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Thread: Was I wroung?

  1. #1

    Thumbs up Was I wroung?

    Ok so I really need some feedback.

    So a couple of months ago I quit my full time job.

    These are the events leading up to me quiting.

    I had beeen trying to get some time off for a while and kept getting turned down for whatever reason but I allways had to cover for the other employees so that they could take their vacations. Wich I did'nt mind more hours = more pay. I needed some time to go volunteer at my favorite charity. So I went in to my bosses office and seen that the other manager from the other store was there also. I asked if I could have the dates that I needed off and with supprise I got them off(I think that it helped that I two fricken months in advance) after about a month she walks up to me and says that I can't halve the time due to scheduling issues. That put me in kind of a bind. I allready told the charity that I could vollunteer for them, and they had already set me up to manage my own area as I had in the past for their once a year events. I went to the manager and told her about my situationabout how I could'nt because it had already been set up. She said that there wasn't anything she could do about it. After about a weeek I talked to another coworker (who owed me a favor) about trading days with me so that I could have the time off. He agreed and we went to go see the manager about the trading days and she vetoed it. When I we asked her why she did'nt provide on. Lets just say I was a little p.o.ed. But that was the end of that. Me and a diffrent coworker I had before had a deal that she would clean the deli and I would clean the toilets and mop the floors (I preferd scrubbing toilets and moping floors and she preferd to do the dishes and clean the warmers.) Well when she got premoted to deli manager and the new guy came in I got put in charge of training him as usual. (I trained 5 people) I trained him on the deli and and the outside as its called. He seemed to be taking to the deli well and I thought that we might have a pact like the coworker before.

    Fast forward to about two weeks before I quit. The manager calls me into the office and tells me that I haven't been doing deli, I said that she was correct. She asked me why I did'nt have an answer, cause I did'nt know why. She said that it was'nt fair to the other employees, I asked if any had complained. Hopeing that I had'nt upset my fellow employees. She said no but as punishment I was to do the deli for two weeks, and then go back and forth between out side and deli. I said ok that seems fair. So after I thought my two weeks was up, I did the outside and was going to do the deli the next day per her request. When I walked in the next day I was asked by the assistant manager(it was sunday and the manager doesn't work on the weekends) why didn't I do the deli last night? I replied because my two weeks was up and the manager wanted me to start rotating between duties. He told me that they were'nt. I said yes they where. He replied no they were'nt. I replied yes they were the manager told me three f**king fridays ago therefore my two weeks where up last friday. He said no they were'nt, and proceded to tell me that I was to complete two more weeks of deli. Seeing how I was going to do deli that night anyway I did deli. the next morning(my day off) I went in to the office thinking that she made a mistake and forgot wich day she told me. I went in and asked what's this about my two weeks not being up? She said that I hadn't completed my two weeks. I asked what do you mean? I went from friday to friday to friday, thats two weeks is'nt it. She said well yes, but you didn't work all forteen days. What do you mean I asked? She said that I was to have completed forteen days of deli(somthing she did NOT specify on our last little meeting). I told her that I didn't realize that she wanted me to work forteen days total, and that I would be more than happy to complete the other for days. She said no that what i did was insabordination, and that I was lucky that I wasn't being fired. Whoah! whoah! whoah! over a simple misunderstanding you would fire me I replied. She retorted that there was no misunderstanding, and that yes she could. (What happend next hurt but before I go on I need to take you back about six months before, when she was still an assistant manager and we were still friends) It was shift change and me her and two other employees had just heard a report about cyber bullying, We talked about how we didn't have that back then. Each one shared their bullying experiences and it was my turn. So I told them about how a kid brought dental floss on the buss and twisted it together and made garat wire out of it. as i started to pass out the buss driver grabed the kid and chucked him over a cupple of seats. He got in trouble and I feel bad about that. My mom said that she woul'nt press charges against the boy since he had some bad mental problems. (well back to the office) We started to talk about how I thought it was a little overkill to threaten to fire me over a little misunderstanding. I said that I felt that management was nit picking me and that I was being unfairly treated. She said and I qoute, "the reason that you feel like you're being picked on is what happend to you in your childhood". What the hell who f**king says that, to their employee no less. I mean hell I thought we were friends. I took the rest of the day and the next to think about my options. I went in the next day but as I steped in I started to get physically sick to my stomack. I turned in my key and uniform grabed my cotsumer service awared and left right then and there. I can't stop thinking about what happend. I was just so passionate about that job, hell I even wanted to own a franchise.

    Sorry this took so long but I needed to tell the whole story.

    Do you think I did the right thing and quit?

    What would you have done?

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by ABDL4ever View Post
    Do you think I did the right thing and quit?

    What would you have done?
    Can't say right or wrong having heard only one side of the story (yours). I do sympathize with your situation, though.

    They did and said some questionable things. Hopefully you can find another, better, gig soon.

  3. #3

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    Sounds like an awful place to work. Your boss needs a lot more training to be able to manage people effectively.

