Questioned About a Package

So I'm stuck at home living with controlling, overbearing parents. For an example of how controlling, two years ago when I decided to learn how to swim at the local YMCA, they tried to talk me out of it. I heard excuses like ''You have a heart condition'' (I have a fast pulse) and ''What if you get water up your nose?'' Well, I almost let them get to me, but didn't; I stood up for myself, took the lessons, and love being in the pool. Yesterday I had to apply for a job I don't want because they bugged me about it - and have an interview tomorrow which I don't really want either.

Today I got a package from Amazon containing a pack of Abena L4's and a PAW Patrol plushie. My parents were both home at the time; my mother was in the bathroom, but my father was at the front door as I came back inside with the box. He thought it was something he ordered but didn't question me when I said it was for me.

So my parents left and went grocery shopping, but when they came back, I got interrogated.

Mother: ''What did you get in the mail today?''
I: ''Comic books.'' (These are really the only thing I can say that I really won't be questioned too much about.)
Father: ''Comic books? In that big of a box?''
I: ''Well I ordered a lot and Amazon uses a big box anyway.''
Mother: ''What kind of comic books?''
I: ''My Little Pony ones mostly.''

They might be a bit suspicious, but I'm not going to worry too much. Sucks enough putting up with them.

Sorry about the parents. But yeah, Amazon uses huge boxes. I once ordered a cable for my phone. Came in a box so big, that I could almost fit in it. Talk about a waste. They could have used an envelope or small box.

I'm not here to tell you or anyone else how to live your life, really I'm not. That said, if you're old enough to post here (18+), you're an adult. Stand up to your parents. If you don't, they will continue to look at you and treat you like their little kid. Show them you're an adult, and they'll treat you like one. If you don't like the jobs they are "making" you apply for, find a job you do like, apply, and work there.

BabyCorry said:

I'm not here to tell you or anyone else how to live your life, really I'm not. That said, if you're old enough to post here (18+), you're an adult. Stand up to your parents. If you don't, they will continue to look at you and treat you like their little kid. Show them you're an adult, and they'll treat you like one. If you don't like the jobs they are "making" you apply for, find a job you do like, apply, and work there.

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Plus 1. You're an adult. Tell them it's none of their business what's in the box. Also, find your own job that you like. I'd be hard pressed to see you getting a job you don't want - as an employer - that stuff comes through interviews.

ff my soapbox:

Aww hey I know exactly how you feel, because I have wanted to wear so much recently, I just had to have Nappies delivered to my parents house, the desire to wear Nappies is so strong lately (it seems when I am depressed and nervous etc I want to be in Nappies more). At the end of the day, your parents have no right to question your parcel(s), you deserve your own privacy and should just be able to take your parcel to your room and like you said just say they are comics. I pray with all my heart you are ok and get to wear a Nappy, it is all worth it once you have one on, all super comfy, snuggly, cosy, warm and everything else I just wish everybody would accept that a lot of people want to wear Nappies for comfort, Nappies are so lovely, I love mine with all of my heart and am a very proud Diaper Lover. If only I had a sweet lady to cuddle with in my soft comfy Nappy I have a big Teddy Bear that I cuddle when I need comforting I really hope you enjoy getting to wear a Nappy buddy, I am in the exact same situation as you and just wish I could help.

Stay nice and Snuggly, cosy and comfy in your cute Nappy Nap Nap

Well easier said than donea lot of person's say stand up to parent's well it's there house there rules .
Now yes your 23 year's old you know them better then me others don't eather.
They do care for you but when you move out then your free of the control.
We all can't afford to live on our own the way every thing costs this day and age.
Some time's when you follow some one's advice it can back fire.
Take care be careful when you give advise it can get very bad when you dont know how things are you cant know

BabyCorry said:

I'm not here to tell you or anyone else how to live your life, really I'm not. That said, if you're old enough to post here (18+), you're an adult. Stand up to your parents. If you don't, they will continue to look at you and treat you like their little kid. Show them you're an adult, and they'll treat you like one. If you don't like the jobs they are "making" you apply for, find a job you do like, apply, and work there.

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babybobby said:

Plus 1. You're an adult. Tell them it's none of their business what's in the box. Also, find your own job that you like. I'd be hard pressed to see you getting a job you don't want - as an employer - that stuff comes through interviews.

ff my soapbox:

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I figure refusing to tell them what's in the package is only going to heighten their suspicions. Although I did once tell my mom what I did online was none of her business when she asked me, boy that was a pretty awkward moment.

The thing about jobs is I can't get any I'm remotely interested in. Seeing I've only had one temporary job in the over four years since finishing high school, they're tired of me being unemployed and don't really care if I want the job or not.

