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Old 11-05-2008   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Circle Series

(If you want to get to reading the story, or anything important for that matter, skip this paragraph.) A long time ago (well, about a year), I started to post a story here. After the fourms went down, I still had that story safe and intact on my hard drive. It was quite lengthy (for my standards, anyway - it was around 50 pages in Word, formatted at a 10pt font), and was developing continually. Ironically enough, my computer suffered a *critical hit* when it was dropped on the floor with the hard drive running. None of the data was able to be recovered, so that entire story was lost.

That story was 'The Great Ninja Story', a tale of a young dude who went through some vigorous challenges and was getting nearer to venturing off to some unknown land, right when everything was erased. This is that story rewritten. It is very similar to the other one, with a bit of editing and plot-rearranging done to make it even better than before. It's also when I get to announce that it is the first in a series, of which the length isn't determined yet, but I want it to be around three book-sized chunks. Anyways, here is that story, reborn as the first book of The Circle Series, 'The Beginning of the Circle':


-------------------


Book I
Part I
Chapter I: A Series of Coherent Flashbacks

It wasn’t long before the sun started to set. Long shadows cast over the trees and fused with the minute light, creating a wide spectrum of murky colors that played in the shadows, revealing themselves only when viewed at an angle.

At the moment, there were three humans in the entire garden. The third was visible, but not noticeable, as the other two were concentrating too hard on fighting one another. The energy being expound from Botanical Garden III was felt by every creature – living and dead – within the perimeter of the school. The younger students, along with most of the older ones, could not recognize what the sensation was. Most of the instructors had a vague idea of the occurrence, but could not place exactly what was going on.

An epic battle was taking place that evening, and there were only two people that would be alive as it drew to a close. Only two people in the world who knew what happened.

The first contestant was quite thin. With tight fitting cloth draped ever-so-gently over his shoulders, the man looked nearly emaciated. Anyone assuming this would have been incorrect, of course, as this elderly person, this entity that represented the foundation of the school itself, was stronger than anything in anyone’s imagination. He had an almost-sagely, trimmed white beard, complete with lines arcing across both forehead and from the corners of his mouth.

In stark contrast, the other man was not thin. Armor covered every limb, every vital organ, shining sliver. His bushy black mustache, eyebrows, and goatee gave him the appearance of a jewel beetle. It quite suited his quick-to-arms temper. It might have even led to his downfall in the near future. But that hadn’t happened. Not just yet.

************************************************** **********************


The morning bell had just rung, and it was time for the first class of the day. The first class was Vital Skills II, the number representing the level of difficulty of the class. Last year only basic ideas were discussed, straying away from any concrete ideas until the end of the year. Those that had no experience in such matters as maneuvers, strategic planning and positioning, topography, exact and discreet life, first aid, and other topics were introduced to what they were, but nothing was divulged about the process undergone to bring about a result. Vital Skills II aimed to build on Vital Skills I like one brick on top of another; instead of learning the theory, it was time to perform the tasks. Compared to other regular classes, such as geography, simple mathematics, and history (which included several branches of other classes), Vital Skills II was one of the most anticipated classes by the second year students.

As it turns out, today Kochi is headed to Vital Skills II. The class is already about a quarter of the way through the required topics, and has just recently started on maneuvers, a widely anticipated subject. For this class, which will last halfway until lunch (which is at noon), Instructors Hetori and Byobyo will continue where class left off yesterday, on transformations.

************************************************** **************************


“You understand that if you don’t comply with my warning at this moment, then you have challenged me to a duel. Is this agreed?” The skinny sage had asked, tone flat, with no hint of arrogance in his voice. It sounded as if he was about to take a vote.

The other man simply grunted, and drew his sword from a sheath wrapped around his waist, and held it out.

“I suppose we are ready then,” he replied, nonchalantly as ever, while simultaneously drawing a sword out of… out of the air.

This did not seem to surprise the other man, who grunted again.

“Kochi, I expect that you are watching from somewhere. While I would prefer that you not witness this, I will concede on the condition that you mention this to no one after tonight. Will you accept that?” The calm, slow talking warrior said this as though he had invited the boy to watch in the first place.

Kochi, the third person in the room, was quite surprised at first, and then not. His reaction was one of shock that the head instructor had known of his intrusion, but on second thought it was not surprising, as the old man seemed to know everything that went on around the facility no matter the time of day.

“Yes, sir,” Kochi stuttered, standing up awkwardly from the bush he had been hiding in up to the present moment. His green eyes absorbed the swampy light all around him, and reflected only pure, bright light. As if it intended to be there as part of nature, his mossy brown hair blended right in with the surrounding foliage; it was natural camouflage.

The burly man had made no notice of this, and had continued to stand, eyes not moving off of his adversary.

************************************************** **********************


“How are things going, Kochi? You seem preoccupied with something. Are you having trouble with the task at hand?” Instructor Are caught the student off-guard, in the midst of a night long ago.

“I’m having trouble visualizing the target object, sir. And the timing confuses me a bit as well. I visualize, sign, and then say the word, right?” Kochi asked. The instructors here were quite personal, and Kochi didn’t want to delve into that matter at the moment. Most of the teachers at this school were involved with the students’ lives, and since the size was relatively small compared to others, it was highly probable that someone, somewhere, would want to know exactly what was on one’s mind at any given moment.

Besides, the promise…

************************************************** **********************


Without warning, the larger man charged angrily towards the smaller. Kochi, the child, had backed up closer to the wall, maintaining a safe distance. With a light, chain-rustling sound, the attacking sword met another, more confident one, and bounced off. The sword on the defensive, a slim double-sided katana, emanated faint silver light. It seemed calming, peaceful, to stare into the light, moving this way and that as it deflected strike after strike. The way it nimbly cut through the air, creating a vacuum as it passed by which drew the light inward was almost hypnotic.