    But there is no right and wrong. It's up to you to decide whether it was the right thing to do or not. It depends on so many things. If you're able to cope financially and/or can find another job, then maybe you'll work for a company where you feel a bit more valued, and you'll look back and say, "Thank god I quit!" :-D

    I think sometimes at work you need to analyse every decision you make and think, "Right. If my boss asks me why I'm doing this, what am I going to say?" If you're not sure, run it through with your boss first. Or at least get the support of your colleagues in advance. So if she asks, you've got a good reason and can explain how everyone else knew and was happy about it.

    If your boss says something like, "It's not fair on everyone else.", you could suggest a quick meeting with your colleagues to agree on a system that would be fair. Get in quick and show that you're taking her (possibly ridiculous) concerns seriously, and want to work with her (not against her) to find a solution.

    If she's a bad manager, she probably feels like your decision to not work on the deli as much as everyone else is eroding her power. In her eyes, she has the power and should be telling people what to do; her staff shouldn't decide for themselves. And so, fearing she'll lose power if she doesn't beat you back into line, she lashes out.

    But, as I say, (if you ever meet someone like this again), call their bluff. They want you to be angry or belittled; they want to fight you. So... listen seriously and offer to work with them to find a solution. What are they gonna do then...?

  4. #4

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    Sounds like work place bullying. Since there is a record of it there, you were next in line. I think you were right to quit. Some people would have put up with their bullshit because she have no other choice. It's either put up with it or be in the streets. I might have dealt with some work place bullying too at one of my jobs but I was unaware and I am strong and don't give up. But I did quit eventually but not because of workplace bullying, but because I got another job but it was only job training I was doing and it would have been at night, not in the day time so I quit so I wouldn't have to go to work in the daytime and be very tired.

  5. #5

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    It's a franchise yes? Report the manager to the corporate office as workplace bullying, discrimination, and unprofessional behavior. Even franchises have to obey corporate even if private owned, they still hold the name.

    What you did was not wrong, between us though I will say if the same happened to me I would have handled much differently being I record all private meetings with bosses regarding performance on either my cell or tablet for reference, if you say something they can dismiss it, but if you play back a time stamped recording they can't argue it. I have read every handbook I have ever gotten and never have I found an instance where voice recording an employee/manager performance meeting was banned and most GM's encourage it because it covers them as much as it does you as well as it now stands as a physical evidence that you were coached.

  6. #6

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    Thank you for all your support and feedback.

    Interesting update: I ran in to the asistant manager and started to talk with him when I asked him how was things back at work. He replied I would'nt know I quit about a week ago. Oh really I asked? Yup and three others have quit as well he replied. When I asked him why they all quit. He said that they could'nt take it anymore. He also told me that she still had 'nt been able to fill my position( nights and weekends).

    Between him and you guys I feel fantastic about my choice. Hell mabye when she gets fired I'll go back.

    Thanks again for all the support and feedback.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by ABDL4ever View Post
    Thank you for all your support and feedback.

    Interesting update: I ran in to the asistant manager and started to talk with him when I asked him how was things back at work. He replied I would'nt know I quit about a week ago. Oh really I asked? Yup and three others have quit as well he replied. When I asked him why they all quit. He said that they could'nt take it anymore. He also told me that she still had 'nt been able to fill my position( nights and weekends).

    Between him and you guys I feel fantastic about my choice. Hell mabye when she gets fired I'll go back.

    Thanks again for all the support and feedback.
    Obviously you are not paranoid nor playing the victim, it's really is the manager with the problem because other people were having troubles there too.

  8. #8

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    Your boss totally sounds like an asshole and was being totally unfair to you. Quitting is never a decision of being right or wrong, though there are certainly situations where it's smart to quit and dumb in other situations. I know I've been in a similar situation where I quit my job after spending years there, slowly growing to hate it, and eventually after being lectured about the new company rules by jackass higher ups, I pretty much snapped, called them out on their idiocy in a smartass way, and quit right on the spot. I know many people gave me crap for that (though apparently my co-workers quoted me calling them out and put it up on the Break Room Board. ) and said I was wrong. Though my life TREMENDOUSLY improved after quitting that job and everything is working out for me. And from what you've posted, it sounds like everything is working out great for you and that quitting was the right decision for you.

  9. #9

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    I think i was once bullied at work by a superior too. He was a nice person and the sort of charismatic and leader type but i think he took pleasure in being confrontational and picking fights as I wasn't the only one to be bullied by him.

    I think you did the right thing, in my previous job my contribuition was rarely appreciated, to be honest it was a low requirement or entry job and i wasn't that great or thrilled about doing it either (call center and sales followed up by back office which i did like but became really repetative and exhausting), but in my new job it's completely different, for starters my graduate degree was important to get the job as well as my previous experience in back office, people like me and praise me and appreciate my contribuition, they're all really nice.

    For a long time i was afraid of loosing my job, but similar to relationships when you're not happy in your job or something or someone starts bothering you, the best thing to do is search for something else.

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