Back to School

[kidiak]

Alright, I just want to say that this is the first serious form of writing I've done probably in the last decade. I have a feeling there are bound to be mistakes and I want to hear about all of them.

I started writing this last week and I'm about six or so chapters in, so I'll be posting rather sporatically considering this is still a work in progress.

Again, I ask you to please be as honest as possible. I'm not gonna get any better if you guys and gals don't point out the mistakes I may have missed. But please be polite, I've never been that comfortable putting my work on display like this.

[kidiak]

Prologue


“To this day, I’m still not quite sure what my parents were thinking when they sent me here. Of all places, this had to be one of the strangest anyone had ever conceived. The culmination of all I knew at the time pointed to the fact that they were concerned, and that they had made this decision accordingly. In reality… it made for both some of the most horrible experiences, and also some of the happiest days of my life. It was suggested I write all this down while I still have the chance. At the rate things are going, I’ve begun to wonder if any of us will make it out of here in one piece.”

“Before I go any further, perhaps I should explain a little about myself. My name is Brad Winslow; I’m 12 years old, supposedly one of those gifted kids that’ll have his pick of high paying jobs if I simply apply myself, though I really never saw it myself. Being reasonably good looking, if not rather small for my age made me look far more childish than I really was. This fact made it much easier to concentrate on my school work rather than a social life. This… I think… was the foremost concern on my parent’s minds. I made sure to bring home good grades and I was rewarded for good behaviour. Having had the chance to get to know my parents very well, I rarely disobeyed. I played various sports on local teams and got many cheers, high fives, and even hugs from team mates, but didn’t really know any of them that well. Every game ended with “goodbye” or “great game” followed by… nothing… at least till the end of next one. I assume it was these games that told my parents I was capable of making friends, but simply chose not to.”

“At the beginning of August… a month before the start of a new school year… my parents called me into the main living room of our house to discuss some important aspects about my future. By the end of this meeting, I’d realize that change was imminent... If only I’d known how bad a pun that was going to turn out to be.”

[kidiak]

Chapter 1 – The Decision


“Brad” my mom yelled, “could you come down here for a few minutes? There’s something we’d like to discuss with you.”

I came down a few seconds later and plopped down in one of the big chairs at my parent’s request, although it took a while for them to actually say anything to me.

“Brad... your father and I have been trying to make up our minds on something for quite some time, but I think what we've decided on is for the best.” I looked at her with a blank expression on my face.

“We’re very concerned about you” my father said, continuing… “Your grades are excellent, as always you excel in just about everything you set your mind too, but why does making friends seem to be so low on your priority list?” I looked at him, not really knowing what to say and still having a hard time seeing where this was going.

A second later, realizing that he expected an answer, I replied “I don’t know, I suppose it’s never interested me enough” which was both true and false. I’d thought about it a lot, and even considered inviting one or two guys over from school. I guess I just never worked up the courage to actually do it. Perhaps if loneliness bothered me more, I might have tried harder.

My father continued, “It’s not healthy to work as much as you do and still spend all that time alone. To that end, we’ve decided to enrol you in a private school.”

My jaw dropped… I couldn’t believe what he’d just said. It didn’t take long to realize the implications behind those words. We didn’t live in a heavily populated area; either he just said we’re moving (which wasn’t likely since both my parent’s were very happy with their jobs) or I was going to have to leave. This obviously didn’t sit well.

I barely managed to stutter a why from my surprise as my mother carried on.

“We’ve decided on a school that highly promotes student interaction” she said, “Among other things, they try to remove all items not school oriented to create an environment optimised at keeping all the students as equals.”

It was obvious that she was practically quoting the brochure or at least something like that. I was barely able to keep my composure; this was way beyond anything I’d thought about. I knew they had been trying to encourage me to make friends, but this was the first time I’d actually realized how serious they were. I didn’t ask again since she had obviously ignored my question intentionally.

“You can't be serious!” I exclaimed.

“I'm afraid the descision has already been made” she said.

The statemeant was so blunt it caught me off guard. It was so final. I knew they had already set there minds on it and from the looks on their faces, talking them out of it wasn’t an option, so I sat there in silence until I could bring myself to ask “well… where is it?”

