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Thread: Parents want me to quit - what do i do???

  1. #1

    Default Parents want me to quit - what do i do???

    right, so at some point on an abdl forum a couple years ago i asked someone to message me off-list and put in my email address, which has my name on it.

    suddenly, googling my name brought up a link to an abdl site. (why are these bloody forums indexable by google?????)

    because my parents like to stalk people on google, they found this link, figured out the abdl sn i use on all the sites, googled that, and, well found EVERYthing.

    they also discovered that on my profile i had listed myself as "bi". i think at the time they were more disturbed about the "bi" thing. i also had a profile i never really used on, and that totally freaked them out.

    anyway, after some tension my parents kinda calmed down a bit and moved on, and then i started dating a girl so i guess my parents were convinced i was straight now.

    then about 3 months ago, someone my parents work with who knows me from summer camp googled my abdl handle (it was an OLD summercamp nickname, which i thought was safe since i don't talk to anyone from summercamp anymore and no one still calls me that irl) my parents freaked out, and i had to go through and start changing the screen name on all my abdl websites. they pestered me to go see a therapist, i was living in a small town at the time, and was going to be moving soon, so i was able to just kinda use that as an excuse and put it off so they would leave me alone.

    well, my parents have stalked me again (didn't change my sn on one website cuz i thought this one wasn't google indexable).

    they sent me this email:

    Just for grins I did a bit of research and see that as recently as Feb.18, 2009 you were still on the adult diaper sites. I had hoped that you had been able to stop this behavior. I encouraged you to get therapy when we discussed this many months ago. I have not brought this up because for a while you were going through difficult things with work in Rotorua and did not want to add to your stress. Now that you are settled in Auckland and have more access to therapists, I strongly recommend that you get help to stop wearing diapers and start finding more productive ways to deal with whatever feelings you use the diapers to deal with.
    I also noticed that you still consider yourself to be "bi". I have not brought this up for quite some time either. I thought you were moving in the direction of being heterosexual since you have been involved with Ruth for almost a year and seem to be interested in dating females presently. You also have talked about being married eventually and having a family so I thought you had come to a heterosexual conclusion regarding your sexual identity.
    i didn't reply, then i got a call from them this weekend, and it was horrible and confrontational and my mother kept telling me that i need to get help, that i'm in denail of the problem, that i need to stop going to abdl websites, that i need to choose between being striaght or gay, yeah, it was horrible.

    they said they would talk to me about this again in two weeks.

    i don't know what to do. has anyone else had similar experiences??

  2. #2


    If you are over 18, they have no right to control your life. A person should be allowed to choose their own sexual identity, and should be able to pick the lifestyle they want.

    I think your parents aren't being fair. You do not have to see a therapist as you are not insane.

  3. #3


    But if you live in there house, you have to follow their rules, that's what sucks about living at your parents house.

    It's your choice if you want to go to a therapist, you shouldn't have to go. You parents just want a better life for you and think it's better if you do that.

  4. #4


    I would personally ask them if they think this is better then other vices. such as smoking, drinking or even illegal drugs. Once parents see that the most you can really get is a slight case of diaper rash which is even less of a threat then poison oak they can be somewhat more open minded towards it.

    Sure being in diapers and what not isn't productive but I am willing to bet your parents vices aren't productive either. I am willing to bet that's why they wish you found something to do that's productive.

    Anyway's in the end just ask them what they think is wrong with wanting diapers and baby stuff. They will most likely just end up saying crap that isn't true at all though they believe it to be true.

    In any case you shouldn't let really anything destroy the relationship between you and your parents. Thankfully I never got this sort of talk from my parents, while maybe my mother to a extent but not this badly.

  5. #5


    i am 27, and don't live at home.

    how do i get them off my back?

  6. #6


    fire, already had that discussion with them, they keep insisting its an addiction as bad as drugs. their issue is that they think it will put off a potential partner, lead to a less satisfying or unhealthy sexual relationship with a girl, and that if/when i have children they could discover my nappies and that would disturb them for life.

    they are very big on family values, and a bit conservative in that regard.

    the problem is that these are all somewhat valid issues, some of which i have actually struggled with.

    and the simple "fuck off and let me do what i want and stop snooping" doesn't really work with them... i've tried that.

  7. #7


    Given your age "fuck em", seriously. From what it sounds, they might respond well to you just dropping the issue. Don't shove it in their face, but don't back down (and don't make a stand, either...just don't back down).

    It's funny how they don't seem to understand what 'bi' means AT ALL. Ie., bi people can date whoever! So, if you're dating a girl, doesn't mean you're not bi! lol...stupid parents.

    Don't change...but, for the sake of all things soft, BE SMARTER WITH YOUR SN's!!!!!

  8. #8


    You're over eighteen. Tell them to bugger off, it's your life.
    And if they're really bugging you, you could probably get them into legal trouble for stalking you.
    Harsh, but effective.

  9. #9


    mick, what do you mean? how do you not back down and not make a stand? the problem is that they will continue to bring this up until they're satisfied they've beaten this to death. like they also have issues with me dating women that aren't jewish, and years on they still harass me about that. grrrrrr.........

    they don't understand the "just drop it" concept.

    there's an option of cutting off contact with my parents, or hanging up on them when they confront me with sore topics, but from experience that always just builds even more tension...

    the conversation about being bi yesterday was really horrible. no, they don't "get" it. at one point my mother said i can't go around sticking my penis in whatever orifice i want (yes, exact words, actually repeated several times). they said i should either be straight and get on with being straight or be gay and get on with beign gay. i think her issue is that i guess being bi leaves the uncertaintly for her if i'll get married to a woman and have the traditional family (their wish) or wind up with a guy and be in an "alternative" family (their fear). i think they either want the good news that i'll be with a woman forever and they can relax, or be with a guy forever and then they can sorta deal with the disappointment. being in the middle and having that uncertainty means they don't know what to do, and thus can't either relax or deal with the disappointment and can only sit there and fret over every next step.

  10. #10


    They legally can't touch you. You don't live in their house. You don't have to follow their rules. There is nothing with you, diapers, or bi.

    If they really think it's that bad, cut off communication. But that might be a little extreme.

    --The Silent Assassin--

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