Introducing diapers to an asexual individual

Good afternoon,

A very close friend of mine identifies as asexual. She is very timid and shy to any form of affection from anybody and always has been for as long as I've known her (5+ years). I never really put the pieces together but I've been spending more time with her recently and she has very babyish tendencies. She likes to color in coloring books and talk like a small child without really realizing shes doing it. Granted, I'm a DL and not an AB/Little so those are some traits I consider an AB/Little having. In terms of her sexual kinks, she is very vanilla and can guarantee she has no idea what an AB/DL even is. Her life is very stressful; full time job and school and doesn't rely on anybody else to sustain her. 21 years old. As a DL who is demisexual myself, I have a slight feeling that she would enjoy wearing diapers as a stress relief or to self satisfy a desire she can't feel with other people. I already have a nonchalant way of bringing up the diaper discussion with her and very casually suggesting she may like to try it herself. We are both very trusting of each other and what each others thoughts are, so her response wouldn't be of disgust. I'm posting this here as an open discussion to toss ideas or advice around for a situation such as this or how to go about it.

Thank you all, have a wonderful day

As good as an idea as it may be, I would make sure that you're introducing it to her for the right reasons. I may sound rude in saying that, but even the best intentions may have some subconscious thought behind them.

Legolas said:

As good as an idea as it may be, I would make sure that you're introducing it to her for the right reasons. I may sound rude in saying that, but even the best intentions may have some subconscious thought behind them.

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Thank you for bringing this point up. I meant to hit on this in my opening post.

No ulterior motives behind this. We never had a connection that was anymore than that of being friends and as stated, she is asexual and I am demisexual, neither of which we are attracted to one another. I am type of person that goes out of my way to try and accommodate people I care about and do everything in my power to see them happy.

akm44 said:

Thank you for bringing this point up. I meant to hit on this in my opening post.

No ulterior motives behind this. We never had a connection that was anymore than that of being friends and as stated, she is asexual and I am demisexual, neither of which we are attracted to one another. I am type of person that goes out of my way to try and accommodate people I care about and do everything in my power to see them happy.

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Very good to hear! I really wish you the best, and hope you are successful in your pitch!

I have little experience with introducing uninterested parties to diapers. I'm curious as to why you would think this would be of any assistance? I have a deep-seated desire for diapers but they don't reduce stress for me, other than in the way that doing something pleasureable might. I recognize that for a significant number of ABDLs, stress reduction from diapers appears to be a thing but those are ABDLs and not just someone off the street. In short, I'm curious as to why you think diapers in particular would have any theraputic benefit.

Trevor said:

I have little experience with introducing uninterested parties to diapers. I'm curious as to why you would think this would be of any assistance? I have a deep-seated desire for diapers but they don't reduce stress for me, other than in the way that doing something pleasureable might. I recognize that for a significant number of ABDLs, stress reduction from diapers appears to be a thing but those are ABDLs and not just someone off the street. In short, I'm curious as to why you think diapers in particular would have any theraputic benefit.

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hi Trevor,

I am using myself as a bar of measure to determine the likely hood of somebody I know having similar likes as myself. Everybody wears diapers for various reasons; what might be a form of sexual foreplay to one person may be completely therapeutic to another person. I tend to identify with the later example. Diapers I use to unwind and take my thoughts off of the world and relax. I agree with you that introducing diapers/AB to somebody off of the street would not really be feasible but that is not the situation I described above.

akm44 said:

hi Trevor,

I am using myself as a bar of measure to determine the likely hood of somebody I know having similar likes as myself. Everybody wears diapers for various reasons; what might be a form of sexual foreplay to one person may be completely therapeutic to another person. I tend to identify with the later example. Diapers I use to unwind and take my thoughts off of the world and relax. I agree with you that introducing diapers/AB to somebody off of the street would not really be feasible but that is not the situation I described above.

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I still don't really see the link. Plenty of people like a variety of childish things, I don't think they're in denial about diapers. If you choose to pursue it, I hope it goes well.

