I, Infantilist

[Dr_J]

In all honesty, I have not received one negative response from this story yet. This is madness! haha Nah, it's not really madness, it's just...different for me. Most of the time somebody gripes about my work. Still, I'm glad to see you all like it so well. I'll keep on going until the quill in my brain runs out of ink!

[Atsu]

Like everyone else has said, Best story on adisc yet.

[Dr_J]

Heh...so, uh...I'm sorry for the long wait. As I mentioned before, I've been packing and preparing to go back to college for my final semester. But! Here is Thirteen

Yayyyyyy. Now, I think I may have to end it at 14, because it seems I've said all that I need to, but we will see. Without further hesitation, here is the Thirteenth chapter:

Chapter Thirteen

With the return of our role-playing session, Jill and I hit the ground running. It was only a matter of weeks until my heart told me that this woman loved me and that I loved her. We’d see each other just about every weekend, and every few weeks or so I’d play the role of her baby. This became our routine for that summer, and I must say that it was probably one of the better summer vacations I had. But, all good things must come to an end. School was just around the corner, but the way I saw it, I’d be closer to Jill, plus I’d have my own dorm room again. I looked forward to the upcoming school year. Hell, I looked forward to life itself! But, as you know, there always has to be something to rain on your parade.

My first semester of my sophomore year flew by, and once again I’d made it onto the President’s List. Jill and I continued to build our relationship, my roommates and I had good times partying, and I didn’t have a care in the world. The following semester was when parts of my blissful world were invaded by the cruelty of other people.

My roommate Dan had invited his girlfriend and her best friend up for a party over the weekend before Spring break. I didn’t have a problem with it, so I told him that they were more than welcome to come up and party. And so they did. Dan’s girlfriend, Alison, was alright. She was quiet, but she was pleasant. Alison’s best friend Erica, however, was a different story. She appeared nice, but I was able to see through her like a glass bottle. Something about her tone of voice told me to be wary of her, but I held my breath and still treated her with respect.

Jill and I had been talking on the messenger program in my room. I know, I know, some boyfriend I am to not talk on the phone, right? Well, the thing is that I could get more schoolwork done when I wasn’t talking on the phone, so that’s just how we did things during the week. But anyway, I’d gotten into a deep conversation with Jill about why I enjoyed being babied. We came up with a bunch of different theories, then discussed more about what exactly triggered my desires. I remember I’d told her something about seeing fresh diapers, and how seeing them always triggered something almost automatically. After about a half-hour or so, I remembered that I had to visit a colleague a few dorms down to help him with his homework, so I told Jill goodbye and left my room door open without closing my messenger program. I didn’t really think that anyone would just barge into my room, because my roommates and I had made a pact about respecting each others’ privacy. So I went on my merry way to my friend’s dorm.

Within an hour of helping my friend, my job was done. It was almost ten at night, and I just wanted to cap the night off with an ice cold lager. I hurried my way back to my dorm, and once I entered, Alison and Erica looked like they were on their way out the door.

“Leaving already? You just got here!” I joked.

“No, no,” Alison chuckled, “we have to go to the store to get some drinks and stuff. Do you need anything?”

“Nah, I’m fine, thanks!”

“You sure? No food or soda or anything?” Alison asked again.

“I’m sure. Thanks, though.”

“Diapers?” Erica said with an evil grin.

A verbal slap in the face. That’s the only way I can describe the way she’d made her remark. All of the good feelings I’d been having, everything I’d been looking forward to, all came to a screeching halt because of one word asked in the form of a question. How did she know? Was she just joking?

“What?” I asked while laughing to play it off as if I didn’t know what she was talking about.

I looked down the hallway to see that my computer screen was still on. Now normally it would have blanked out after just fifteen minutes of staying idle, which meant somebody had been in my room. That somebody was Erica. And there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she’d read been looking through my conversation.

“Nothing.” Erica smirked as she left.

The evil in her eyes became more visible as she exited the building, and felt my body tingle with fear. It’d have been one thing if she just went into my room to see what my setup looked like, but this was far more severe. Not only did this stranger invade my privacy, but she also used it against me in a threatening manner. I found it much harder to think of how I’d handle the situation since this person would be coming back into my dorm. If I yelled at her for entering my room, there was a chance that she’d expose who I really was to my roommates. However, I thought about it for a moment: would anyone have believed her if she told them something so unusual? My initial feeling was that they’d just call her stupid and laugh. Still, I had to come up with a way to make sure that she didn’t come back, because even though I’d only known her for such a short while, she was still my enemy.

