Passion in the Flames: The Chronicles of Streak

**Soulja_Flox** · 27-01-2008

Passion in the Flames: The Chronicles of Streak

My name is Kaizer, although I have earned the nickname, streak, a lot of things have been different, very different ever since the anthro world was discovered. They were much like us, but because they were different, they were shunned, and when it was discovered that they were capable of the same abilities and technologies we were capable of, RAIN… an underground organization saw them as a threat to the human race…And forced them secluded from the rest of the world. A few of them reacted violently to this but they were exterminated by RAIN. And after those few attacks, Rain had done everything to make sure that anyone belonging to the organization would convince others that they were evil. I know this, because I was a member of RAIN. And was convinced by everyone else that they were as they had said, evil, and responsible for the death of my family. Little did I know, that I would soon learn the dark and twisted secrets of the organization, and see, that they were the ones responsible for all the terrible things that had happened…

Here is how I came to realize the truth, Kaizer
Chapter 1: Dawn…

**Soulja_Flox** · 27-01-2008

Hows that for being original and dramatic So far, and that just the prologue of the character speaking, i think i got something good here.

~~DarkSunDS~~ · 27-01-2008

That sounds promising, maybe you can do something good with that, be careful to choose the right words, so far the Prologue looks good, as for originality we'll see later in the story =3

blarg · 27-01-2008

Quote:

we were capable of, RAIN… an underground organization saw them as a threat to the human race…

we were capable of(this is akwardly phrased). Rain- an underground organization saw them as a threat to the human race.

Quote:

Rain had done everything to make sure that anyone belonging to the organization would convince others that they were evil. I know this,

poorly written, seems... off to me. "RAIN- to the best of their capabilities attempted to cut off all true knowledge of the banished race, rather they dedicated much of their time to showing the evils of the..."

Quote:

My name is Kaizer, although I have earned the nickname, streak, a lot of things have been different, very different ever since the anthro world was discovered.

"My name is Kaizer; many call me streak. But not so long ago i was a different person- fighting for a different cause. My life turned upside down on the day of the discovery of the anthro world."

Hope that helps...
~blarg

silent deadly alchemist · 27-01-2008

yeah... its got some serious potential

**Soulja_Flox** · 27-01-2008

thx, ill be sure to make those corrections, all though instead of showing the evils, i thing ill use proving that they were an evil race.

27-01-2008	#1 (permalink)
Soulja_Flox Lurker Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Usa, Wisconsin Age: 18 Posts: 98 Threads: 10 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: -1	Passion in the Flames: The Chronicles of Streak Passion in the Flames: The Chronicles of Streak My name is Kaizer, although I have earned the nickname, streak, a lot of things have been different, very different ever since the anthro world was discovered. They were much like us, but because they were different, they were shunned, and when it was discovered that they were capable of the same abilities and technologies we were capable of, RAIN… an underground organization saw them as a threat to the human race…And forced them secluded from the rest of the world. A few of them reacted violently to this but they were exterminated by RAIN. And after those few attacks, Rain had done everything to make sure that anyone belonging to the organization would convince others that they were evil. I know this, because I was a member of RAIN. And was convinced by everyone else that they were as they had said, evil, and responsible for the death of my family. Little did I know, that I would soon learn the dark and twisted secrets of the organization, and see, that they were the ones responsible for all the terrible things that had happened… Here is how I came to realize the truth, Kaizer Chapter 1: Dawn…

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27-01-2008	#2 (permalink)
Soulja_Flox Lurker Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Usa, Wisconsin Age: 18 Posts: 98 Threads: 10 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: -1	Hows that for being original and dramatic So far, and that just the prologue of the character speaking, i think i got something good here.

27-01-2008	#3 (permalink)
~~DarkSunDS~~ Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 1,880 Threads: 50 Wiki Edits: 60 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 30	That sounds promising, maybe you can do something good with that, be careful to choose the right words, so far the Prologue looks good, as for originality we'll see later in the story =3

27-01-2008	#5 (permalink)
silent deadly alchemist VIP Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia, NSW, sydney Age: 20 Posts: 998 Threads: 21 Gallery Uploads: 20 Reputation: 11	yeah... its got some serious potential

27-01-2008	#6 (permalink)
Soulja_Flox Lurker Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Usa, Wisconsin Age: 18 Posts: 98 Threads: 10 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: -1	thx, ill be sure to make those corrections, all though instead of showing the evils, i thing ill use proving that they were an evil race.