BabyCorry said:

I'm not here to tell you or anyone else how to live your life, really I'm not. That said, if you're old enough to post here (18+), you're an adult. Stand up to your parents. If you don't, they will continue to look at you and treat you like their little kid. Show them you're an adult, and they'll treat you like one. If you don't like the jobs they are "making" you apply for, find a job you do like, apply, and work there.

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Problem there is, they could justifiably at that point say "you're an adult, so start paying us rent or get out". As long as you're living at your parents, eating their food, etc.. imo you have very little "rights" (both legally or righteously). Once you're legally an adult, their responsibility to take care of you ends in the eyes of the law, and any more support they provide is entirely their decision to give (or take away). If they respect your privacy/give you space/treat you as an adult/etc, great! I imagine my parents would .. but if they don't and want to hassle you about what your bringing into their house or be on your case to get a job, I think that's entirely within their right.

I do agree that the solution is to "show that you're an adult" by finding a job, getting some income, and either working out an arrangement where you are paying some of the bills (in exchange for being treated more as an adult and less as a kid) or straight up moving out on your own.

BoundCoder said:

I do agree that the solution is to "show that you're an adult" by finding a job, getting some income, and either working out an arrangement where you are paying some of the bills (in exchange for being treated more as an adult and less as a kid) or straight up moving out on your own.

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If you're disabled or something of that sort, I can see 23 and at home still. But otherwise, I think the only way you're going to get all the perks of being independent is to actually BE more independent. Until then, you're stuck playing the parent's popular "my house, my rules" game, and have little or no grounds to oppose being bossed around or having little privacy. You didn't say if you were paying rent, that would certainly help tip the balance in that regard.

Not meaning to offend, and if I have I apologize, but I personally have very little experience with living with parents past teens, and really have difficulty relating to the expereiences of those that do. I'd expect most people that never got to deal with that themselves would have difficulty fully understanding what it's like.

KimbaStarshine said:

The thing about jobs is I can't get any I'm remotely interested in. Seeing I've only had one temporary job in the over four years since finishing high school, they're tired of me being unemployed and don't really care if I want the job or not.

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I hope things work out for you but after 23 years of paying and providing everything for you they have a right to be tired of you not taking a job because you're not interested in it. Get a job, move out, then worry about finding your perfect employment. It's how it goes for most everyone. (Not everyone likes their job either, I don't but I still do it)

KimbaStarshine said:

So I'm stuck at home living with controlling, overbearing parents. For an example of how controlling, two years ago when I decided to learn how to swim at the local YMCA, they tried to talk me out of it. I heard excuses like ''You have a heart condition'' (I have a fast pulse) and ''What if you get water up your nose?'' Well, I almost let them get to me, but didn't; I stood up for myself, took the lessons, and love being in the pool. Yesterday I had to apply for a job I don't want because they bugged me about it - and have an interview tomorrow which I don't really want either.

Today I got a package from Amazon containing a pack of Abena L4's and a PAW Patrol plushie. My parents were both home at the time; my mother was in the bathroom, but my father was at the front door as I came back inside with the box. He thought it was something he ordered but didn't question me when I said it was for me.

So my parents left and went grocery shopping, but when they came back, I got interrogated.

Mother: ''What did you get in the mail today?''
I: ''Comic books.'' (These are really the only thing I can say that I really won't be questioned too much about.)
Father: ''Comic books? In that big of a box?''
I: ''Well I ordered a lot and Amazon uses a big box anyway.''
Mother: ''What kind of comic books?''
I: ''My Little Pony ones mostly.''

They might be a bit suspicious, but I'm not going to worry too much. Sucks enough putting up with them.

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It gets easier when you move out.

One day Kimba, one day.

CYBERWOLF said:

It gets easier when you move out.

One day Kimba, one day.

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Jaspercat said:

I hope things work out for you but after 23 years of paying and providing everything for you they have a right to be tired of you not taking a job because you're not interested in it. Get a job, move out, then worry about finding your perfect employment. It's how it goes for most everyone. (Not everyone likes their job either, I don't but I still do it)

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Honestly, I probably will never move out while my parents are still alive unless I moved in with someone else. I get slightly annoyed when people always assume it's the best option. Nowadays when you grow up in a working-class family that can only afford to get you a high school diploma, good-paying jobs that you can live on comfortably are pretty hard to find. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth and gets sent off to college at 18 and then off to a nice job and their own place.

Without knowing objectively how your parents really are...hold the phone. You were allowed to drink alcohol in public BEFORE YOU KNEW HOW TO SWIM?!?! Dude, get through college then move out.

Entity said:

Without knowing objectively how your parents really are...hold the phone. You were allowed to drink alcohol in public BEFORE YOU KNEW HOW TO SWIM?!?! Dude, get through college then move out.

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See my last response in this thread. Not everyone grows up in a household where college is a possibility.

