I'm totally depressed right now. So, I have been wearing 24/7 (only for #1 and I often will use the toilet if I'm in public.) for about 7 weeks now and I noticed that ever since doing so, everything in my life has gotten better and it's because they make me feel confident, secure and they just make me feel, well... whole. Everything from work to relationships to my anger, anxiety attacks, insomnia, binge eating episodes and controlling my alcohol consumption have all improved massivilly.
That is until yesterday when I ran out of diapers! I can't get anymore this month either because of how little is going on at work at the moment.
I hadn't even considered this until today but I think I may have an emotional need for them. Because of the following reasons:
1. For me, they are like a wearable hug if that makes any sense. The constant reminder that I'm wearing somehow makes me feel like being in a warm embrace, A safe place. I don't know why.
2. While not I am not IC by any means, I do have a bit of overactive bladder and being legally blind makes finding a restroom difficult sometimes and needing to be lead to the bathroom is embarrassing to me, so just knowing that if I have an emergency and have to go, I have the option to just go, even if I don't take that option, it's there and that makes me feel more secure and more confident and not always worried about finding a restroom.
3. Diapers are a part of me. I just feel "right" when I'm wearing. I feel like "me."
So, does any of this make sense? Is there such a thing as a sort of "emotional" need for diapers? I feel anxious again and just like a lost little boy. I don't know. Then I feel stupid about the whole thing.
Can anyone else relate? I just feel so stupid about this sometimes.