Ok, so the key struggle of my inner life as a TBDL was whether or not it was OK to want to wear diapers. I would buy a full pack of goodnites or whatever and use only one or two and just feel so overwhelmed by guilt that I would throw the entire pack away (mostly because I never told anyone about my fetish, so it had been eating away at me forever and stuff). I've probably wasted over $100 (which is a lot for a little college boy) over the years in guilty discarding of unused diapers.
Anyway, over the past year or so, I went through therapy, read my Bible, had some good introspection, figured out where the line was between me and my fetish, and really felt ok with being DL. And all was well for a bit.
But then I decided diapers were a bad thing again, and I vowed 2016 would be diaper free for my wallet and my spirit - because I will be all right, diapers aren't a necessity in my life. And it worked for a bit (I'm basically over my bedwetting, praise the lord), but then I started two addictions to replace diapers - looking at diaper pics/videos, and masturbating (oftentimes paired), but I kept telling myself "could be worse, I could still be addicted to diapers"
And then I realized how silly I was - the diaper pics kinda cemented that diapers were still part of my life even if they were not on my butt. So I decided these things might be worse for me than actually wearing the diapers.
All this to say, I'm wearing a GoodNite right now and I'm hoping and praying that it's better for me to wear the diapers myself than to masturbate over pictures of other people wearing them.