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Saying "Hello"

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FriendlyFerret

Contributor
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13
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Babyfur
  4. Diaperfur
  5. Sissy
  6. Little
Hello there,
Over the last few short weeks, I've found myself striving to reach out to other ABDLs to try and figure out my own tangled mess of a self.

There was a time in my late teens and early 20s that I had several friends that I could have little time or diapered hang-out time with and it was really great. Over the years, those friends have drifted away a bit and my life has gradually filled with all types of responsibilities. As my responsibilities have grown, my "little" (and thereby my DL interests as well) has really taken a far back seat to the busy life in front of me. I've recently had those old ABDL feelings, especially the "little" me, edging to come out. I suppose it's related to the piling of responsibilities and job stresses that I've been dealing with lately. But when I try to enduldge in those desires, it feels much different than it did when I was active in the community years and years ago.

This time around, I find myself dealing with a lot of self-hate and guilt. I find it difficult to discuss or even say the word 'diaper'. I've been working with a therapist for over a year now. Infantalism has come up from time to time in my therapy sessions, but when I try to talk about it in any form of depth, I clam up and those defensive walls derail the conversation lightning-fast. I find that I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with my desires and my coping technique (diapers). So, I thought I would try to reintroduce myself to the ABDL community. I also starting looking around for other support groups and I found this site. Reading some of the posts has already started to help some, so I thank the contributors for their work and for sharing parts of themselves to help themselves and others.

I guess I'm rambling a bit by now, but I have a whole mess of emotional knots to work out and things get rather jumbled up for me, at least emotionally. Bottom line, I'm optimistic about having others to share and talk to about figuring myself out.

Thanks for your time,
Ferret
 
Hello Ferret and welcome to the group.

This is a very good introduction about what brings you here.

I can relate to your story.

So that we can get to know you better would you please take a moment and tell us a little bit more about yourself such as you hobbies and interests.

There is a lot of good threads and articles to help gain understanding of binge and purge cycle.

Again welcome to the group.

Egor.
 
Hello and welcome, Ferret. That was a nice introduction and description of the struggle you are going thru. So many of us here can relate. What kind of Little stuff do you like? Besides diapers. Have you kept in contact with any of your previous contacts?

Anyway, it's nice to meet you. We will try to support you the best we can.
 
A little more about myself..

Well, I'm 36 and I enjoy hockey and I look forward to finding time sometime to play again; it's been far too long and I can certainly use the exercise. :)

I very much enjoy music of all types and I find a very strong connection with a range of reasons. My radio can play anything from Classic Rock to Classical to Oldies to current music trends. It brings me up, holds me when I'm down, lets out that excess energy, or even helps me vent when I need to.

Movies, camping, oh.. and LEGO.. I'm a huge LEGO geek! (see my avatar picture: MOC (My Own Creation) of a box of crayons)

As far as my little: that's really complicated, even for me. I usually find myself as a 3-5yr old. About half the time I find comfort roleplaying as a little girl or sissy, but I'm nearly always still identifying as a male gender delving into feminine roles and such. (gender role identity/stress/conflict continue to be sources of conflict along with accepting of the enjoyment of diapers) I also have a Babyfur identity known as Lil' Kitt who is a 3yr old Ferret (hence my user name). And while I find it easier to accept my little as a source of comfort and thereby a form of therapy, I find it harder to accept my DL side and the sexual gratification that can come from it. I struggle a lot with guilt and shame related to my sexual interests - that shame and guilt often spills over into my AB side and I start shutting down emotionally pretty quick.

I have kept in contact with one friend - He's my best friend and even my best man at my wedding. He's been great and super helpful. Only problem is that we live a few hours apart, so we don't get to see each other much. I have found a local monthly littles meeting in my local area and we're hoping to be able to attend together in March.

On the family side, I'm married and a father of two daughters. My wife is aware of my ABDL interests, and has never been judgmental about it. She's not particularly into it, but she hasn't tried to prevent me from practicing either. However, I've never had the confidence in myself to really allow it inside our relationship for fear that it wouldn't be fully accepted (especially the DL side). I understand this isn't fair to her, as she is trying to be supportive and accepting of me. I'm not even sure my actions have been calculated; just that maybe I felt I was protecting our relationship. Or maybe protecting my wife from being overwhelmed by her "weirdo husband".

So that's a whole lot of spotlight for me.. I'm not sure what else to add right now. But thank you for the replies and support so far.
 
Hi Ferret!

Well I'm glad to meet you and I sometimes struggle with that guilt and shame as well. But then I listen to Lady Gaga's born this way and it clears me right up. I'm pretty new as well and the people here have been sooo nice, so don't worry about being accepted here. Being on here has allowed me to accept that side of myself a little bit more.

So we're here for ya! And I have to ask, when you get into your little side, do you like watching cartoons or doing other stuff like that? :)
 
Thanks again for the support. Every bit helps.

Diving back in to my little-self a bit... Cartoons are a pretty big trigger for me. Disney is a no-brainer there. Coloring and (as mentioned before) LEGO are also big go-to activities. I really enjoy onesies and overalls/shortalls. I have a few that I modified and added leg snaps to make them a little more fun. And sleepers.. I love footie sleepers! My wife even steals mine when the house gets cold enough :)
 
Welcome Friendly Ferret, I hope you find peace in yourself soon. It seems that you already have a thoroughly good understanding of yourself, just need to give yourself a big hug and tell yourself you're ok the way you are....all of it, and not that weirdo you referred to. Loving yourself isn't going to damage your relationships, it'll make you a stronger and happier person, and that'll benefit your relationships.
 
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