Trevor said:

I still don't really see the link. Plenty of people like a variety of childish things, I don't think they're in denial about diapers. If you choose to pursue it, I hope it goes well.

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This is exactly the point I'm trying to convey about this friend of mine. She is so vanilla that she wouldn't be able to be in denial about something she doesn't even know is a "thing" (AB/DL).

akm44 said:

This is exactly the point I'm trying to convey about this friend of mine. She is so vanilla that she wouldn't be able to be in denial about something she doesn't even know is a "thing" (AB/DL).

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Denial was probably the wrong word. I questioned it to myself after I posted. I don't think that's how it works. I didn't need to have diapers explained to me. It's not a question of vanilla vs. not, it's the fulfillment of a desire. We do hear of people who are led to this by partners who come to enjoy it on their own, but it's pretty rare, even for us. I don't think these things are objectively associated.

Trevor said:

Denial was probably the wrong word. I questioned it to myself after I posted. I don't think that's how it works. I didn't need to have diapers explained to me. It's not a question of vanilla vs. not, it's the fulfillment of a desire. We do hear of people who are led to this by partners who come to enjoy it on their own, but it's pretty rare, even for us. I don't think these things are objectively associated.

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I understand what you're saying but will have to respectfully disagree, at least with my own personal situation. I never had a natural desire to always want diapers, I had never even heard of the ABDL community until late in my teenage years when I was researching fetishes (yes, I was a dork ha!). After looking into diapers and the community of DL's out there, I figured it would be something I could engage in with myself and with relative ease of procuring diapers, I just really learned to love wearing them. They bring me comfort and joy more so than a sexual satisfaction. I realize there are many AB/DL's that since from their earliest memory they wanted to wear diapers or be a baby, but that was not my case.

You know her and probably quite well where as we don't know her at all, so it would be difficult to advise you as to whether this is a good idea, and if it would reduce stress for her. The thought I had was that if you haven't told her you wear diapers, you would probably be revealing that to her. I'm guessing that would be your fist step. This opens a door that once you go through, there's no going back.

I tend to agree with Trevor that there doesn't seem to be a lot of evidence that she would enjoy wearing diapers. There's a big stretch between acting childish, coloring in coloring books, and wanting to wear diapers. But like I said, you know her better than we do.

I don't know if it will help, but I'm on the verge of telling a coworker my kink because I know she/ her boyfriend are very kinky. We were having a conversation about sex and our one coworker was saying how her one friends had a boyfriend that was into water sports. Me and her looked at each other smiling and in unison we were like "that's nothing" we were laughing at her vanilla sex imaturaty. Being the kind of guy I am tho I can't out myself without verification of them keeping my secret, so for now I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Hey it just might be therapeutic we don't ever really know until we try.
Somebody some where thought barbiturates should have a go and they evolved in to the less potent Benzo's, and at the same time we found out anxiety is a huge epidemic.
My long winded way of saying everything started somewhere.
I mean diapers are needed when young or very old we just happened to be early adopters of the treatment we will need when old ,and really enjoy them well we can.

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This is just my 2¢, but my fiancé baby talks all day and night to me, and does babyish things as well. She treats me like her 'daddy' sometimes, but the big catch is that she would never ever call me daddy, does not identify as a little in any way, and would never want to wear a diaper on her own.

She knows all about me and my being a DL, and she is still not into even considering that. One night, while we were drunk, I laid it out on the table and asked if she would like to try being a little, as she 'showed tendencies' of possibly enjoying it. Believe me, she wasn't into it whatsoever and wasn't comfortable with me offering that. This is my fiancé we are talking about here, not my friend that identifies as an asexual.

My thinking is that vanilla/clueless or not, your friend would have an inkling about this if she was interested. If you value your friendship, I wouldn't offer any such things like diapers.

Good Luck!

Thank you for the input everybody, it offers great perspective. Hopefully I will see her this weekend and will gauge the whole DL topic with her.