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Thread: Paraphilic infantilism or autonepiophilia

  1. #1

    Default Paraphilic infantilism or autonepiophilia


    This morning

    I have wock up feel fuzzy in my head. No it's not alcohol, one of my restrictions having a lifestyle of a Little is that I'm not allowed to get drunk. This is because if I do if I get suggestible and silly. And then it is not safe for me as I could find myself in a situation that is not good.

    But I just won't to be "normel" what ever that is. I have been crying this morning.and hugging Peter Rabit alot a long with sucking on pasifer which is making fill better.

    Just need someone to tell me I am a good boy, and everything will be OK.

    The realisation a few days ago that I actually do need looking after. I've been looking after myself for years. But now I have my Paddy. will he stay? can I trust him?

    But every one that I have put my trust in seem to go away. And it heats.

    I kind of wish there was a home where Littles like me could go and hide and we would be care for in the right way.

    Yesterday at last night I haven't worn and I don't really know why. I even went out not padded and I was OK but this morning I was neally wet the bed.
    So this morning I am just wearing a nappy with my spider man cover and a t-shirt.

    Why is this happening to me, why can't I come out of little space.

    Fortunately I don't need to go to work today.
    I would have had to force my self in to at least a middle head space.

    I really can not remember felling the age that i am physically. If I really really push my self I can be a grown up. But I am back in my Little head before I know it.

    Have I lost the plot. I am being really serious.
    Is this Paraphilic infantilism, or autonepiophilia?

    that will getting you Googling.

    Sorry that this is a bit of a bowner.

    Sisi


  2. #2

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    Sisi, I think you are just being who you are. I have done my fair share of research and I think the closest thing that matches the way that I feel is age identity disorder. There aren't too many studies done on age identity disorder but since it is not sexual in the slightest it's really hard to say that it is a sexual fetish and from what I've read from other posts from you it's not sexual in the slightest for you either. I also just could never wrap my head around the whole "adult" thing, I have never been able to identify with the age that I physically am, it just took a long time to come to terms with who I really am.

    As you said for some people it's a lifestyle. The only time that I am an "Adult" is when I have to be and as the years go on, and as I grow more and more accepting of who I am the harder it is to switch on the grown up button and some of my toddlerisms are bleeding into my public life such as I take a small teddy bear to work and I do hold it and hug it when I'm stressed out. I don't think at this point I could ever go back to being a full time adult again and would never want to. If you are happy being a child then be one, you aren't hurting anyone.

    As a little I guess we all have the desire to have someone take care of us but it is a really hard job for the person doing it. We often want more than they are willing to give. It takes a special person to be a caretaker. You have to find someone that is accepting not only of the lifestyle which is hard enough on its own but someone willing to participate and most people involved with this culture are on the smaller side of it, not the ones wanting to take care, especially if it is in a non-sexual way. You seem as though you really need that kind of person in your life and I hope you can find someone to do that for you.

    I'm sorry for the rambling but I've felt like you before, the what's wrong with me feeling. The feeling that maybe I should just grow up and stop all of this but it feels so unnatural that I just can't keep it up for too long. You be you and do your best to be happy. Feel better soon!


  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleAndrea View Post
    Sisi, I think you are just being who you are. I have done my fair share of research and I think the closest thing that matches the way that I feel is age identity disorder. There aren't too many studies done on age identity disorder but since it is not sexual in the slightest it's really hard to say that it is a sexual fetish and from what I've read from other posts from you it's not sexual in the slightest for you either. I also just could never wrap my head around the whole "adult" thing, I have never been able to identify with the age that I physically am, it just took a long time to come to terms with who I really am.

    As you said for some people it's a lifestyle. The only time that I am an "Adult" is when I have to be and as the years go on, and as I grow more and more accepting of who I am the harder it is to switch on the grown up button and some of my toddlerisms are bleeding into my public life such as I take a small teddy bear to work and I do hold it and hug it when I'm stressed out. I don't think at this point I could ever go back to being a full time adult again and would never want to. If you are happy being a child then be one, you aren't hurting anyone.

    As a little I guess we all have the desire to have someone take care of us but it is a really hard job for the person doing it. We often want more than they are willing to give. It takes a special person to be a caretaker. You have to find someone that is accepting not only of the lifestyle which is hard enough on its own but someone willing to participate and most people involved with this culture are on the smaller side of it, not the ones wanting to take care, especially if it is in a non-sexual way. You seem as though you really need that kind of person in your life and I hope you can find someone to do that for you.

    I'm sorry for the rambling but I've felt like you before, the what's wrong with me feeling. The feeling that maybe I should just grow up and stop all of this but it feels so unnatural that I just can't keep it up for too long. You be you and do your best to be happy. Feel better soon!




    Thank you so gland I not the only one.

    And when I read other people's struggles. about Parents and Partners throwing away People's diapers and AB stuff. I think how lucky I am to be able to openly wear nappy's, suck my pacifier brink from a bottle and play as a child with my Lego.

    I think it is because my big brother is a middle him self.

    I have tried to getting him to join the community as a caregiver so he can get advice on looking after me, but he said that this is my thing.

    I have had lots and lots of hugs to day from him and his honesty, that he may not live with me forever. But I will always be his Little. And he will help me if he can.

    He understand why I have constrictions on my life that a normal adult would not have.
    Although he thought they were strange at first, me having a bed time. Not watching some things on the TV. etc. But now he know why.

    So I am a Little. And some time I will get feelings I don't understand and will need help understanding them, and this is where this community comes into its own.

