So, before today, it's been a while since I've posted since Decemeber. In Decemeber I was getting anxiety pretty bad to the point I had to to go to the ER during an anxiety attack thinking I was having a heart attack. Needless to say I was not and just anxiety issues. Dr prescribed me Xanax to control the anxiety and was taking 3 pills a day it was that bad. In the mix of this I told my wife about me wearing diapers and she's supportive. Find out that when I'm wearing diapers, I don't feel the symptoms of anxiety. But when I stop, I get the bubble in my throat, I get anxious, I have issues breathing which leads to my body feeling completely numb. Horrible feeling. Once I take Xanax, this all goes away like nothing happeneds.
Sometime in January I was wanting to go back to not wearing diapers, more like wanting to take a break. Once I put my underwear and jeans on, and walk out the door, I get anxious and back on Xanax. Couple days later wife suggested I put the diapers back on and boom no need for Xanax.
Has anyone ever gone through this? I've been sailing since then wearing diapers and not really addressing the issue. I enjoy wearing diapers and I'm okay to wear through years end. But am I training myself mentally to wear diapers? I have not gone more the 10 minutes (showering) from wearing a diaper since the last time I took Xanax in January. I feel so dependent on diapers now because I don't get anxiety attack that I don't want to stop wearing. I should maybe go through tonight and tomorrow to see if I can go through the day without wearing to see if I get another attack.