“Hey Dan! Can I talk to you for a minute, bro?” I asked him.

“Yeah! What’s up?”

I then explained to him how I had a feeling that someone had gone into my room.

“Are you shitting me? I should’ve known!” he threw his hands up in the air.

“What do you mean?”

“Alison’s friend! I saw her going down the hallway earlier, but I didn’t think anything of it. She was down there for a while, too.”

“I kind of figured it was her. She gave me some odd looks right before she left.” I said.

“Damn. Stupid bitch! Don’t tell Alison I told you this, but I really don’t like Erica that much.”

“I didn’t have a problem with her until now.”

“Yeah. Well, don’t worry, bro. I’ll make sure she doesn’t come back up here anymore after tonight.”

Once the girls returned, the night moved on as if nothing even happened, though in my heart I felt weak. Something that I had to accept had the power to nearly bring me to my knees in panic and fear. It really made me wonder if I really would have to live this second life in secrecy. Sure, it was a harmless part about me in which I couldn’t just stop participating in, but I felt that if society were to see the clash of infantile tendencies with adults, then they’d automatically think of pedophilia.

Before the night ended, I’d talked to Jill about what had happened and how I felt about the whole thing. She of course was upset and apologized.

“Don’t you let her get to you. And if she does happen to try to use it against you, I’ll drive right up there and kick her ass!” Jill reassured me.

A few weeks went by, yet the incident with Erica still played fresh in my mind, almost as if I’d been forced to watch it like it were some kind of punishment. I didn’t like it one bit, and sadly, things only got more intense from there. I can recall another night when my friends and I had a cookout. Jill came up for the weekend, and we’d all been having the best time of our lives as usual. There’s something about drinking a beer and cooking up burgers with your friends that just screams perfection. That is, of course, until certain discussions arise.

The night came as we’d finished eating and drinking a bit more. Everyone shared their crazy experiences with each other while we sat at the table outside of our building. Nothing could ruin the time we had.

“Oh, shit! You guys want to hear something really messed up?” my roommate Dan shouted.

We all nodded and listened intently, with the exception of a few people making jokes off to the side about one of the RAs.

“Well, Joe and I were watching this special on TV last night, and it was sick! There were actually these people who liked dressing up in diapers and acting like kids.”

My smirk came off of my face almost immediately as I felt something in my chest increase in size.

“I heard about those people,” one person interjected, “I guess they like to shit themselves and be taken care of by people and they get off on it.”

“Ew!” Dan’s girlfriend cried with a look of absolute disgust on her face.

I held my breath and tried to focus on Jill, but she saw the expression on my face and gave me a concerned look. She knew I was uncomfortable, but I couldn’t just get up and leave, otherwise they’d have suspected me.

“Yeah tell me about it! Sick freaks out there, man! If I ever saw someone doing that, I’d probably kick their ass just for being so messed up.”

Would you kick my ass? No…don’t say it aloud, John. Deep breaths. That’s it…just don’t listen.

“I mean, who the hell would want to wear diapers and do all of that stupid shit?”

There was a small burst of laughter from most of the people sitting at the table, and the more people I saw laughing, the smaller I felt. Jill knew not to tell the group her thoughts on the matter, but she gripped my hand and clenched it tightly to ease my anxiety.

“Why do homosexuals like to go out with people of the same sex?” I asked.

Soon all eyes fell on me.

“What? What does that have to do with anything?” Dan asked.

“A lot, actually.” There was a dryness in my mouth, but I couldn’t end it on that note. “I mean, I guess I’d say people just have their different preferences, you know? I mean, sure it might seem sick to us, but to them it’s probably second nature. It’s just our failure to grasp the concept that makes people dislike them so much. ‘Fear of the unknown’.”

There was a bit of silence, and I waited for somebody to accuse me of being an infantilist.

“That’s got to be one of the best arguments I’ve ever heard in my entire life!” Joe exclaimed.

A few people agreed and were surprised by my response, but Dan and some others still felt the need to express their true hatred towards people like me.

