickle, which made me laugh, and I quickly slid under the blanket, to avoid any more tickling. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then did the same to Kristen and Chad. "Good night, you three," she said, and nearly at the same time, we all told her the same. I don't when they went to sleep, but I was feeling pretty tired. I turned onto my side, closed my eyes, and before I knew it, I was asleep. Flying. I was flying high through the sky. Over mountains, and trees, and then over a dark valley that's bottom I could not see. I felt peaceful, like nothing could hurt me, as I swept over a rolling blue sea, and passed over a beautiful meadow. But what was that sound? It was roaring- not an animal type of roar, more like a rolling, continous whooshing, that grew louder and louder, as I passed further and further into the meadow. I saw a wide stream up ahead, and I steered towards it. As I flew further, the stream opened up into a rough river, and I started to feel very cold. The water must be freezing for me to be feeling cold from this high. But wait, something isn't right.. Why am I going lower? "No, go up! UP!" I shouted, as I began to float lower and lower, towards the river. "No, I don't want to go swimming, I want to go up!" But my requests were futile, as I landed into the stream with a splash, and began to float downstream. It was freezing, and I wanted out the monet I struck the water. I tried to swim to shore, but my arms were sluggish, weak, and I couldn't bring myself to do a simple breast stroke. Further, and further down the stream I went, the farther I floated, the louder and louder that roaring sound became. The water became rougher, and I kept dipping under the water. It was becoming harder to keep myself up, and I was shivering from the cold of the water. The water suddenly became rougher, as I was washed through rapids, and over rocks. The roaring sound was not deafening, and it was very scary. I didn't want to know what the source of the sound was. Again, I tried to paddle away, but I was paralyzed from a combination of fear, and cold. What am I doing in here? I asked myself, as I bobbed up and down in the freezing cold water. This peaceful, serene journey had turned into terror, and I wanted to go back to that serene feeling I had when I was flying. The roaring was now all I could here, and I looked ahead, and saw that the river suddenly came to an end. I realized the water was moving faster, and that there a drop-off up ahead. A waterfall, and I was powerless to steer away from it. I was blinded by a mist of water, and I closed my eyes. This was the end, I was about to die. I felt myself falling, falling down into the abyss, and I just had to peek my eyes open to see where I was falling. Below me, I saw nothing but black, raging water, swirling around and around, in a whirlpool of death. I screamed loudly, and flapped my arms, but nothing I did would slow my decent. I was terrified. That whirlpool was going to suck me up, and that would be the end of me. I closed my eyes again, and felt myself hit water. I was spinning out of control, getting sucked under the water, as I spun around and around in the whirlpool of death. I felt myself fading, as I fell through the bottom.. I opened my eyes. I was not in a whirlpool, but laying on an air mattress, in my cousin's room. It was just a dream, but I really did feel cold. I became aware of a tingling sensation around my crouch, and I threw the covers back, and realized I was peeing. I felt wetness on my hand, and knew that my pullup had leaked, so I quickly stopped peeing. I sat up, and threw my covers back, and saw a fairly large wet spot under me. I sat up, sweating, and cold. That dream litterally scared the piss out of me. Maybe I should have used the bathroom before I went to bed. I scooted out of bed, and stood up. My pullup was sagging down pretty far, and I grabbed the bottom of it, and held it up, because I felt as though it would rip if I didn't. My butt felt wet, as did the front of my pajamas. Great, just what I needed. This was truly embarrassing.. Here I was, 9 years old, and standing here in a leaking pullup. I grabbed my bag, and waddled to the bathroom, and finished peeing in the toilet. I stripped off my wet Pjs, and threw them in the clothes hamper. I then removed my soaked pullup, and threw it in the trash, before pulling a new one out of my bag. I quickly slipped it on, and then pulled another pair of Thomas the Train pajama bottoms out of my bag, and slipped them up my legs, and over the pullup. I knew my bed had a wet spot, so I grabbed a towel from the cabinet over the toilet, and made my way back to bed. Once I was back in their room, I threw the towel over the wet spot on the mattress, and then climbed back into bed. I was still shaken up from the dream, and realized that the blanket was also a bit wet, but I didn't care. I turned onto my side, and felt really naughty for getting the mattress wet. I closed my eyes, but I couldn't stop hot tears from rolling down my cheeks. I felt like such a baby, in my pullup, laying on a towel to conceal my wet bed. I let out a few sobs, and wondered if I was going to have another bad dream that led to an accident. I hoped I didn't, because I would be in enough trouble in the morning for getting the bed wet, and I sure as hell was embarrassed enough as it was. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To be continued.... |
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