Guide to writing a scene

[blarg]

A guide to creating a proper scene
by: blarg

Ok, hello this is blarg yet again writing something for the benefit of the community.

Through all my reads on this forum I realized just how many people do not write a proper scene so I decided to write a thread on how to do just that. Ok first off I will start off by giving you an example of a decently written scene.

Characters-
Drizzt Do’Urden is a Drow Elf Ranger
Artemis Entreri is a Human Assasin
Twinkle & Icing are Drizzt’s two Scimitars.
Charon’s Claw & a Jeweled Dagger are Artemis’s weapons.


Now I’ll give you two types of scenes.

Normal Scene (Nothing out of ordinary going on)

Drizzt watched Cattibrie and her Husband to be- Wulfgar walk off into the distance holding each other in their arms. Wishing for things that should not be said Drizzt turned around and began to walk in the opposite direction of the pair. The grand halls of Mithril Hall which Bruenor had claimed as his rightful kingdom were massive and made the drow feel insignificant. Though he was on friendly grounds the elf simply didn’t feel right walking in the open so he took to the shadows and walking down those grand halls as silent as death itself. Not too far behind the coal skinned elf an unacknowledged human, Artemis Entreri began his equally silent pursuit of the drow ranger.

In this passage a seemingly insignificant one with the exception of the mention of Artemis. And the scene was not an introductory one so immense details were not necessary- if one would be reading the book this was out of they’d know how things looked like for a scene took place prior to the parting of ways and pursuit. I used a bit of details to describe things that had been already described to simply continue the image of grandeur of the hall and the image of the drow being black skinned. It is also very important to be able to use similes and metaphors- I only used a simile because I found it necessary at that one point, “… took to the shadows and walking down those grand halls as silent as death itself.” I underlined the simile and the part that initiates the simile is in bold as well. For those who do not know what a simile is here are the definitions:

SIMILE
When you say "the rugby ball was like a giant egg, which he held carefully while he ran" or "the cat leapt onto my shoulder and her claws, like thistle spines, pricked my skin painfully", you are using simile. 'Simile' literally means 'like' or 'the same as'.

METAPHOR
On the other hand, if you say "the rugby player cradled the giant egg ball" or "thistle spines pierced my skin when the cat leapt up", you are using metaphor. You are describing something as though it is actually something else. In one of my poems I call a dark cloud "a raven's wing". That's metaphor. I don't say the cloud is like a raven's wing. I wrote a poem called Silken Things which is full of metaphor because the things are none of them actually made of silk


You also want to keep describing things as they exit the scene even though you have no further use of them such as the part where I describe the couple leaving. Though they play no part in the coming action- at least in no immediate way I describe their exit either way to add some kind of realism for in real life people don’t simply meld away. You also want to give insight to opinions/beliefs and thoughts of your character such as when I said what he was thinking but not directly for this is a common passage and thus things should not be repeated for nothing new is being introduced and it is written with the assumption that you know of Drizzt’s feelings for Cattibrie even though she’s to be married. I did not add dialect in that paragraph but it is recommended that you have conversation partake regardless of the

Special Scene (Battle for this one):

“So we meet again, Artemis” Said Drizzt almost spitting out the man’s name. All the human did to regard the insult was smile for the exchanging of words had never been his strong point nor something he liked to partake in. He exaggerated his movements to his weapons as he kept his eyes locked with the passionate elf. “This is where you come to an end assassin.” With that word used as cue the two launched their bodies at one another initiating a flury of blades. The first to strike was Drizzt leading with his right scimitar- Twinkle he left a trail of light eminated from the scimitar as it swooped in to Artemis’s unprotected legs. The blade didn’t get anywhere close to the man, the strike had simply been one of initiation. Drizzt’s lavender eyes shone in determination and was met by the assassin’s cold gaze with lack of any passion. Artemis had jumped slide in the opposite direction of the previous strike and was already using that momentum to his advantage by launching himself into a spin of blades as the drow pressed on with strikes growing more precise… and deadly than previous.

