skypaparazzi
Contributor
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- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Babyfur
I, like many who were dealt this peculiar hand of cards, had extended periods of struggling with my desires in the past. More recently I have gained some experience and insight that I think can help guide others when presenting their kink to a romantic partner. I believe that trying to find an openminded partner who you get along with and then introducing your kink to them is a much better plan than desperately trying to find someone who is already into it. I'm looking at you extremely creepy tumblr "daddies": STOP IT. Don't be so disrespectful.
I hope for this post to be relevant regardless of gender or orientation, but for the record I'm a guy who's very mostly into girls (like the majority of people with this kink). I've come around to the somewhat harrowing idea that my fetish is a potent enough part of my sexuality that I just can't date someone who completely refuses to participate. With my first serious girlfriend, I did pretty much everything wrong. My pitch to her was basically "hey, there's this thing you have to do for me to turn me on and I know it's weird and gross and it sucks, so I'm really sorry that you have to put up with it." She was openminded and wore occasionally for me, but that was exactly the problem - it was always a one sided thing. She was doing something that she didn't want to do to please me, partly because I had presented it as a bad terrible thing. Needless to say, this didn't lead to a healthy sexual relationship.
My next partner gave me the key - she knew that you need to present your kink in a positive light. Describe to your partner what you like about it, why it's a fun, harmless, thing, and how it brings you so much joy and pleasure.
Side note: If you don't currently like it, get over yourself and start liking it, because it's really just harmless fun. I don't want to trivialize the pain a fetish can put its master through because I used to suffer as well, but you need to stop thinking of it as a bad/annoying/weird thing that you have to deal with. You need to get your head around the fact that it's just an extra bonus facet of your sexuality that your partners wouldn't get a chance to play with if it weren't for your wonderful graciousness exposing them to this sort of new next-level entertainment. Anyway.
Here's the rough playbook that has worked for me for three additional partners after getting emotionally close and feeling comfortable having unguarded, intimate conversations. If you first bring this up when you and your partner are rolling, it will go more smoothly.
Hey, do you have any unusual sexual interests?
Um, yeah I like getting my hair pulled and tied up but nothing too out there, do you?
Oh I have a fetish actually and it can be pretty fun. I'm kind of into, um, pee.
Oh that's cool! Like you peeing or me peeing?
Well both, I'm just turned on by the idea of it for some reason. Not sure why but I've always had this interest, I used to struggle but now I just see it as harmless fun. It just feels so good, that nice feeling of relief.
That does sound fun! Want me to pee on you, like in the shower or something?
Haha yeah that would be awesome! Actually, I have these really neat underwear that you can pee in that feel amazing to wear. They're really soft and have all these interesting elastics everywhere that hug you in a very comforting way. And obviously it feels incredibly great if you wet them, but it's ok if you don't feel comfortable with that. And they're the best with my Hitachi magic wand!
Oh neat can I try some on?
(yay)
I highly recommend always discreet for this first exposure, they're comfortable dry or wet, cute (but I think goodnites run a risk of being too much), and small/trim. Way better for easing someone into it than flopping out a massive M4 or something. I also avoid the "d word" and just use "padding."
A caveat: now that you've got an awesome girlfriend who loves diapers just like you, be careful. Don't ask your partner to wear or bring up padding too much! Even if you want it involved in every intimate interaction it's important to gauge her reactions and comfort level, and err on the side of being conservative with your requests. I have made the mistake of overwhelming my partners with this before - whenever possible, let her lead the dance. And you better be doing everything she likes, especially if she has kinks too. Put the effort in and don't be selfish.
Also, everyone finds it very hard to pee in padding at first - be careful not to make her feel bad or like she's disappointing you if (when) she's unable to go. She can try sitting on the toilet, but keep it low pressure and be willing to give up if it's really just not happening.
I initially wrote this as a reply to a thread about coming out to a partner, but I decided to just make a new thread to brew up a discussion. I hope I inspire a more positive outlook and give you new courage to share your interest.
Would anyone like to share anything that has worked well for them in the past, or went disastrously?
I hope for this post to be relevant regardless of gender or orientation, but for the record I'm a guy who's very mostly into girls (like the majority of people with this kink). I've come around to the somewhat harrowing idea that my fetish is a potent enough part of my sexuality that I just can't date someone who completely refuses to participate. With my first serious girlfriend, I did pretty much everything wrong. My pitch to her was basically "hey, there's this thing you have to do for me to turn me on and I know it's weird and gross and it sucks, so I'm really sorry that you have to put up with it." She was openminded and wore occasionally for me, but that was exactly the problem - it was always a one sided thing. She was doing something that she didn't want to do to please me, partly because I had presented it as a bad terrible thing. Needless to say, this didn't lead to a healthy sexual relationship.
My next partner gave me the key - she knew that you need to present your kink in a positive light. Describe to your partner what you like about it, why it's a fun, harmless, thing, and how it brings you so much joy and pleasure.
Side note: If you don't currently like it, get over yourself and start liking it, because it's really just harmless fun. I don't want to trivialize the pain a fetish can put its master through because I used to suffer as well, but you need to stop thinking of it as a bad/annoying/weird thing that you have to deal with. You need to get your head around the fact that it's just an extra bonus facet of your sexuality that your partners wouldn't get a chance to play with if it weren't for your wonderful graciousness exposing them to this sort of new next-level entertainment. Anyway.
Here's the rough playbook that has worked for me for three additional partners after getting emotionally close and feeling comfortable having unguarded, intimate conversations. If you first bring this up when you and your partner are rolling, it will go more smoothly.
Hey, do you have any unusual sexual interests?
Um, yeah I like getting my hair pulled and tied up but nothing too out there, do you?
Oh I have a fetish actually and it can be pretty fun. I'm kind of into, um, pee.
Oh that's cool! Like you peeing or me peeing?
Well both, I'm just turned on by the idea of it for some reason. Not sure why but I've always had this interest, I used to struggle but now I just see it as harmless fun. It just feels so good, that nice feeling of relief.
That does sound fun! Want me to pee on you, like in the shower or something?
Haha yeah that would be awesome! Actually, I have these really neat underwear that you can pee in that feel amazing to wear. They're really soft and have all these interesting elastics everywhere that hug you in a very comforting way. And obviously it feels incredibly great if you wet them, but it's ok if you don't feel comfortable with that. And they're the best with my Hitachi magic wand!
Oh neat can I try some on?
(yay)
I highly recommend always discreet for this first exposure, they're comfortable dry or wet, cute (but I think goodnites run a risk of being too much), and small/trim. Way better for easing someone into it than flopping out a massive M4 or something. I also avoid the "d word" and just use "padding."
A caveat: now that you've got an awesome girlfriend who loves diapers just like you, be careful. Don't ask your partner to wear or bring up padding too much! Even if you want it involved in every intimate interaction it's important to gauge her reactions and comfort level, and err on the side of being conservative with your requests. I have made the mistake of overwhelming my partners with this before - whenever possible, let her lead the dance. And you better be doing everything she likes, especially if she has kinks too. Put the effort in and don't be selfish.
Also, everyone finds it very hard to pee in padding at first - be careful not to make her feel bad or like she's disappointing you if (when) she's unable to go. She can try sitting on the toilet, but keep it low pressure and be willing to give up if it's really just not happening.
I initially wrote this as a reply to a thread about coming out to a partner, but I decided to just make a new thread to brew up a discussion. I hope I inspire a more positive outlook and give you new courage to share your interest.
Would anyone like to share anything that has worked well for them in the past, or went disastrously?