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4 Weeks Ago
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#54 (permalink) |
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Cute 'lil fox!
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 This story is unbelievable.No. You are unbelievable. The way you captured Alex and Logan's bond so quickly is stunning; Hell, I couldn't even do that with Brothers, and most people said the bond was very strong. Well, my friend, yours is even stronger. This story is so good, you deserve my trust as a writer, and as a friend. Because if you're a writer, and you're a good one, then you're my friend.  Unbelievable you're 16. You just might have a future in writing, my boy.  One more thing. I noticed that this story and Brothers have one similarity. Notice it? Anyways, good work. I hope you continue this soon.  --The Foxxeh Assassin-- |
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3 Weeks Ago
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#55 (permalink) | |
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Regular
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Quote:
ACK! TFA has requested of me to continue this story...I must comply....*bows* yes oh masterful one. XD thank you for the wonderful comments, TFA. I'm really glad you think i captured their relationship well; it was my main goal, but i was unsure if it was .... passable. I would love to have a carer in writing one day. In fact, i've submitted something for a contest, but i've not heard any results back yet. They sent an email saying that they'd get the results out by the end of the year X.x *sigh* I guess I have to finish this story now...*glares at TFA* It might take me a few weeks to get the new chapter out because of school and stuff but if there isnt one after 3 everyone bug me to post one XD -LT |
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3 Weeks Ago
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#56 (permalink) |
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Regular
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Finally! The New Installment
Finally, after months of silence. The new installment of Brainwashed has been completed.
I highly recommend that you go back and read this story from the start. This is because as i was writing it i kept forgetting names and had to keep looking them back up (as well as what role they played)  I hope you enjoy, at long last, this new chapter. *please note any discrepancies in grammar or spelling. It's really helpful! __________________________________ Chapter 6: Shattered The medical lab was in shambles. concrete blocks were blown across the room and dust still swirled in the air, slowly percolating down to form a snow like blanket on the tools and counters. The gaping hole in the wall had been covered by a protective shield that ensured nothing could pass in or out; unfortunately having the side effect that one could not see out as well. Trey shuddered, his hand brushing the shield as he measured the size of the hole. Already his mood was bleak and solemn; he'd lost two friends in a matter of weeks, and the work he was doing only served to compound that fact. How could Logan have jumped out? When had he become so selfish? No, Trey reminded himself, Logan was distraught, not selfish. He probably didn't think about how his friends would feel if he left them. Trey jumped as a hand was laid on his shoulder. "Come on, Trey." Ron said. "Let's just get this finished and get out of here." Trey nodded and started to work again. He hadn't even noticed when he'd stopped. ________ Trey grimly acknowledged the gloomy room as he stepped through the sliding door. Even the night-light did little to beat back the ever encroaching darkness. Not physical darkness - for in the evening dusk, an orange light snaked in through the window - but the empty darkness, the void in his heart. A void that he knew his partner, Ron, felt as well. Alex and Logan's crib had been removed, and in its place stood... nothing. All of their belongings had been taken from the room: Their changing table and their dresser....gone. Trey had managed to save Logan's bear in the foray and it now replaced his own. But aside from that, all that remained of his friends was a bare stretch of carpet. With a resigned sigh, Trey put is bag of tools down and crawled into the crib. He snuggled up to Ron and a few seconds later his body shook from tears. Minutes ticked by, seemingly in tandem with hours. Each miniscule blip in time took eons to traverse. Night had become eternal. Images of Logan darted in and out of his dreams. He saw Alex's dead body rise from the bed and stare at him blankly. "Come catch me!" Logan shouted, running off. Trey ran after him. Alex appeared behind trey. Only this time he was a monster. trey tripped and fell to the ground. He scrambled. He couldn't get up. Alex sprang. He landed on Trey and shook him roughly. "Come on, Trey! Wake up! Please, wake up!" Trey's eyes shot open and he let out a blood curdling scream. ________ Trey still hadn't recovered from the mornings escapade when he walked into the medical ward with Ron. Deliberately, he kept his eyes low and did not let them stray towards the hole. He busied himself with cleaning his tools repeatedly. Trey did not notice when Ron disappeared to speak with the supervisor but he noticed when the man stood above him. "Yes Mr.Watterson?" he asked, hesitantly. "Pack up your tools. Ron and you are taking the day off. Go relax in the nursery." "But sir-" Trey said, meaning to protest. "That's an order, Trey" "Yes sir." Trey and Ron walked out of the Medical ward and, slowly slid down the hallway unnoticed. A stoic silence lapsed between them. As they reached the end of the hallway, Ron made to head towards the nursery. But, Trey, hearing raised voices, walked towards the Deans office. Inside he could hear the Dean and Doctor carrying on a heated conversation. Motioning for Ron to come over, he pressed his ear up to the door. "We can't just leave him out there!" Montgomery implored. Trey could hear a hand slam down on the desk. "Why not?" The Dean asked. "There are people out there that will look after him. Besides, how are we supposed to leave? Jump like he did? I don't know about you Monty, but my body wont stand for that." "Just lower the building!" "What, onto an interstate?" the dean chuckled. "Move the building, then. Something!" "You know we cant move the building. We can only go up and down." Trey shifted his footing, his leg was going to sleep. He cursed himself as his knee knocked on the door. The sound went unnoticed in the din. "Well we have to do something!" "You still have yet to explain why Mr.Montgomery!" The Dean said, his voice containing a hit of annoyance. "Why?! Have you forgotten the principle on which school is run?" "And what principle is that?" This time Trey noted a sense of sarcasm intertwine with annoyance. "The only people that can see it are the people that know about it. What do you think were to happen if Logan told somebody about this building? I'm seeing a domino effect." A moment of silence punctured the argument like a needle. "I see your point Monty..." The scraping of chairs against metal alerted Trey that it was time to move. He shot up and grabbed Ron's hand. Together, they raced down the hallway to their room. Panting, they ran into their room. Ron crashed down onto the crib, his chest heaving. Trey first made sure the door was locked before he followed suit. "Logan's alive?" Trey asked, addressing the most pressing issue. "I-i don't know." Ron panted. "Sounded like it though." A moment passed where the room was silent save for the ragged breathing of the two boys. "What's an interstate?" Ron asked. Trey shrugged. "What people were they talking about?" The two were completely flummoxed. "I don't like this..." Trey said, trailing off. "...I'm going after him." Trey was momentarily surprised at the silence of Ron. He thought Ron would yell at him not to go. Ron nodded. "I knew that the moment you asked if he was alive...I'm coming too." |
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