I knew they had already set there minds on it and from the looks on their faces, talking them out of it wasn’t an option, so I asked “well… where is it?”

Knowing I’d already seen how serious they were, my father answered, “It’s about six hours by car” he said in a low, sympathetic voice, “Arrangements have been made for you to stay in the dorm.”

“When am I supposed to leave?” my voice still shaky from the shock of all I had just heard.

“Generally, new applicants are supposed to start at the beginning of summer. It’s supposed to be a way for new students to get used to the daily routine before actually starting work. Since we hadn’t decided till now what we were going to do, you’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow to help you settle in.”

“THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW” I couldn’t help but gasp. My new life had already seemed so imminent, but to be also given such short notice on such an important, if unwanted event. I stayed quiet but I was definitely reaching my limit. Shortly after, I was allowed to leave and re-enter the sanctity of my bedroom.

My near future had been determined, and it already had a date. I’d spent the rest of the evening in my room, pondering the sudden influx of information running through my head. I had one day to get what affairs I had in order and get my stuff together. Of course… for a twelve year old boy, about the biggest affair you can have is arranging care for a pet or taking back overdue library books. I had tried to get more information about the school from my mom, but all she said was that they had some aspects that would take getting used to. Whatever that meant was beyond me, but by the time I’d gone to bed that night, I’d already accepted what was to come.

[kidiak]

Chapter 2 – The Interview


The morning of my departure had arrived, and as it turns out, my parents weren’t even going to drive me there. It was early afternoon as I waited for my ride to arrive, and I continued to go over recent events in my mind in an effort to understand why this was happening.

Before too long, a black SUV pulled up in front of the house. My mom went out to meet it and I saw a beautiful young lady get out and start talking with my mom. She had to have been in her mid twenties. This of course was a surprise, but it certainly could have been worse. I also noticed my mom look in and wave through one of the rear windows. I kept wondering who else would be unlucky enough to be dragged along on an six hour long drive just to come pick me up.

After a few more words with the young lady, my mom signalled me to come over and start loading my stuff. I’d brought everything from clothes and toiletries to my laptop, figuring it would come in handy for school, and perhaps I’d get even luckier and find out they had an internet connection. Of course I introduced myself before throwing my stuff in the back, but she didn’t return the favour. Instead she just smiled and asked me to get in the back.

I hugged my mom, said my goodbyes, and then got in. There was a young girl already sitting in the back, she was definitely around my age, but far more developed physically than I thought possible for someone so young. I greeted her with a not-so-confident smile and put on my seatbelt. The young lady then got into the drivers seat, asked if we were buckled in.

“Yes” we both answered, and then she started up the vehicle.

As we pulled away, I noticed a few things... first, this SUV was definitely a top model, it wreaked of money and fresh leather. Two, the rear had no controls whatsoever which seemed odd, but I ignored it thinking that if it’s for transporting students, it really shouldn’t be that surprising that the driver wouldn’t want kids fooling with the controls. Third, the second we pulled out of the driveway I heard the locks engage and there didn't appear to be any way to open the door from the inside. If and when I got out, she’d be the one to let me. A bit of a scary thought, but no more so than anything else that had happened in the last couple days.

Man did it make me feel better when the young lady finally decided to say something. I was already nervous enough; if she hadn’t… it was conceivable the whole trip would have been made in silence.

“I suppose it’s time we got to know each other” I listened and simply nodded as she looked at me in the rear-view mirror.

“My name is Ms. Drake and the young lady beside you is Lindsey” she continued… “How much have you been told about our school?” she asked.

Realizing this meant having to say something, I simply said “not a lot really” with as much confidence as I could muster, but failed miserably as attested by the shakyness in my voice.

She obviously noticed, “It’s alright, I’ve already been told the circumstances of your enrolment. Being such a sudden occurrence was probably not an easy thing to adapt to.”