KimbaStarshine said:

See my last response in this thread. Not everyone grows up in a household where college is a possibility.

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I kind of know and remember your story and I think I have a fair idea of who you are. As I recall, you don't have a driver's license? Life can be tough for some people. It's a shame that your parent's house isn't set up as my parents was. They lived in a small cape cod. The attic area had dormer windows and there were two finished rooms, which was my domain as I was an only child. Even so, they still discovered my diapers, had a fit and sent me to see a psychiatrist.

The job may not be something you want, but it may give you a sense of independence. It's also a foot in the door for perhaps a better job.

As for college, is there a junior college near you, because you could make a start by taking just one class. My parents didn't have much money as my mom was a secretary and my dad was a clerk for a natural gas company that supplied n. gas to homes. I went through college with student loans and I worked all four years.

I'm sure your parents realize that they won't be around for ever and so they want you to be at a place where you can support yourself. Life is scary. When I took my first full time job, I was scared and I sucked at it. I was much better at my second job, better at my third and now at this stage in my life, I'm very comfortable in my job.

Rome wasn't built in a day and most of us have gotten to independence by taking, and yes, here it comes, "baby" steps.....sigh. I know your situation is far from ideal. Just take a very big breath on that first day at the job. You're liked on this site so I think you will be liked on the job. Hold your head high and take it one day at a time. As for your parents, I wish they would give you your space as everyone desperately needs that.

KimbaStarshine said:

Not everyone grows up in a household where college is a possibility.

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Not everyone who goes to college was sent their by their parents.. I don't even think it's most at this point. I paid for my own schooling, and student loans are a thing for a reason. Either way you certainly don't need to get a degree to get a decent job.. the trades pay very well and there's plenty of demand.. and vocational school is often much cheaper with various funding programs available.

Either way, moving out on your own may not be the best option now or ever, but at the very least getting a job and having your own income is a big step towards gaining independence. As has been said, if you're basically living entirely at the grace of your parents, you don't really have a leg to stand on when it comes to arguing for more privacy or responsibility.

KimbaStarshine said:

Honestly, I probably will never move out while my parents are still alive unless I moved in with someone else. I get slightly annoyed when people always assume it's the best option. Nowadays when you grow up in a working-class family that can only afford to get you a high school diploma, good-paying jobs that you can live on comfortably are pretty hard to find. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth and gets sent off to college at 18 and then off to a nice job and their own place.

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I didn't go to college. I started at the bottom at the company I'm at and worked my way up. I wasn't able to buy my house until last year at 30 years old. Proposing that everyone else is automatically advantaged over you isn't the right attitude. Work hard and you can make it. The light at the end of the tunnel might be around a bend but you won't get to see it if you don't keep moving forward through the bend.

The other issue is that if I do happen to get a job, I have to be careful I don't make too much money. Because then my mom will likely get kicked off Medicaid, and they pay for all her medications, as she has multiple health issues but doesn't qualify for disability. So I'm looking out for her as much as I am myself.

my mum does the same thing, i have 0 privacy at home! it makes it impossible to keep anything at home that i don't want her finding. be happy that you have your abena's, abstinence is hard also abena's are my fave so i'm very jealous.

KimbaStarshine said:

So I'm stuck at home living with controlling, overbearing parents. For an example of how controlling, two years ago when I decided to learn how to swim at the local YMCA, they tried to talk me out of it. I heard excuses like ''You have a heart condition'' (I have a fast pulse) and ''What if you get water up your nose?'' Well, I almost let them get to me, but didn't; I stood up for myself, took the lessons, and love being in the pool. Yesterday I had to apply for a job I don't want because they bugged me about it - and have an interview tomorrow which I don't really want either.

Today I got a package from Amazon containing a pack of Abena L4's and a PAW Patrol plushie. My parents were both home at the time; my mother was in the bathroom, but my father was at the front door as I came back inside with the box. He thought it was something he ordered but didn't question me when I said it was for me.

So my parents left and went grocery shopping, but when they came back, I got interrogated.

Mother: ''What did you get in the mail today?''
I: ''Comic books.'' (These are really the only thing I can say that I really won't be questioned too much about.)
Father: ''Comic books? In that big of a box?''
I: ''Well I ordered a lot and Amazon uses a big box anyway.''
Mother: ''What kind of comic books?''
I: ''My Little Pony ones mostly.''

They might be a bit suspicious, but I'm not going to worry too much. Sucks enough putting up with them.

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I know exactly how you feel. My parents are extremely controlling. So controlling that I wasn't able to move out until I was married. And even after I married, my mom made me feel extremely guilty for leaving. It was awful. They also always seemed very curious about what I got in the mail. As others have said things will get better when you are on your own. I hope the best for you in the near future!