diaper disiplinary school(please read)

[gamebaby]

This is basicly my last chance trying to make a story and actualy get someone to tell me its good. So if its not good Please coment so i know people may have read it. P.s i tryed to make it so its all spelled right so injoy.(hopefuly)

Diaper disciplinary school

Intro
I didn’t see it coming till it happened. I was a brat but this time around they didn’t want me here. So they send me to military camp? No. Community service? Not that either. They send me to the place where you live child hood over again in 4 years. Reborn discipline school. Where my life was going change for the next 4 years.


Chapter one Born once again.

I sit there in the car just wondering where they could possibly be taking me. I didn’t bring anything with me at all. I look out the window to see that we are still on the 10 mile road with a fence on the side that was 15 feet high and it was getting closer to the target location. I just continue to sit there the whole way we go still having no idea where we where going. But than my mom says,“ Look honey where here.” She drives up to the front of the building and parked in the top of the circle front. My dad looks at me and gives me an evil grin. “I hope you will like it here son”, he just says as I walk out of the car.

Suddenly the door to the car shuts and the car just zooms by me like a rocket. “Hey come back!!”, I shout to the car. It was too late. I watched as the car disappeared into the road that looked to lased forever. It actually seemed like they want to keep people in here. “So now what. Am I in some sort of military camp?”, I think as I walk to the door. I then realized there was a sigh right next to the door. It said, “Reborn Disciplinary School where child hood will turn your child around….” Before I could read more a man in red and blue pants, and looked like a joke, opened the front door and turned to me.

He looked way taller than me and could kill me if he wanted to. Looks about 32 maybe. He walked toward me and than looked around. “Um where you the one we are expecting?”, he asked me. I shrugged. I didn’t even know I was coming. He than noticed the tire tracks and the dirt on me from when my parents rode of at 75 miles per hour.
“Well than my boy I guess you are the one we was expecting aren’t you Genta?”
That took me by shock. I know my parents left me here but I didn’t know they wouldn’t come back. Plus they set it all up too.

“How do you know me?” I asked in disbelief. He just looked at me with a strange look in his eyes like I was crazy. “Didn’t you know? Your staying here for the next 4 years.”, he explained. I than was shocked even more. I have no idea where this place was ,and what it is for that matter, and im staying here?! He then tried calming me down and said,“ Don’t worry my boy we will take good care of you so don’t wory about a thing.” I just sighed at the sight of where I was. “Well there is no use talking outside it there sir?” I asked him. He looked back at me and said ,“No my boy no there isn’t a reason at all.”

We than walked inside and it was a big surprise for sure. In the main room was a really fancy staircase and a desk in front of it. It sort of looked like a house realy. He must make a lot for keeping kids in here. As we walked up I noticed the person on the desk. She looked to be about 23 and really hot if you ask me. She was wearing a nurse gowned but not for adults or teens. The nurse looked up at me and smiled. “Gee kids get stuck here easy hu MR born?”, the secretary told him. “O I’m quite sure they do I mean we got 300 in this one and another 500 in the other building somewhere in Iowa.” He then walked me to the hall on the right and in to this building that look like a…….. nursery. As we walked down the hall more I noticed there is a lazed fence. He typed in the code and the door opened. “Don’t want kids escaping now do we? Well in your case baby.” He than closed the door and it locked behind me.

As I looked around I noticed the back round sort of childish, babyish even. It was filled with stuff like baby diapers my size toys for about 2 year olds and stuffed animals. The room had a bunch of shapes decoration on the walls and I saw the ceiling was printed with building blocks. I continued to descend through the room till a women walked in. She than looked at me and said, “Aww the newborn has arrived”. I scratched my head and said, “who is that?”. She then laughed and coed me as you would a baby. “This is realy weird” ,I thought. She than walked toward me but with something I couldn’t see. Was it something for me? Than a sharp pain came to my arm and was starting to lose conscious. As I was growing out I blankly saw myself being striped and the rest was a blank.

I woke up some where even more babyish then the first room I was in.
I tried to adjust my position when I hit a wall. I looked closer to see it wasn’t a wall it was a crib. I tried to stand up but was very weak to do so. So instead I turned my head to see that the room was filled with baby stuff just like the last one. But one thing realy struck me hard. On the ceiling hanging was letters saying, “Newborn Genta”.

I attempted to get up again but still weak from something stoped me. There seamed to be weight from something on me. I than looked at the diaper that I wore. It looked like it weighed a pound. It was so thick I couldn’t touch my legs. I tried to pry it of but again the strength I had mad it impossible to . Just than the nurse came in and coed me more. “What’s going on miss?” I asked her in a nervous state. She than shed me and started up a music box. She seemed to insert some ear plugs while doing so. “ Baby needs his sleep tomorrows a big day. I once again started losing consciousness and faded away. I only wonder what was going to happen next.

[BabyGrizzy]

Well, I like how you actually TRIED to spell it right, and the story line, itself...Eh...I am not so much into disciplinary diaper stuff, but it's alright. A bit black and white, to say the least.

[Dr_J]

When I first saw your spelling, I thought you may not have been from a country where English is the main language. But, then I saw that you're (not your) from Iowa, and said to myself, "Where are you going to school and what are they teaching you there?"

Your spelling aches my eyes, fellow aspiring writer. It greatly aches my eyes. As for your story? Meh. I agree with BabyGrizzly. Black and white. Your main character shows no hatred or sadness towards his parents for leaving him there. And you barely explain the school, as in where it came from, who started it, what exactly is involved. Still, I say you should post ONE more chapter, and then I'll give you more. So don't give up just yet, but PLEASE work on your (not you're) spelling.

And Genta as a name is something I will remember, but also a tad too unique for a story of this nature.

[audio file]

it's allright but it could use more detail

[NARU]

You need to check your grammer a little more. Other than that, you need to make sure this story doesnt suck when we climax.

[junyour]

Between spelling(injoy instead of enjoy) and the use of where for were, the grammer was poor. The storyline is good so far,though, and I hope you continue. Please use a spell checker for the next chapter

[Kenshin Himura]

It's ok but could use some more detail and also, we have seen school stories like this before so you really need to come up with something good to blow us out of the water.

[James]

Yeah, if you correct the spelling and grammar, I think this will be a good story.

[Babyjames5]

I will continue to read this. Try to use the spell checker when writing the next chapter.

[gamebaby]

OK i will keep the story going. But i will try too look for the spelling and gramer stuff. and for baby grizly, it will explain more in the next chapter.