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Thread: Not easily turned on

  1. #1

    Default Not easily turned on

    I was unsure of how to title this, but I could use some advice. I've recently gotten into a relationship and things are good. I told her about my love of diapers and she was accepting though she does not understand it and she doesn't really care for it. So I've realized a problem I am attracted to her there is no question about that, but I can't seem to easily get an erection when just admiring her body or anything. It's hard for me to get it up and I'm unsure why. I will admit I do often masturbate and I usually masturbate to things involving diapers. So the last time we were together I wasn't able to get it up until she let me wear a diaper. In the moment she said the words "go put on a diaper." I found myself rather quickly erect. So I guess my question is what can I do about this? Should I stop masturbating? Should I start masturbating to non-diaper related porn? I could use any and all advice.

  2. #2

    Default

    I think it depends on just how often you are masterbating. If you're overdoing it and it's getting in the way of your real sex life, then cutting back might be a good idea.

    I don't think it's bad that you're not as interested in plain vanilla sex. If she really doesn't like the diapers, but she's incorporating them for you, you may want to try incorporating something in there for her. Relationships are give and take. Make sure you're trying to satisfy her needs as well.

    I'm not accusing you of anything, but I want you to know that I've been in her shoes. My ex was a porn addict. Masterbation was a very frequent thing for him, and it was always in place of me. Your situation may be different, you may not be a porn addict, and I'm definitely not implying that you are, but it sucks not feeling good enough to arouse your partner. Please make sure you're at least trying to make her feel beautiful and be open and honest about your struggle and emphasize that it isn't her fault. But remember it's not yours either! People like what they like! Don't feel bad about it. Just do what you can to make your relationship work.

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope things work out for the two of you! It sounds like you genuinely care about each other. As long as you two are putting in the effort, it'll be okay.

  3. #3

    Default

    I don't think I am able to get aroused, as I have never been "erect" before so I don't know what it feels like

  4. #4

    Default

    I know this is a weird question, but could you be asexual? have you found yourself sexually attracted to guys or girls in the past?

    With me, I'm only sexually attracted to a female if it involves some form of physical touch, and knowing the person well, long story short, human sexuality is weird.

    however with men and diapers, I get a instant erection with wearing, but with females, it involves getting to know them, and than physical touch, yeah its a bit weird.

    I'm guessing it could be the same with you maybe you have to get to know her a little better, asexuals can have romantic attraction to females, but not sexual attraction, thats why I'm guessing you could be asexual? I'm only throwing things out there.

    romantic attraction is separate from sexual attraction, with me I'm sexually attracted to men, but romantically attracted to females with the exception of getting to know them well, than I'm sexually attracted to them, but it takes time.

    Hope that helps a bit, you could just be asexual? or demisexual?

  5. #5

    Default

    I'll make my best effort to respond to everyone so far. Firstly, We're not having sex actually we masturbate next to each other. We both enjoy watching the other masturbate as she share in the fact that the other is feeling good. We also enjoy doing things to each other to help the other masturbate and feel good. So the issue was I wasn't really getting aroused when she was last here or I didn't feel like masturbating. Instead I was more focused on cuddling her and being close to her as we don't often get to see each other as she lives a state away so we have to plan to when we're able to get together. Secondly, I'm certain she turns me on and I'm aroused by her because when we first started dating I was easily aroused by her and even now I have moments where I will masturbate to the thought of her but this past time when we were together I was unable to get a solid erection until she allowed me to wear diapers. I felt really bad about this and so I'm looking for advice. Lastly, I don't think I'm addicted to masturbation I do masturbate often to reduce stress or help me sleep and I do masturbate to diaper related stuff the majority of the time. This makes me think it could be a factor in the reason I couldn't get an erection from her? Maybe I've sort of made myself most readily attracted to diapers?

  6. #6

    Default

    Im in a similar situation. I can still be aroused by females without wearing but i have to "think" or pretend that im wearing. If i think of vanilla sex or even oral, it becomes difficult for me to be aroused.
    Im not totally sure whether you would fall along the asexual spectrum. It might be a good idea to look into it.
    Try giving masturbating or anything sexually related up for a week to recharge. Amazing what it does.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by kashi View Post
    I'll make my best effort to respond to everyone so far. Firstly, We're not having sex actually we masturbate next to each other. We both enjoy watching the other masturbate as she share in the fact that the other is feeling good. We also enjoy doing things to each other to help the other masturbate and feel good. So the issue was I wasn't really getting aroused when she was last here or I didn't feel like masturbating. Instead I was more focused on cuddling her and being close to her as we don't often get to see each other as she lives a state away so we have to plan to when we're able to get together. Secondly, I'm certain she turns me on and I'm aroused by her because when we first started dating I was easily aroused by her and even now I have moments where I will masturbate to the thought of her but this past time when we were together I was unable to get a solid erection until she allowed me to wear diapers. I felt really bad about this and so I'm looking for advice. Lastly, I don't think I'm addicted to masturbation I do masturbate often to reduce stress or help me sleep and I do masturbate to diaper related stuff the majority of the time. This makes me think it could be a factor in the reason I couldn't get an erection from her? Maybe I've sort of made myself most readily attracted to diapers?
    If it's just a one time thing, don't be too worried about it. It happens to everyone once in a while. Penises are weird. Just because it happened once doesn't mean it's going to happen all the time. Have you talked to her about it? I'm sure she will be understanding. Maybe she has even changed her mind and would like to incorporate your diapers into it.

    Again, I'm so sorry for suggesting addiction. That's just the first thing that I thought of given my history. I think it's really sweet that you were more focused on being close to her. To some girls, that means more than anything sexual ever will.

  8. #8

    Default

    I've read all the above and all I can add is what one or two said, don't masturbate the day before she arrives. See how things go then. There could be other reasons if this is your first time with someone else. It can take getting used to, being intimate with someone else. Anyway, try to feel less concerned as to whether things will work and just enjoy the encounter. Everything else will probably take care of itself.

  9. #9
    MitchThaToddler

    Default

    Eat oysters, fap less, and exercise more. If you must fap use a condom to do it. You can trust me I've been in a porno

  10. #10

    Default

    Oysters ? why oysters ? would shell fish in general improve testosterone levels ?

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