The Terminal Switch - teen to toddler - Page 5

lpoolboy · 22-08-2008

Keep up the good work. I am really enjoying the story!

NARU · 26-08-2008

Ow. You need to make more paragraphs, say one every 7 sentences, and you dont indent. Besides your improper paragraphing, most people use past tense in stories, so it just sounds weird when I read this. Im not sure how they do it up in the england, but I think its safe to say our grammatical teachings are close, if not the same.

tom · 26-08-2008

I agree about the tense diaperdue. Its also hard to write in the present tense. If I was to do it again, Id definitely stick to past tense. I also agree about more paragraphs, but I was always taught to not indent when writing like this.

NARU · 26-08-2008

You always indent when making a new paragraph.

Martin · 28-08-2008

As far as I know, that's up to the writer. (or am I now totally off?)

LostPup · 29-08-2008

man i love it,i liek how he has those little accidents(wich i would like to see more of lol) but yea its a great story i wishi could do somthign like that

NARU · 29-08-2008

To the replyers: The writer isnt the only one who should try not to seem mentally disabled. Dont nag them for moar, its very, very annoying.

garnetandblack2107 · 12-09-2008

Really good so far

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22-08-2008	#41 (permalink)
lpoolboy Regular Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: UK Posts: 41 Threads: 5 Reputation: 0	Keep up the good work. I am really enjoying the story!

26-08-2008	#42 (permalink)
NARU Regular Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Georgia, USA Age: 14 Posts: 858 Threads: 22 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 3	Ow. You need to make more paragraphs, say one every 7 sentences, and you dont indent. Besides your improper paragraphing, most people use past tense in stories, so it just sounds weird when I read this. Im not sure how they do it up in the england, but I think its safe to say our grammatical teachings are close, if not the same.

26-08-2008	#43 (permalink)
tom VIP Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Dorset, England Age: 16 Posts: 425 Threads: 30 Blog Entries: 1	I agree about the tense diaperdue. Its also hard to write in the present tense. If I was to do it again, Id definitely stick to past tense. I also agree about more paragraphs, but I was always taught to not indent when writing like this.

26-08-2008	#44 (permalink)
NARU Regular Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Georgia, USA Age: 14 Posts: 858 Threads: 22 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 3	You always indent when making a new paragraph.

28-08-2008	#45 (permalink)
Martin What's up doc? Staff Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Netherlands Age: 17 Posts: 1,979 Threads: 35 Gallery Uploads: 127 Wiki Edits: 89 Blog Entries: 26	As far as I know, that's up to the writer. (or am I now totally off?)

29-08-2008	#46 (permalink)
LostPup Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Brampton,Ontario,Canada Age: 18 Posts: 126 Threads: 21 Gallery Uploads: 1 Blog Entries: 2 Reputation: 1	man i love it,i liek how he has those little accidents(wich i would like to see more of lol) but yea its a great story i wishi could do somthign like that

29-08-2008	#47 (permalink)
NARU Regular Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Georgia, USA Age: 14 Posts: 858 Threads: 22 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 3	To the replyers: The writer isnt the only one who should try not to seem mentally disabled. Dont nag them for moar, its very, very annoying.

12-09-2008	#48 (permalink)
garnetandblack2107 Regular Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: South Carolina, USA Age: 16 Posts: 156 Threads: 8 Reputation: 2	Really good so far