It was surprising, but she really seemed to care. As we spoke she continued to ask questions about myself and I’d answer as well as I could. Over time it got easier, and before I knew it, I was actually referring to her as Ms. Drake. As the drive continued, I couldn’t help but notice that the girl beside me… Lindsey… hadn’t said much of anything. She just sat there supposedly enjoying the drive and looking out the window. It took some time, but I finally worked the courage to ask her.

“Umm… if I may ask” she turned her head and looked right at me, “are you also a new student?”

She smiled, “no... I’m just here to keep Ms. Drake company”, I sensed she wasn’t being completely honest with me, but with nothing else to go on but a hunch, I dropped the matter. I simply nodded and started looking out my window.

The drive was pretty quiet after that. The landscape flying by was beautiful, I always loved being outside. I couldn’t help but pop a few questions about the school, but as was the case with my mom and dad, Ms. Drake and Lindsey would just sidestep each one. I was always left with no more information than I started with and it began to frustrate me.
After sitting in silence for a few more hours I decided to try one more time.

“Umm… I realize you aren’t that willing to say much, but could you at least tell me what the uniforms are like?” They both seemed stunned by the question. They both seemed to exchange invisible looks… and then giggled. I couldn’t help but show that famous blank expression I’d had so much practice with over the last couple days.

A few minutes later Ms. Drake commented that we were almost there and said that they’d have to make a quick detour and top off the gas tank. This seemed like great timing since I really had to pee. We pulled into the pump, and I asked if I could go use the washroom.

“Do you need to go that badly” she asked, I nodded and said "I’d been meaning to say something earlier, but this seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up. She nodded hesitantly and came around and opened my door. I got the key from the desk and proceeded to the washroom especially amazed that I lasted as long as I did. I guess I just didn’t eat much over the last couple days. The pressure must have really been getting to me. And then a question entered my head. How did both of them go so long without? Odds were one of them would have needed to go at some point. I shook it off as just coincidence, dropped off the key and also purchased a large drink, then headed back to the SUV.

After we’d left the gas station and I was polishing off the last of my drink, Ms. Drake popped a question of her own, but not to me.

“So… does he pass?” I looked at Lindsey with a quizzical stare, “Yes, I think he does” she said with a rather suspicious smirk.

“Pass?” I said, “What do you mean?” my internal alert meter just went off the scale, and that’s when we turned through a big gate at the front of a very large compound.

We parked and then Ms. Drake turned around in her seat and let out a smirk not unlike the one Lindsey just made. “The interview is over. It seems you’ve passed the test” she said.

I was dumbfounded; I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I just looked from one… to the other. I must have looked like quite the fool. It was the most uncomfortable I’d been since we’d left. In the background I could hear a loud creak as the big rot-iron gates closed and all I could think about was what the hell I had gotten myself into. Scary… that was the only word that seemed to fit this scenario.

[Error404]

Very well written. Only two things that bugged me.

The fact that your character did not attempt to talk his way out of it in contrast to your parents saying "We've been thinking about this for a long time." seemed that they were more discussing it out of the case that they were arguing internally and were looking to you for confirmation. The lack of some sort of "Well, I don't want to" followed by a "It's too late" sort of thing kind of ruined the scene, it seemed very false. So far though, I'm liking it, I'll keep up to date for sure.

Anyhow. A single mistake I caught out whilst reading it:

“Do you need to go that badly” she asked, “I nodded and said I’d been

I've bolded the mistake, but just in case, it's an extra unneeded speech mark.

No biggy. Keep up the excellent work.

I look forward to the next chapters.

[kidiak]

Thanks, it was something I had noticed earlier, but neglected to change. I didn't notice it on my last pass since it was purely a gramatical run-through. I had meant to make the descion seem more final than it did. I think I did a better job this time through, and I fixed that quotation mark.

Tell me what you think

[Kenshin Himura]

Not bad, you have an ok story going and the characters have some depth to them. Please put up the next chapter.

[Error404]

Much cleaner, much more cutting and to the point, it holds true to the story and character arcs now. Looking forward to more. <3

[Babyjames5]

I want to hear more from this. I like the idea of a student going to a private boarding school.

[schoolboy21]

i dont read stories much but this one sounds good keep writing