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Thread: Misunderstandings of different terms..

  1. #1

    Default Misunderstandings of different terms..

    I can't help but notice the confusion of the use of terms within this community.. like a barrier that stops one community interacting with another when actually, they are the same community! What I am talking about is the wall between ABDL and DDLG/MDLB/CGL.. Now there is a reason I am writing this.. You see, I believe that ABDL believes DDLG (I will use this gender specific term just because I am writing from my perspective..) is just sexual or a kink, however, there are MANY non sexual DDLG relationships/daddies/littles!

    So I wanted to clarify how I see the terms just to ensure people don't have a fit, because there are A LOT of nonsexual DDLG littles and I feel people misunderstand, even in the ABDL community..

    So the way I look at it is;

    DDLG/MDLB/CGL - Littles, older than babies so lets say older than 2 and their daddy/mommy/caregiver, sure some people are sexual but some are in ABDL too! but some are asexual or not sexual within this relationship. More into toddler things than baby things.

    ABDL - Babies or strictly diaper lovers, mostly younger than 2..

    This is super hard to explain but that is the best I can do..

    DISCLAIMER - This is only my perspective and I am not claiming that that is a correct or incorrect definition. The only reason I have written this is that I feel like I cannot use the term DDLG without it being taken the wrong way dispite this being what I identify with NOT ABDL.. Neither is wrong at all and both are perfectly "normal", however I feel like a little not a baby hence why I use this term.

    Please feel free to tell me to stop my rambling, I just noticed how no one uses these terms.. To be fair, the terms over lap, but I would like to be able to use DDLG without people thinking I am sexual haha

  2. #2

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    I may get this totally wrong, but one impression that I have recently got is that DDLG/MDLB/CGL is more about a relationship dynamic than ABDL. If you simply look a the term, DDLG is a relationship between a DD and a LG, whereas ABDL is not a relationship between an AB and a DL. There is no corresponding term like DDAB or MDAB.

    It seems that historically, AB and DL developed from the idea that either is a fetish that is practiced by one person, where a second person is an (often much desired) option, but not the main focus. I know that this is not necessarily true, but it's an idea that is still somewhat inherent in the term. With DDLG/MDLB/CGL on the other hand, the interaction between the dominant and the submissive part is the very defining element of the kink.

    Having said all that, what is separating ABDL from DDLG/MDLB/CGL is not so much what they do, but rather the fact that they have different labels for themselves that create the impression that they are in fact doing different things. It seems that our times are obsessed with finding precise labels for everything, and as a result, people are retreating to their tiny niches rather than perceiving each other as a community. At one point, we may have labels for ourselves that describe us in the most precise way that is possible. At that time, we will all be communities consisting of just one person.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by eedoo View Post
    I may get this totally wrong, but one impression that I have recently got is that DDLG/MDLB/CGL is more about a relationship dynamic than ABDL. If you simply look a the term, DDLG is a relationship between a DD and a LG, whereas ABDL is not a relationship between an AB and a DL. There is no corresponding term like DDAB or MDAB.

    It seems that historically, AB and DL developed from the idea that either is a fetish that is practiced by one person, where a second person is an (often much desired) option, but not the main focus. I know that this is not necessarily true, but it's an idea that is still somewhat inherent in the term. With DDLG/MDLB/CGL on the other hand, the interaction between the dominant and the submissive part is the very defining element of the kink.

    Having said all that, what is separating ABDL from DDLG/MDLB/CGL is not so much what they do, but rather the fact that they have different labels for themselves that create the impression that they are in fact doing different things. It seems that our times are obsessed with finding precise labels for everything, and as a result, people are retreating to their tiny niches rather than perceiving each other as a community. At one point, we may have labels for ourselves that describe us in the most precise way that is possible. At that time, we will all be communities consisting of just one person.
    I guess you are right about the relationship dynamic in a way however a lot of single little's looking for a dominant also see use that label rather than ABDL.. Also I never associate either with the word "kink", I find that "kink" is a word like "age play".. its makes it sound like just "play" and pretend rather than who someone is and part of their personality.. Also kink by definition is a sex term, not all littles in using either label are sexual, so by definition is cannot be a kink..

