Happy Mummy's day

Aww... wish I could spend Mothers' Day with my mum... :-(

I only found out recently that Mothering Sunday (the proper name for Mothers' Day) was the day in the Christian calendar when people would return to their mother church; they would be said to have "gone a mothering". (Well, I found it interesting, anyway!)

It confused me at first ... it's not mothers day here yet lol.

Mothers day is in May, so are we going by national holidays here?

silentdreamer1996 said:

Mothers day is in May, so are we going by national holidays here?

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I believe in the UK it's today.

One thing is for sure though, I wish my mom would've spent more time with me. When I was young she was either golfing, playing Bunco, or at some fancy restaurant. Sure she did spend time with me, but that was normally when I'd come home from grade school crying because I just didn't feel like I could deal with life anymore from all the bullying. She is now in Florida and is rarely home. If only I could be padded up, acting like a little (dressed like one as well), in her arms and being accepted as her little one. If only...A little can dream, am I right?

This is a difficult day for my family. My Mum died when I was quite young, nearly 15 years ago now. But I still love and miss her very much, as all of us do. My Dad lost his Mum a few years back too, so it's a day where we all rely on the support and love we have for one another.

We always phone each other or (if possible) meet up on Mother's Day. I know I'm very fortunate to have had a good relationship with my Mum, and to have happy memories to look back on - but it can still be a bloody difficult day sometimes; especially if I'm already going through a period of low mood or stress.

Personally speaking, and please no one take this the wrong way, I would rather have memories of my mother being good to me and dead, than to remember her as I do now as someone who I can't trust or confide in. She was my hero when I was younger and that was totally shattered for me as time went on. I used to be distraught at the thought of her dying and living without her ... but now .. if it happened ... I would be sad .. but I honestly don't think it would effect me all that greatly anymore. I mean I talk to her maybe a few times a year .. and when I mean talk .. .I mean facebook with a few sentences. In the last 3 years .. I spoke with her on the phone maybe once. She claims she is too busy.

You know what we talk about? Her life and how hard life is with her very nice big house, flat screen tvs in nearly every room, and money to keep buying show and top breed Dogs from over seas.
How on earth she can sit there and complain to me about money is beyond me.

brabbit1987 said:

Personally speaking, and please no one take this the wrong way, I would rather have memories of my mother being good to me and dead, than to remember her as I do now as someone who I can't trust or confide in.

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I think it's pointless trying to establish which of those two experiences is worse to endure, especially as it's impossible to know what it's like either losing a parent or being mistreated by a parent, unless you have been in that situation. I understand what you're saying though. I do think it's especially tough to cope with memories of someone if there is unresolved anger or hurt involved - regardless of whether they're still in your life or not.

Sanch said:

I think it's pointless trying to establish which of those two experiences is worse to endure, especially as it's impossible to know what it's like either losing a parent or being mistreated by a parent, unless you have been in that situation. I understand what you're saying though. I do think it's especially tough to cope with memories of someone if there is unresolved anger or hurt involved - regardless of whether they're still in your life or not.

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Well .. my father passed away .. so I do have experience with both. However, he didn't pass away when I was young ... so it was sort of the same situation of how I am with my Mom at the moment.

And ... no I am not trying to say which one is worse for anyone else. I am only talking about how I personally feel about it. It's why I started with "Personally speaking". In other words, it's worse to me .. and to me alone.

brabbit1987 said:

Well .. my father passed away .. so I do have experience with both. However, he didn't pass away when I was young ... so it was sort of the same situation of how I am with my Mom at the moment.

And ... no I am not trying to say which one is worse for anyone else. I am only talking about how I personally feel about it. It's why I started with "Personally speaking". In other words, it's worse to me .. and to me alone.

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Fair enough. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum being selfish and your Dad passing away. The unfortunate truth is that life is often difficult and very unfair.

I know that a lot of people don't have that foundation, and whilst that makes me grateful for what I have and had from my parents, that lack of guidance and care from a caregiver is a really difficult reality of life for many people.

Also, I didn't phrase it very well, but I meant that I couldn't make comparisons between the experiences of losing a parent and being ignored/mistreated by a parent, as I had only been through one of them. That wasn't aimed at you, as obviously I had no idea of your circumstances.

Sanch said:

Fair enough. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum being selfish and your Dad passing away. The unfortunate truth is that life is often difficult and very unfair.

I know that a lot of people don't have that foundation, and whilst that makes me grateful for what I have and had from my parents, that lack of guidance and care from a caregiver is a really difficult reality of life for many people.

Also, I didn't phrase it very well, but I meant that I couldn't make comparisons between the experiences of losing a parent and being ignored/mistreated by a parent, as I had only been through one of them. That wasn't aimed at you, as obviously I had no idea of your circumstances.

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I see, and ya .. totally agree.

sisi said:

So sorry for the confusion it muther day hear in the UK.
Didn't think about other countries.
Hee, hee.
It been well over 10 years set my mum died and I still miss her.
Ok now I crying so I stop hear.
Sisi

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Hugs Sisi. My mom died when I was in the younger half of my 20s. There's so much I wish she could have seen. My dad died two years before my mom did. He never met our first child but my mom did. She was dying of cancer, and she would hold him for hours.

I envy those of you who have or had great mothers, mine was and still is at 87 a sociopathic bitch who drives pleasure by making those around her miserable.