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Thread: Losing Control on both ends

  1. #1

    Default Losing Control on both ends

    So last night my wife and I went grocery shopping. I got a sudden urge to pee really bad and I couldn't go for some reason. My wife and I were on the way to the bathroom thinking it might just be that Iím in public. We stopped in the wine section and was reading the back of a bottle of wine and realized I was peeing. I told me wife, we donít have to go Iím fine now. First experience ever like that. After putting the groceries in the truck, I climbed in to my truck and felt like I was dribbling. We wen't back to our place and made dinner. Went to the movies later last night to see Cloverfield. I had 2 large beers throughout the movie and got the urge to pee. No problem, peed. Later into the movie got another urge, for some reason I was in the mind set I have to leave the scene to go to the bathroom. So, I wanted to wait until it was over to use the bathroom, a scary part came up and startled me and I started peeing, again, didn't realize it until after I started. When I got up from the seat in the theater I felt pee come out. I couldn't tell you if it was dribble or when I stopped. It's hard to tell when the diaper is almost maxed out.

    Last night before bed, I had an all of a sudden urge to poop and I wanted to hold it as I just put a fresh diaper on. I was holding it hoping the urge will go away. I bent down on my knees to get a crock pot out from under the counter and I felt a burst of pee come out and as I stood up poop came out. I felt the pressure while I was bending down and felt like it was getting sucked out as I stood up. Not very much just a little bit. I've been pooping twice a day now off and on for a week or so. It's in small amounts and not as messy. Yesterday morning when I pooped, I had the urge and went without giving resistance. My urges are early in the morning and later at night. This morning I woke up to another wet diaper and had another dream about peeing out of a window. I'm coming down with a cold and every time I sneeze/cough, I can feel pee come out I think. I was walking to the kitchen to get some cough syrup and I started to feel poop coming out but was able to clench it cause I just put on a fresh diaper. I had to fight to keep the poop in but after a couple hours the urge went away. I took a nap not sucking my thumb and I woke up to the urge, pooped first and then peed, and went back to sleep. When I woke up sucking my thumb and I was shocked. Why did I just allow it to happen? I woke up like okay, I have to poop and pee, whatever and went back sleep. I don't think I even opened my eyes. Why was I so passive with this?

    I haven't told me wife any of this yet cause I'm actually embarrassed. Am I loosing control? I really feel like I've been practicing control until after I read a post couple days ago by someone asking can you loose control after wearing diapers for a while. I've always treated my diaper as though I had to walk to a bathroom and not just going for convenience. Maybe I haven't been paying attention as much as thought I was and really using it for the convenience. It wasn't until I read that post did I start paying attention to the sudden urges and not know until the middle of peeing. I guess looking back I can see how this happened. I'll be sitting in my office and I feel the urge to go and do it because it was convenient even though I was in the mind set oh, I have to use the bathroom, okay, I can go. After going, I donít think I pay attention because no need to. I go and Iím on my way. Maybe a few times that I'd pee and remember stopping and not initiating it.

    I want to stop eventually wearing diapers cause there are other things I'd like to do with $125 a month. This was just a ĒthingĒ. My wife is excited about it as well as I am but turned into more than that with my anxiety. Iím having issues where when I stop wearing diapers I get anxiety Couple days ago I took shower and put on my underwear that was buried in my closet and I had problems breathing and this bubble in my throat. Plus I felt pressure in my head. So, I put my diaper on, my onsie, and my footed pajamas and Xanax and felt fine ever since. Now I'm afraid to stop wearing. #1 Iím going to have an accident and #2 Iíll be drugged up on Xanax.
    How can I practice control again? I feel that my mind is being trained to be dependent on diapers with anxiety and all. Also feel that I am regressing because, I was never into thumb sucking now I feel like I get the best sleep ever. Donít get me wrong, with this all happening, I enjoy it. I get excited. It feels great. Iíve always fascinated about this day and remember thinking how Iíd never reach this moment. Now, that my wife knows and supports it, why should I care and let this take its course. I donít find diaper an inconvenience at this point.

  2. #2


    Okay, so now I have the flue. This is not fun.....

  3. #3


    Having the flu would explain a lot though having the flu is always a miserable experience. I hope you get over it soon.

  4. #4


    Just saying, my my experiences with the winter flu (which is the norovirus), one often starts to lose control. For me, it was what sparked my IBS-D.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by silentdreamer1996 View Post
    Just saying, my my experiences with the winter flu (which is the norovirus), one often starts to lose control. For me, it was what sparked my IBS-D.
    I was feeling better this morning. I'm starting to regret it though. I'm visiting my project on site and about 2 hrs from my place. All I can say is thank god for diapers.

  6. #6


    Well you all with the flu stay on that side of the screen, during flu season i stay home because i have zero immunity and as i am allergic to eggs can not be vaccinated, i have not had it in years but do remember how everything was coming out of everywhere and it took forever to get over it, so my sympathize to those currently afflicted and dont give a second thought about "losing control" it happens when sick,the diffrence is we have diapers we wear diapers the general public can mess themselves 20 times a day and never say wearing a diaper would make this alot easier!

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