  4. #4

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    I think if some littles are creating a divide, or disassociating themselves from dd/lg, one reason could be that they don't consider their littleness or their relationships to be BDSM-related.

    Regardless of whether there is sexual activity involved or not, there are some littles who don't want to associate with fetish, kink, or BDSM contexts.

    So really, I think it may be a contextual issue. Not all littles may consent or feel comfortable involving themselves in a BDSM context. The best way to avoid that may be to find like-minded littles and avoid contexts/situations they don't desire.

  5. #5

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    I have come across a lot of "littles" that do not identify as babies and thus do not use the term ABDL, I believe the term ABDL is a broad term to include anyone that likes to wear diapers or play or relate to a younger age.

    I came across the term ABDL way before the term LG and find the LG to be relatively new to me. Another thing with the AB thing is that not a lot of "littles" identify as being a baby in fact you cannot quantify a "littles" demeanor to a definite age. Littles are far more complicated than that and will incorporate many aspects from varying age groups, for example you may have a little who identifies as around 5-6 lets say but they may also enjoy wearing diapers, baby clothes and using bottles but may also like playing with toys designed for an older child, there is no set age it is a broad spectrum for that littles individual special place.

    This is why to me the term ABDL does not mean explicitly a little that like being an infant but to all littles of the younger age.

    The term DDLG to me is the dynamic between a dominant daddy "top" and a submissive little "bottom", this is also a term that I see most often on BDSM forums and communities and not so much in exclusively ABDL communities.

    That is my two cents.

  6. #6

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    On top of all of this, I'm still pushing for some kind of recognizing of the "toddler/potty training" fraction of this spectrum. But you can't really expect that when it's an even smaller fraction.

    Still, I've always felt it's different from AB/DL, but maybe that's just my impression of things. To this day, "diapers" just don't do it for me the way "training pants" do.

    Then again, I suppose you could put that name onto anything, and I'd believe it. But that's the whole point.
    Last edited by ForeverYoung; 10-Mar-2016 at 03:32. Reason: grammar

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverYoung View Post
    On top of all of this, I'm still pushing for some kind of recognizing of the "toddler/potty training" fraction of this spectrum. But you can't really expect that when it's an even smaller fraction.

    Still, I've always felt it's different from AB/DL, but maybe that's just my impression of things. To this day, "diapers" just don't do it for me the way "training pants" do.

    Then again, I suppose you could put that name onto anything, and I'd believe it. But that's the whole point.
    I know what you mean, I only wear pull ups really, I'm 2-3 so I am a toddler not a baby.. That's why I identify as a little not an AB, I see an AB being a baby, a little being a toddler/young child and a middle being a pre teen/teen

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBelle View Post
    I know what you mean, I only wear pull ups really, I'm 2-3 so I am a toddler not a baby.. That's why I identify as a little not an AB, I see an AB being a baby, a little being a toddler/young child and a middle being a pre teen/teen

    Is it the same if you stand on your head. Or do middles become little and little become middles.
    What about DL's what happens if they stan on their heads.
    Humm may be not a good idea.
    Hee, hee

    I've got a sticky "Label!""Label." that says Sisi the wonder kid.




  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBelle View Post
    I know what you mean, I only wear pull ups really, I'm 2-3 so I am a toddler not a baby.. That's why I identify as a little not an AB, I see an AB being a baby, a little being a toddler/young child and a middle being a pre teen/teen
    As I've described in many other threads; my fantasy is more akin to a Pull Ups commercial. Being a 2-3 year old who wants to learn to be like the big kids, but doesn't quite have it down yet. I might also be wrong, but that just seems different from what AB usually means. Maybe similar to DL, but for me, it's not simply the love of the fabric (although don't get me wrong, that DEFINITELY goes into it) but more about the thought of what I'm wearing, and how that makes me a big kid. (most of the time, I like to pretend I'm a big girl now lol)

    Anyway, I guess there's no point trying to label everything, but still, as long as we have a community dedicated to understanding this part of ourselves, might as well explore it.

  10. #10

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    I have found labels to be problematic.
    Being disabled, I fit a bunch of different labels with respect to the type of Autism and Cerebral palsy I have.
    Different people fit different labels, and the definitions of the labels change, depending upon preferences and agreed-upon social conventions.

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