Just need to seek some advice from fellow ABDL.
Ill start this with a little background on myself. I have been an ABDL since about the age of 14 or 15. Over the years my desires have come and gone. Around age 17 I began to accept that being an adult baby is apart of who I am, and no matter how hard I try I will never be able to ignore my desires. After coming to accept this part of me my binge and purge cycles became less intense.
I am now 25, I struggle with addiction. My drug addiction has had a massive effect on my ABDL desires. Most recently during the last 9 months, 8 of which I spent in active addiction after being recovery and staying clean for 3 months. That 8 months using sent me into an extremely intense ABDL binge. I can honestly say I overindulged in my ABDL desires. Shortly before I got clean again is where an intense mental battle about my ABDL desires started. Even when being diapered I would began to question it to the point that I have found myself battling the most intense purge I have ever had. I do know this purge is because of the drug use.
I feel stuck. Im in recovery again and cleaning my life back up. I know that being an adult baby is apart of who I am, but still find myself feeling...well to be honest I dont know. When I try to wear now I find myself feeling ashamed about doing it and end up taking my diaper off with the thought of burning all my abdl stuff.
How do I get past this purge? I feel like my drug addiction has destroyed a part of me.
I POSTED THIS HERE BECAUSE THE REFERENCE TO DRUG ADDICTION. IF THIS POST IS AGAINST THE RULES PLEASE DELETE IT.