Kochi had finally looked away after some time, having almost been lulled to sleep by the swift motions of the serene blade. He tried to make out shape of the other sword, but it was not quite as easy to see in the dim light. After several moments of observation, he felt confident in the conclusion that it was irregularly shaped. The actual blade didn’t curve or zigzag, but it appeared as though something inside of it did, as though there was another material of more mass that swept it slightly forward, away from the one wielding it. That side appeared heavier than the other, which was most likely some composite material fused together with a small bit of air to give it a lighter weight – at the cost of longevity. The other material would last for quite a long time, but Kochi had estimated the other side would probably have to be replaced every several years or so, depending on the use.

Nothing spectacular had set itself apart from the metronomic clang of the swords, save for a leap in the air by the burly man. All in all, it gained him nothing, as his blow was deflected downward, into the ground. Eventually, after a few of the candle-lights had gone out, and the moon was already on its descension, it became apparent that the battle was drawing to a close. The sagely old man had outlasted his opponent, and still had showed no signs of fatigue. The gargantuan’s attacks had become slower and slower, disturbing the rhythm of the night. It had been precisely that moment…

************************************************** **********************


The light reached Kochi a slight bit before the sound, so there had been no way to tell exactly what had happened. An incredible noise had arisen out of nowhere, and surrounded him, pounding the ground in front of him, the wall behind him, his feet, which were thrown up in the air, and his brain, which was also slightly shaken from the torrential power of the shockwave. Last was the amazing blast of heat that rushed by in a flash and was gone.

After regaining sight, which took several moments, it appeared as though everything was normal. All around, the trees, plants, grass, even the flowers were only shaken up a little bit. Only a very few were singed or burnt. A quick glance away from the center of the garden, the battle scene, experienced one with the aftereffects of a violent, high-speed collision of a human with a wall crafted of stone at a minimum of one meter thick.

It was hard to separate the wall from the human, however, as the two had practically fused together in the blast of heat, which had spread outward from the point of collision. The metal….

************************************************** **********************


“Do you understand now? It may be easier to think of it as the process of creating a sculpture:

“First is the visualization, which is like marble. You want that marble to be very solid and useable, so you concentrate the hardest on visualizing the target. The sign requires visualization, and acts similar to a plan, a layout of the maneuver. They explain how that life should be utilized to perform that maneuver. Last is the word, which is like the tools, and the work which crafts the sculpture out of the marble. While there is nothing to gain with the tools alone, they play an important part in the creation of the sculpture.

“All together, the three interact to create a beautiful work of art, which is exactly what a maneuver should look like. Why don’t you try again?” The instructor took his time in the analogy, trying to make it as simple as possible. He sounded like he could go on for hours, and probably would if he were in a classroom situation.

Realizing the only way to get the instructor to leave was to at least attempt a transformation, Kochi closed his eyes and imagined the best he could what a mouse looked like. A simple brown field mouse would suffice. First the general shape, then the limbs, eyes, and then fur. More creative people could probably envision each individual bit of fur, but Kochi could not.

Next was the signing. While each part was extremely important in the process, the signing was a bit less important than the visualization. The wording didn’t matter quite as much, but was still required, at least, at this at this level.

There were many signs that had been invented, however, most students got by on knowing around fifteen or so. What many outsiders to the art were unaware of is that there are categories and levels of signs. Once one level of a sign has been used, it should be followed up by another of the same category. The first sign is called the primary sign, since it defines the category, while the second is called the secondary sign. It was usually some kind of noun, something concrete, or a verb.

Occasionally there could be a third sign included, which would be some kind of adjective or adverb to modify the maneuver and make it more precise. Instead of creating a small fire on several dead leaves and branches, it could be changed to a small blue fire. Most of the time the third sign was added for some kind of dramatic effect, however in some occasions it could produce another maneuver alongside the first. Such actions were quite advanced, and reserved for only the highest class of students at the school.

Transformations was a category, and as such got its own set of signs. First Kochi made the transformation sign, and then continued on to make a second. Since there was no sign for “mouse”, Kochi made the one for “mammal”. He could have also done the one for organic life, however that was a bit vague. Since his image was a bit sketchy, he decided it would be better to be as exact as possible.

The word, or key word (sometimes a phrase) was required next. For most maneuvers it was simply a single word. For more complex, intricate ideas, a phrase was needed to achieve a desired effect. There was no rule about what should be said, it was completely subjective, however, using a different word with the exact same image and signs would produce a different effect.

Kochi simply said “mouse” to complete the controlled part of the maneuver, which was, as he had been constantly reminded his first year, a process, not only an action.

The effect was instantly noticeable. The grass surrounding him like a jungle shot up like the branches of trees, blocking out some of the heat of the sun, which was intensified due to his small stature. All of the grass blurred together like a giant, abstract mural. As if from a distance, he could hear Instructor Are’s words.

“You have done very well,” the large voice boomed down, “You may transform back whenever you wish. I don’t doubt that you can recall how to do that.” And with that, he walked away.

************************************************** **************************


The metal had fused into the wall, sealing the remains of what used to be a living being permanently into place. By the time Kochi had taken his eyes off of it, it still appeared to be smoking. Something powerful had just taken place, and he was afraid.

----------------------------

It's pretty long, but hopefully not too bad. Tell me what y'all think.
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Old 11-05-2008   #2 (permalink)
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Well i read it and though it uses a bit more detail than most, and "bigger" words than others, it simply does not flow smoothly. The whole thing is just next to incoherent, i understand that you're flashing back and forth but like the whole thing is just... awkward...

as for plot... it's too early to tell
~blarg
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