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Thread: DLs and relationship life

  1. #1

    Default DLs and relationship life

    Hey guys! So i am just wondering how some of you DLs have "came out" to your non abdl partner?

    How did you introduce it/what do you recommend?

    What were their reactions as soon as you mentioned it?

    I am just looking for insight on how to go about it. Im not currently in a relationship but may consider it sometime down the line and just want to get my thoughts straight.

  2. #2

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    I told my girlfriend (now wife) about eleven years ago when we were teens, and I probably did it in the worst way possible: I was nervous, lacked any semblance of confidence and pretty much just blurted it out randomly as a confession of my innermost desires. The result: she thought I was pretty crazy and that it was a big deal. She was pretty much silent for like ten minutes. Obviously it wasn't a deal breaker but boooy would I do things differently a second time around.

    Can't say what would be the perfect method, but for other kinks, I've tried easing her into it. For instance, with chastity, I started with having her tease, then a few months later, do a little hurting, talking dirty, and eventually brought up chastity devices. She's actually very tolerant and participatory in that now! I think my biggest lesson: dont make a big deal of it. If you look nervous, she'll think it's some big deal to be ashamed of. Also, go real slow.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrbuckeye87 View Post
    I told my girlfriend (now wife) about eleven years ago when we were teens, and I probably did it in the worst way possible: I was nervous, lacked any semblance of confidence and pretty much just blurted it out randomly as a confession of my innermost desires. The result: she thought I was pretty crazy and that it was a big deal. She was pretty much silent for like ten minutes. Obviously it wasn't a deal breaker but boooy would I do things differently a second time around.

    Can't say what would be the perfect method, but for other kinks, I've tried easing her into it. For instance, with chastity, I started with having her tease, then a few months later, do a little hurting, talking dirty, and eventually brought up chastity devices. She's actually very tolerant and participatory in that now! I think my biggest lesson: dont make a big deal of it. If you look nervous, she'll think it's some big deal to be ashamed of. Also, go real slow.
    How is your wife with the whole diaper thing now does she ever diaper you or anything of that sort etc....

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbradshaw90 View Post
    How is your wife with the whole diaper thing now does she ever diaper you or anything of that sort etc....
    It's alright, we've sort of agreed on what times I'm allowed to be diapered around her and what times are off limits. She doesn't like it but we're still a very happy, loving and otherwise thriving couple. One more point: don't go forcing anything :X I was overbearing one time and insisted on wearing them to bed when she didn't want me to; I'm now forbidden from ever wearing them to our bed at night. Disaster.

    She's let me diaper her a few times, but I don't know if she'll ever be ok with diapering me . . . I havn't brought it up, honestly. On a tangent, we found out she's pregnant today soooooo here's to having one more diapered rump in the house!

  5. #5

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    My current partner found out when I wet her bed. I had been waking up with some dampness in my shorts but never really thought it was going to be an on going problem. Then one night I went to stay over at her place. The thought of wetting never crossed my mind when I went to sleep. Next morning I had wet the bed, more than any other morning before this I was wet and so was she. I paniced got up and went to the bathroom to see that my nylon shorts were so wet that they were dripping from the cuff.

    I went back to her room and got another pair of shorts and I woke her up to tell her I had wet the bed. She was shocked at first but then she said it's ok we'll clean it up. After I cleaned the mattress and put the sheets in the wash we sat down to have a talk about what happened. It was her idea that I go down to the pharmacy and buy some protection. All I could get and had the nerve to buy were Tena adult pull up's. That night we talked about it some more and she told me that I should go and see a doctor if it was to continue. I told her I was nervous that it would happen and after telling her about my childhood and when it happened in my late 20's she insisted that I should find out why it's happening.

    Since then she had been great about it and has even brought the nappies into our sexual life as well. So all in all life in a nappy is pretty good for me now. All I have to do is to keep it a secret from our children. It's not something I want them to find out.

  6. #6

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    I had a thing for diapers on and off through my youth, and never gave them a second thought till I started traveling for business and found that Depend diapers were readily available in every town. I was away from home and bored in my hotel room. Then came the Internet, which allowed me to find out that I wasn't alone in this weird feeling/fetish/whatever, and I was hooked. Then I had to tell my wife, to whom I'd been married just about a year. It didn't go well.

    That was about 20 years ago. Today we have an uneasy truce about diapers. We don't talk about them. She knows I wear sometimes when she's not around, but I doubt she knows how often or how much I spend on them (I do freelance voice-over work), but she knows that there's a cabinet in the basement that has my "supplies" in it, and she knows better than to go snooping around in my office too much. My desk is full of diapers and wipes, and I work from home, so I have ample opportunity to use them.

    My wife has clearly decided that she loves me more than she hates the idea of my wearing diapers. She knows they relax me. I doubt very much that she knows that right now, as she sleeps, I'm wearing a Tena Stretch Super, and that's just fine.

    -RMS

  7. #7

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    For each of us, these desires are something different. I reject the idea that everybody ought to come right out with this stuff. On the other hand, if it's your hope or expectation that your partner will embrace your wearing diapers openly, will change your diapers, etc., then bottling up those feelings for years is probably a recipe for disaster. Because introducing strange new dynamics into a long-established relationship is hard, and because acceptance and active involvement are very different things. The latter seems more rare than the former, so if you need the latter, you probably want to gauge your chances early on.

    Generally speaking, I would say:

    • If you want or expect embrace versus mere acceptance, come out earlier rather than later--months as opposed to years.
    • If you want anything at all, make sure your partner knows you pretty well before you come out as a DL. This seems pretty obvious, but the more a person already knows about you, the smaller each additional thing will seem. Come out straight off, and you'll have defined your whole being in terms of diapers. That might be accurate for some, but is probably an exaggeration for most of us.
    • If your relationship is something less than totally happy, coming out is a really bad idea. Strange things make easy scapegoats, and if those strange things are presented as immutable character traits, then the easy solution to all the problems is going to be "I need to get away from this person." Based on conversations here on ADISC, I would suggest that late coming-outs are successful more often than not. I tend to suspect that the disastrous ones are cases of "the straw that broke the camel's back."
    • If diapers are, for you, mostly an accessory to self-stimulation--like porn to your average guy--then take a breath and don't guilt yourself into coming out "because openness". Your average guy isn't telling his girl what sort of porn or other things he gets off on, so why are you special?

    I came out more than a decade into my relationship as a result of my diaper stash being found. My wife has been "accepting", which is as much as I ever hoped for. Diapers remain a mostly private thing for me.

  8. #8

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    If your going to marry it's only fair that you tell her before. I knew my wife was open minded before we married. It did not bother her at all. I would ware in her presents any time no problem. We had sexual fun with them all through out the years. She died in 2012 and we would be going on 40 years together now.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by WABX View Post
    If your going to marry it's only fair that you tell her before. I knew my wife was open minded before we married. It did not bother her at all. I would ware in her presents any time no problem. We had sexual fun with them all through out the years. She died in 2012 and we would be going on 40 years together now.
    I cannot imagine losing my wife of over 42 years together, my late condolences on your loss.

    My wife knew very early ..within the first year that I enjoy wetting, diapers are something that have become more available in the last 25 years then they were in the early years , I was a wetter long long before I was a DL. That being said I Know she doesn't want anything to do with them or any discussion about them.. she is happy that the bed isn't wet 4 or 5 times a week and knows that I am diapered every night. I have always wished she would at least talk with me about them so I could have her understand somewhat.

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