“No way! I can grasp it perfectly. Some people are just sick and they need to be sent to a mental home! I mean, what would you do if you knew somebody who was into that shit, man?” Dan looked at me.

What would I do? A question that had never been asked before. I thought about it for a moment. Obviously I’d accept that person with open arms, mostly because I too was an infantilist and I understood the concept, but Dan…no, the crowd couldn’t know that.

“Honestly, Dan, I’d-” I stopped myself short. “I really don’t know.”

With a few more hateful remarks from Dan and a few others, the conversation ended, and so did the night. I dragged myself into my room with Jill behind me. We closed the door and I sighed as I took my clothes off and got ready for bed.

“Don’t you listen to them, John. You and I both know that you’re a great person, no matter what. And you know I love every part of you!”

“Do you think he’d be my friend if he knew? Did you hear how angry he and the others got over this? I have to hide this in order to keep people like him off of my back! I understand what I am, Jill, but I can’t understand how people can be so ignorant.” I climbed into my bed and faced the ceiling.

“I know, John.” Jill said as she cuddled next to me and ran her fingers through my hair. “But just try not to listen to them.”

“How can I not?”

“Well…” Jill paused for a moment, “…I know! Just don’t take that part of you so seriously! Try not to make it so important, and maybe it’ll help!”

I’d never thought of that before. Jill had given me an epiphany! I’d been putting my infantilism on some kind of pedestal, when in fact I should’ve just been treating it like it was just another part of my personality. I smiled at the thought.

“You’re right, Jill. I think I may even have to learn to laugh at myself a bit. I mean, a college kid wearing a diaper? That’s kind of funny when I think about it.”

“There you go!” Jill laughed. “But do you know what the difference between you wearing a diaper and some other random kid wearing one? You look absolutely adorable in them.”

“Ah, come on! You’re making me blush!”

“What? I’m just saying!”

We both laughed some more before we drifted off to sleep. I think there was a reason for me to endure these two incidents, and Jill was there to help me find the answers. All that time I’d made my desire more important than it should’ve been, and that caused me to become afraid. But that fateful night, even through the turmoil, I’d managed to find both my courage and my ability to not take things so seriously all of the time. These two things would make my life so much better in the future.

TO BE CONTINUED

So? Is it still good? Again, I can't promise you that I will keep on pumping out more chapters...I'm seriously considering ending it with 14...or maybe 15.

We will see.

But what do you think?

[Mugiwara]

Its still great man, one of the best Infantilist stories I have read and let me tell you right now I dont want it to stop at 14 or 15 I want more than that! I mean thats just one or two chapters left and it feels like there should be more. And then you could probably publish it as like the first Infantilist book you can buy!

[Jon93]

Amazing. Epic. Win. This is my drug, your my supplier, dont make me go dry! Keep it up!! Best story on Adisc hands down.

[Maverick]

It's still wonderful! I've read this story since you started Chapter 1 and I don't regret any of it!

It's a shame that it will end soon,

Originally Posted by Dr_J

But, all good things must come to an end.

[Manveru]

AUGUASLDGJSADNGFSADGF MORE MORE MORE MORE

SO effing GOOD

[Dr_J]

Originally Posted by Manveru

AUGUASLDGJSADNGFSADGF MORE MORE MORE MORE

SO effing GOOD

I laughed so hard when I saw this post. I'm not sure why, but I seriously laughed out loud. I will continue soon! Just moved into the dorm tonight, so I have some setting up to do.

[Dr_J]

I'd like to apologize to all of you for not posting anything in the past few weeks. College has been sucking up all of my creative resources (I'm currently in three writing intensive courses, all of which I need in order to graduate this semester =\)

I am slowly picking away at Chapter 14, but again, I feel that I may be ending the story sometime soon so not to disappoint people and so not to try to just add things "just because".

Again, I apologize I will do what I can, when I can.

[Dr_J]

Oh, and I almost forgot...many have suggested that I try publishing this book. I WILL try, as I have published one other book before.

The thing is, the company in which I published my first book will not publish me again until I sell more copies of the first book. So, my two options are to get people to buy my first book, or find another company (a long and sometimes costly process).

But don't think that I'm going to give up on trying. I'd love to see this out there, and not (And NEVER) for the money. See, I want society to grasp this concept. To see that we are just like everybody else, with the exception of a quirk that's a bit out of the ordinary

I shall continue my work to the best of my ability.