    I love sharing with you guys the ups and downs and challenges that I face in life.

    I was really interested in Little Scouts.

    There is only one place in the UK that AB Little meet, in London. And that's once a month.

    And it doesn't look like something I would enjoy. From the photos. As it seems to be more fetish then lifestyle.

    I know of other U.K AB Littles that I thing would like to meet up and just have fun as a Little no adult all silly grown up games. Just having fun to gather.

    Hope we can getting meets up I hope like 4 a year and do them around the country so that. Everyone gets to go to one that is close to them.

    I know I am putting a UK sleep over in October. And I will suggest the idea then. Hope a many Littles and Middles as possible can come. If you like more details on this please message me.

    OK now I'm rambling so thank you again.

    little Sisi.



  4. #4

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    As for me I never really feel the age I physically am. For instance, I'm turning 20 in about 10 days, but truth be told, I normally feel like I'm 13. When I am preoccupied with say playing with my nieces and nephews, I act even younger. Guess they are right. You are as old as you feel you are -giggles-

  5. #5

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    Question to those that say they don't identify with their age or being an adult, what things don't you exactly identify with? Everything? Responsabilities? Maybe you still feel like you have always felt.

    You see, I think what happens is that there's this idea when we are kids that adults are very different from us, and as we grow and become adults ourselves we think we too are going to change, but the truth is that that big change never really comes, and that adults and children are not that different. And so deep down, everyone, not just abdls by the way, feel like having never grown up, because we don't feel very different, maybe more experienced, mature and wiser sure, but still the same curious, silly, funny kid we always were.

  6. #6

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    I thought this was going to be a thread on Phantom Hangovers. Instead, it makes me want to drink.

    Dude - Get out and meet people. Go be social. Believe it or not, humans can thrive with very little food and water, but, we cannot live without true, original social interaction. (meaning, not in front of the screen!) We need others to feel our best, and, maybe that's what you need to bring you out of a slump.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trisy View Post
    I thought this was going to be a thread on Phantom Hangovers. Instead, it makes me want to drink.

    Dude - Get out and meet people. Go be social. Believe it or not, humans can thrive with very little food and water, but, we cannot live without true, original social interaction. (meaning, not in front of the screen!) We need others to feel our best, and, maybe that's what you need to bring you out of a slump.

    Hi Trisy.

    I don't think you understand what I was in about.

    Yesterday I woke up with a very AB head space. It was strange like I just got to the toilet before I wet. And my ordination has gone. And the moment I put myself back in a nappy becouse I know that I could be having accidents, I started to cry,

    I did not have to go to work fortunately because I found it hard to come out of AB head space. I toke my time and felt my way back to being a what I thought was a Little head space so I could type out a post using my voice to text program. Which help me put my thoughts together.

    Fortunately I have now got a big brother my Paddy. And he was able to help me come back up with lot of talking thing through.

    This morning I am fine well as fine as I get. Back to my usual Little self.

    My real mum when I was growing up for me go to social situations as I hated it. And still do but at least now I can do it without running away and hiding behind the furniture. I have a wide circle of Friends. And While they They not know about ABDL they seem to accepted me the where I am, they tell me that they love my innocence, and the way I see things. I also have some close friends and close work colleagues do know that I am a Little.

    I think that the day before I had gone in to a Middle head space and was getting loads of things done. And Like elastic band That was stretched it snapped back, And I found myself regressed to a very young age And it took me some time to come out of it. Which was kind of scary at the time.






  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zendot View Post
    Question to those that say they don't identify with their age or being an adult, what things don't you exactly identify with? Everything? Responsabilities? Maybe you still feel like you have always felt.
    With me it's more that I honestly don't understand the desire and drive to do what adults like to do, ie. drinking, smoking, watching violence or horror on television, sex or even just driving a car. These were just never things that I wanted or felt the need to do. I am married and I face everyday life as I have to so some of those things I have to engage in to make life run smoothly but I wouldn't do them if I didn't have to.

    I am much happier and more myself when I am doing the things that are expected of a pre-schooler, puzzle books, cartoons even blocks and dolls. These are the things that make me happy. These are the things that make me feel complete, so that is what I mean when I say that I do not identify with my chronological age.

  9. #9

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    Hi sisi!

    Reading your posts I can't help but wonder if you might have some sort of learning or developmental disability. Have you ever been assessed?

    I don't say that be insulting, it just seems like you are having a lot of trouble and that maybe there are resources that could help you.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleAndrea View Post
    With me it's more that I honestly don't understand the desire and drive to do what adults like to do, ie. drinking, smoking, watching violence or horror on television, sex or even just driving a car. These were just never things that I wanted or felt the need to do. I am married and I face everyday life as I have to so some of those things I have to engage in to make life run smoothly but I wouldn't do them if I didn't have to.

    I am much happier and more myself when I am doing the things that are expected of a pre-schooler, puzzle books, cartoons even blocks and dolls. These are the things that make me happy. These are the things that make me feel complete, so that is what I mean when I say that I do not identify with my chronological age.
    Thanks for replying That's very interesting. I ask this out of curiosity and interest to learn more about us. For example, I like doing non little activities very much, including most of those you mentioned. Sometimes i like to just be little. I've never felt like just being one or the other all the time.

    I have this theory that there are 2 subtypes of littles/ab's, those that for them is more of a permanent or constant thing and others where it's more of an occasional escape or activity. Both types are genuine littles but engage in it a bit differently.

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