As I enter middle age, I appreciate more and more the wonderful feelings associated with diapers. I also have never really allowed myself permission to fully embrace my little side. It has always made me feel uncomfortable.* I am an adult male, no matter how much I try and convince myself, I have never been able to let that go.
I have been working a lot recently.* Since January, I have only had one day off. My work days are long (>12 hours) stress and missing my family are eating away at me. Even though I am married and have a child, I don't see them. I leave before they wake up and sometimes get home after they are asleep. I have been taking advantage of this by wearing in bed, just to deal with the stress. This is not typically ok, but everyone is asleep, so I put them on and relax, falling asleep to music, or ASMR.
Three nights ago, after a particularly stressful day, I came home late. Everyone was asleep. I showered and freshened up. I had just received some Dry 24/7 diaper samples. The last time I wore them was before the big redesign, so I was anxious to try. They are thick, crinkly and generally perfect. I laid in bed and the stress went away. I was excited about the diaper,* but exhaustion took over and I soon fell asleep. I woke up twice to wet that night. When I woke up before my alarm went off, I just laid there. Me, in a wet, wonderful thick diaper, just taking it all in. All of a sudden I could feel my adult self slipping away. I fought it at first, not understanding what I was feeling, then the tiredness took over. I could feel my inhibited adult self slip away. I curled up under the covers, experiencing a sweet warmth flow over me. I began to get very emotional. I felt the urge to cry before my adult self began to wrest control again. Back to being an adult, I realized what had happened. I was in awe of the power of letting go. I was also sad that I had not let it continue.
Needless to say, this had and continues to have a profound effect on me. I just want to go back to where I was that morning. I have never fully understood the feelings of people that can be little. I got a glimpse of it, and I want more. Wonderful, innocent, care-free.