minibits, (short to very short stories) , [some shorts may contain violence, course language, and other mature content

[silent deadly alchemist]

hi, as the name suggests this thread is dedicated to me posting the literary equivalent of a short comic strip (snce i cant draw)

minibit1: one upon a time in lil okinawa.
the story begins with lowly beat police officer Sanjo tsukaze, making his way through the bustling streets of meiji restoration era naha, when all of a sudden he heard a scream and then two men burst ut of what looked, according to the sign swinging overhead, to be a sake-house, one of the men quickly collapsed, bleeding heavilyas sanjo faced the other, an irate looking, long robed man that looked to be from only one place, shanghai, in his hand the foreigner held a slim double edged straightsword, the edge still dripping blood.
sanjo sprang into action, deftly dropping into stance as he gripped his bo-staff, ready to intercept an attack "YOU there, stand fast, you are under arrest for violent assault, drop your weapon and put your hands where i can see them!"
the man shrugged, sneering and cursing in words sanjo didnt understand, ran at sanjo, his sword held horizontally in front, as he got in range, he, twisting and lashing out his armimed a circuler strike at sanjo's lower left leg,
sanjo, reacting with an instinct only brutal experience could offr, brought the end of the staff downward, intercepting the sword and then deflecting it by drawing the staff up and around in an arc, planting th sword point agains the ground, or, that was his hope anyway, with amazing speedhis attaker jumped backwards a step, withdrawing his sord and himself in one smooth movement, standing on his rightleg, he thrusts, his left leg lifted up and his whole body and arm forming a continuous horizontal line, sanjo, surprised, barely managed to extent his own staff and strike the man on the wrist breaking it, then his hands sliding together towards the near end of the staff, giving it a great length, he twistted to the right his staff shortly following in a whistling low strike connects with the foreigner's supporting leg, sending him sprawling to the floor, and soon finding th end of sanjos staff planted on his unbroken wrist, very painfully.
sanjo looked down on the man and said, are you willing to come quietly now, to which the man weakly nodded.

end scene (ok, that didnt turn out quite as good as i imagined)

[Laram]

That Was Rather Good, But, Spacing Would Make It Easier To Understand.

"Speech In Sections Like This."

And The Such, There's A Few Spelling Errors Aswell. Still, I Liked It. ^.^

[silent deadly alchemist]

well there was very little speech in it, mostly actions, but ill fix it up. its hard to think exactly where each action really ends. im glad u liked it, im gonna head up a kung fu invasion of this forum.

im still deciding on the next one each one is to be a largely standalone scenario

[Laram]

Heh. Mm'kay, I Shall Wait Eagerly.

[silent deadly alchemist]

ba-bump
"I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:"
Ba-bump....
"Follow your spirit, and upon this charge"
ba-bump
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!' "

LOOSE!!

The loud cry jolted Sean to his senses and, looking left and right, then up as he heard, underlain by the rumble of hoof beats, the twang and slither of bows being released and arrows sliding free of the string filled the air as they were sent, like a cloud towards the charging knights, it was then that Sean, barely aware of what he was consciously doing as he planted his feet and drew his bow, like he had a hundred times before, the goose feather fletches of the arrows just brushing his as he then released smoothly, and hearing the deep hum of the arrow, seeming to split the air as the next cloud flew towards the rushing horde
Looking at them, he felt a shiver of fear run straight down his spine, jolting him and causing his arrow to go wide.
The knights now seemed to be on top of him, but then,
Crash! The knights rammed with the force only a charging knight can muster into the palings and caltrops the archers had dropped before the battle began, the cries of the men as they were hurled from their saddles, and the whinnies and cries of pain by the horses as they were pricked and impaled in any which way imaginable. Seeing now the mass of armoured men on foot, lumbered their way laboriously and purposely through the freezing mud towards the men at arms standing nearby, gripping their weapons with grim determination. And just as the column of knights reached the battle line; Sean alongside the other bowmen, drew axes, steel mallets and falchions, shouldered their bucklers, and with a cry, charged into the melee.

The fate of Sean is unknown, what is known, is that the battle, was won.

[Laram]

... I MUST DO A STORY LIKE THAT! That Was Awesome. But I'd Base It In WWI. :P

More? :P

[silent deadly alchemist]

if you couldnt guess already it was the battle of agincort although some facts and timings of troop movements was modified
as for my first minibit, looking further at techniques and the use of the chinese jian (straightsword) in battle against weapons like the broadword and katana i see i kinda did the art a disservice, maybe i shoulda gotten the chinaman to wield a broadsword instead, ididnt give the guy enough fluidity (the bo staffmoves shown are almost identicle to the ones taught by my karate dojo)

and, awsome, it STILL didnt come out as i imagined it, maybe i should learn to animate, im largely seeking to create a feel thatthe persons actually there thats why i did what i did with the font sizes in the second bit, for the ww1 idea i thought about it and i realise why.

as for more, i dnno when ill next get the idea for the next one, dont really expect to see much firaarms, ill leave that for thosewho know the ins and outs of guns, im more knowing of antiquiated, close combat weapons like swords, spears and halberds.

[Laram]

Originally Posted by silent deadly alchemist

if you couldnt guess already it was the battle of agincort although some facts and timings of troop movements was modified
as for my first minibit, looking further at techniques and the use of the chinese jian (straightsword) in battle against weapons like the broadword and katana i see i kinda did the art a disservice, maybe i shoulda gotten the chinaman to wield a broadsword instead, ididnt give the guy enough fluidity (the bo staffmoves shown are almost identicle to the ones taught by my karate dojo)

and, awsome, it STILL didnt come out as i imagined it, maybe i should learn to animate, im largely seeking to create a feel thatthe persons actually there thats why i did what i did with the font sizes in the second bit, for the ww1 idea i thought about it and i realise why.

as for more, i dnno when ill next get the idea for the next one, dont really expect to see much firaarms, ill leave that for thosewho know the ins and outs of guns, im more knowing of antiquiated, close combat weapons like swords, spears and halberds.

Hehe.

http://www.adisc.org/forum/finished-...i-stories.html

I Did It. :P I've Also Done Another...

[silent deadly alchemist]

Originally Posted by Laram5

Hehe.

http://www.adisc.org/forum/finished-...i-stories.html

I Did It. :P I've Also Done Another...

not bad

yeah im having abit ova mental block on mine, soit may take abit to start the next

[Laram]

Originally Posted by silent deadly alchemist

not bad

yeah im having abit ova mental block on mine, soit may take abit to start the next

I've Finished My Second. :P