Excuse the attention-seeking-type post, but I guess I have to get it somewhere...
I was fired from my job yesterday. I guess it didn't matter if I was dependable and tried to be helpful, all that mattered to the one boss was putting on a fake smile. Now, I don't exactly understand how friendly you're supposed to be when you hand someone their sandwich. They say thank you, I say you're welcome. Maybe the boss just didn't like me and was looking for an excuse to bring down the ax. Personally I didn't care a whole lot for him either, or the whole business. They gave me a negative impression on my very first day of the job.
While I don't have a formal diagnosis, I feel I may be suffering from Asperger's Syndrome. I have trouble with facial expressions (thus I don't even attempt fake smiling) and eye contact. I tend to flap my hands in private. I seem a bit uncoordinated and learned to do things like ride a bike and tie my shoes later than most kids. I'm finding I prefer the company of elderly people over people my own age.
Thus I feel like I'm being punished for something I have little control over. I can't help it if I tend to be more quiet, introverted, and reserved. Getting a job before was impossible enough, and now it seems my only chance is going to help at the office of the place where my father works, if his boss lets me.
I feel rather alone and was even talking to my stuffed animal for lack of a better ear. I'm having trouble sleeping tonight; it's a little after 6AM and I took some sleeping pills a while ago. I've experienced several traumatic things since my teens and this just adds to it. I'm still coping with the loss of my first love (an online friend) when he decided to stop speaking to me almost a year ago. I can barely think about the euthanasia of my dog in 2011 without crying.