Special Scene (Intimate)

Drizzt stared into the fiery woman’s eyes his eyes holding her gaze and both refused to look away despite for the biting wind rolling across the tundra. Both of them knew now, no matter how much both tried to deny it that they were in love- forbidden love. Cattibrie was a woman who was a bride-in-waiting after all and yet she was falling for an elf many years older than herself and that elf was a drow to top it all off. But nothing mattered for when she looked into Drizzt’s eyes she saw passion, fiery passion so much like her own for he had a cause in this life. His slender yet strong limbs had always strove for the elimination of evil. His ebon skinned hand had never struck those who did not require striking. He was the personification of justice despite for his skin color which she had so long ago looked past. A stronger then normal gust wound itself through the tundra giving her the slight nudge forward and into the drow who welcomed her into his now awaiting grasp. Her lips touched on the soft lips of the elf and she and him became one despite their surroundings for now she new all those strange feelings that she had so forcefully denied herself to were in fact those that she wanted, not just wanted- but needed to complete herself.

Notice how I describe the scenes slowly- I do not go through them too fast with a bit of an exception with the battle due to my lack of space but I tried. Always try to use metaphors/similes as I stated earlier, whenever you transfer make sure you make it obvious by stating the characters title/name that the view point is being transferred to. Whenever you’re saying things make sure that you do not repeat the same thing over such as using “Drizzt” over and over becomes rather boring, so to switch it up you can make him, “Drizzt, elf, ranger, drow, man, etc.” Personify your characters through human thoughts and actions, make them shy if need be, make them unsure of certain things.

So while you’re writing make sure you’re constantly thinking about details for those are THE most important things about scenes for without them a scene is nothing more than a statement of fact without the use of imagery which ruins the entire purpose of reading a book. Metaphors, Similes, Personification are all forms of details other than the obvious detailing of a scene.

Before I wrap it up I’d like to thank R.A. Salvatore for his great series in the Forgotten realms depicting the stories of several different drow. I highly recommend his books to any of you looking for something to read.

~blarg

[Moo]

Helpful post

It looks like several people are contributing material about how to write stories.

Perhaps someone could create a wiki page on this topic, and then people could freely contribute their stuff to the wiki page? That would enable it to stay organized without us having to have lots of sticky threads. Better to have the info in one place. Also, it would be easier for the author to update (as wiki pages have no edit time limit, unlike forum posts).

[blarg]

Edit time is no longer an issue on these forums i have found out- and thank you for your positive outlook on this i hope that this will be pinned some time soon.

[Babymullet Ver 9.8]

Hmm...I like the idea of a wiki story write page. Although it would be difficult to catch so many elements at once. Perhaps it would be easier to put up a general criteria that we use to judge what is a good story, although that could be taken to elitist.

Anywho, good job pointing out the meta-sims. Although the challenge with that stuff is to not sound like you had a high speed collision with a Thesaurus, and suddenly begin using words that would make an English major scratch his head in confusion.

[blarg]

of course not! We need to use laymen words but a thesaurus is always helpful in finding those words!

~blarg

[genbaby]

Originally Posted by Moo

Helpful post

It looks like several people are contributing material about how to write stories.

Perhaps someone could create a wiki page on this topic, and then people could freely contribute their stuff to the wiki page? That would enable it to stay organized without us having to have lots of sticky threads. Better to have the info in one place. Also, it would be easier for the author to update (as wiki pages have no edit time limit, unlike forum posts).

I know i did it a while ago but i just want to note that there is know one i diced to help out and podt the three current guides in it to save sticky space after i read your post i though about it and decided yes.

[Conrad]

A helpful post indeed.

Also, if it's a diaper story, don't write in the past tense, ALWAYS use the present tense.

Don't just say "Person 1 changed person 2's diaper"... describe it.

[blarg]

Any story you're supposed to stick to present-tense... that's proper english for you, eh? Oh well.

[ShippoFox]

I did not add dialect in that paragraph but it is recommended that you have conversation partake regardless of the

Special Scene (Battle for this one):

Regardless of the....? Did you mean regardless of the special scene? If not, then something kinda got chopped off there.


Anyway, good guide!