I'm currently seeing a counselor and I'm here to tell you, it's been a hellish journey for me. Does anyone have any idea what it's like to actually look at life through the eyes of the "child" you've been for years, only to have to grow up rapidity in a years' time? I was extremely ignorant for years and even as I type this now, I still have a lot to learn. I've had to learn that you can't control the feelings of others. I've had to learn that experiences that might have been simple to me, may not be as much to the next person. I've had to learn that everyone has some sort of problem or issues going on, no matter how great they can carry themselves. I had to stop mind reading and thinking people had a problem with me for one reason or another and even worse, I had to learn to stop worrying what people thought about me at all. This might sound like simple stuff to most, but there's other problems I never realize I had, that once I came to terms with them, I've been having a really rough way to go.
To get back on topic though, AB/DL has played a significant part in my life and I couldn't tell my story if I left it out. Not only do my counselor know about it, we also have conversations about it from time to time as a primary focus. I once read a post which said "unless you are actively looking to rid yourself of AB/DL, then you are probably wasting your time seeking therapy." I don't know if I believe all that, but I can tell you this, I've been in the worse depression I've ever been in my life. At one point just over a month ago, I tried using the "Prozac" I was given to commit suicide; hell, I've been taken off it ever since and I still think everyday "which tree should I hit to end this all." AB/DL along side video games (and work, when things are going well) are the only three that distract me just enough to take my mind off ending my life.
AB/DL is the biggest portion which relieves my stress, but it came with a cost. Although all of my friends and family know about it, I don't get to do it much, because I live next door to my in-laws, who (although I love them to death), won't give me a full day to myself most of the time and I usually find myself "on call" for one thing or another on my days off. This has led to an alarming increase of my infantilism getting out of hand, especially while I was on "Prozac." I constantly pray to God or wish for aliens to return me back to infant form (normally I would never type something like that here, because I'd probably get my head ripped off for it, but life is different for me now and instead of running from problems, I try to address them). Within the past two years, I've created two Facebook accounts regarding my "baby" side, which a good number of my co-workers are on, with the risk of losing less than a handful. I've thrown myself two "baby" themed parties which they seemed to really enjoy, but the "worse" of it all, was while on "Prozac", I came out as an adult baby on my vanilla profile and while I didn't get into big trouble for it, I didn't hear the end of it from family members. Which............is funny now that I think back on it, because everyone around my age group absolutely loved it, but that's besides the point. Anyway, the very next day I got up and thought about what I did and at that point, is when I tried to commit suicide, because I wasn't sure just how much I had fucked up my life and I just knew I failed the family members who were concerned about me. The worse part is, everyday since that dark morning, I constantly wonder if it was "me" who felt the need to be "out" or if it was it the influence of the medication and to be blunt honest, I really don't have a clue ether way, which scares me.
My counselor knows about everything I just posted here and then some, to say the very least and it's been a God send that I could talk to her and tell her things I probably wouldn't tell God himself. So my point is, if it plays a huge part of your life, it's not like a counselor could go back and discus these matters with someone else, as I was told I shouldn't hold anything back and I'm extremely happy I didn't. Normally I'm way too shy to talk about such things and for that, my counselor came up with the idea of writing, which has become a major communicate tool for me, to be able to "get out" exactly what I want to say, without feeling self-conscious about it. I don't know about others here who have had the guts to tell their counselors about AB/DL, but as comfortable as I am with my counselor now, for some reason it still feels like a taboo subject, but she's awesome and every open-minded in her "view" of things.
Bottom-line, if it's not a major problem or if it doesn't tie into any issues which you are there to see your counselor in the first place, then if that wasn't the case for me, I probably would have never brought it up, which is my adult way of thinking. Playing devil's advocate with myself though, knowing the state of mine I'm in, I'm so worse off with AB/DL dangerously trying to take over my life, I most likely would have brought it up to the counselor, just knowing that I could have a casual conversation about it, for no given reason and to consider the fact that these session are "pay for", it would be pretty stupid of me.
I can't tell anyone what to say or what not to say to their counselors, because it's not my right or my business. In my case though (and I'm sure if you made it this far), as you can see, I have a MAJOR reason to.
I hope this helps and I'm God awful sorry if this became a rambling mess.