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Thread: Feeling really angry and let down.

  1. #1

    Default Feeling really angry and let down.

    Don't really know if this is the right thread to be posting this but I just really needed a safe space to be able to vent.

    I've been trying to get back into dating over the last 3 months or so, I'm fed up of being lonely and now all my oldest friends have paired up as well which makes things harder. I have a lot of issues with depression and anxiety to deal with as well and just want things to go well in my life for a change. What makes it worse if I had someone who I loved and was engaged to but I lost her what would be 5 years ago on the 7th of Feb.

    Because I was tired of hiding my abdl side for years and I never managed to open up about it to my fiancée. I have opened up accounts on various abdl sites looking for a partner who would share my interests. I was specifically looking for a partner who would enjoy playing the mommy role.

    I know it's hard to find people but I was getting really hopeful with someone I met on abdl match. She wanted to play the mommy role and we had sent quite a few messages back and forth, in her last one she was asking me questions about what we would do together when I was little.

    Then just now I go on and her account has been cancelled, I don't know why her profiles gone but it's just really got me angry and upset! I was about to ask if we could contact eachother off of the site via phone or email. I'd previously asked but she told me she needed to keep it on there for a bit longer for her own comfort level. But now she's disappeared without a trace. I'm just feeling angry because my hopes got built up thinking she might potentially become my mommy.

    It's just so hard to find people and it drives me mad, I know I could find someone somewhere else but and potentially introduce them to it all but I'm scared of reactions.

    I can't even find people near me on fetlife, the only person I found through there was posting on a personals thread but it turned out she was after money or playing mommy.

    Don't know what I wanted to achieve with this thread apart from a space to vent my frustrations. I just wish it wasn't so hard to find people especially where I am in England. I know I could go to events or things but partially due to my anxiety issues I'm very nervous about that and don't feel able to.

    Just feeling really angry, sad and lonely right now.

  2. #2

    Default

    Coincidentally--though you may have already noticed--there's a conversation about AB/DL dating sites going on here.

    You may be at the crossroads of "Look for a female AB/DL" and "Look for a female who shares my (other) passions for _____, _____, and _____." My wife is a non-AB/DL who doesn't share my enthusiasm for diapers, so I can't claim to know what AB/DL in a relationship is like. But I've often wondered whether it was a bit like sex in that it might feel like some all-important goal at the beginning (especially when one is a "virgin", so to speak), and then assume a more balanced role as time goes on. I mean, the vanillas would probably tell you that relationships whose beginnings are wholly sex-based are not going to last. Similarly, I wonder if relationships whose beginnings are rooted in the euphoria of simply having an AB/DL playmate are really the stuff of lasting happiness. At the very least, one who devotes himself to finding a female AB/DL for a mate is limiting his choices with woeful severity. Even without such constraints, finding a mate with long-term potential is tough.

    That's probably hard medicine to swallow, though.

    On the other hand, if your aim is, first and foremost, to simply have fun and not worry about the future, then I can see no harm in separating your AB/DL and non-AB/DL personas and taking both roads at once. With reasonable expectations, most outcomes can be happy outcomes.

  3. #3
    MarchinBunny

    Default

    Yep, I entirely agree with Cottontail on this. Finding a partner is pretty difficult all in itself, and it increasingly becomes even more so when you are looking for very specific traits, and more so when those traits themselves are rare.

    My personal recommendation to anyone typically is to not be overly concerned on whether or not the person is into being an AB/DL. It should be one of the least important aspects while looking for a partner, at least from my perspective.

  4. #4

    Default

    The most important thing is to find someone you love and who loves you back. Work out the ABDL stuff later. I know it seems important now but it's not the most important thing

  5. #5

    Default

    Yes, this. This is what many if not most of us did. We dated a number of people. Hopefully you find the one who accepts all of you, your strengths and flaws. That's what all couples should do.

  6. #6

    Default

    Thanks for the feedback guys, think I was just feeling a bit peeved last night and wanted to vent some frustrations. I have been talking to people on regular dating sites as well and hadn't made a conscious decision in my head that I was purely looking for someone with a shared interest in diapers or age play. Think I'm just a bit paranoid about other peoples reactions or indiscretion with regular dating. Not to mention for the first time the conversation with the potential mommy seemed to be going really well and not just on the abdl topic. We seemed to be clicking on a number of levels only for her to just disappear and that just got me really frustrated.

  7. #7

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    My experience was finding some ABDL playmates, and becoming more accepting of my own ABDL nature. I had fun with them, and learned that it's just another part of myself. From there, I did intense emotional work on loving myself - and being OK being single, and honestly not thinking about finding "the one (to fix me)"

    From there - I was able to see the amazing man that I share my life with. If I hadn't done the intense personal work, I may have let the love of my life slip through my fingers.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babybobby View Post
    My experience was finding some ABDL playmates, and becoming more accepting of my own ABDL nature. I had fun with them, and learned that it's just another part of myself. From there, I did intense emotional work on loving myself - and being OK being single, and honestly not thinking about finding "the one (to fix me)"

    From there - I was able to see the amazing man that I share my life with. If I hadn't done the intense personal work, I may have let the love of my life slip through my fingers.
    I know what you mean about being OK with being single, until recently I was it was just instances of all my friends coupling up leaving me as the only single and the approaching 5 yr anniversary of my fiancées death knocked me back a bit. A day later and to be honest I'm already getting over this instance Lol. I think I just got excited at the idea of a potential relationship where the abdl aspect was out in the open from the very beginning with no awkward conversations. Today I've had some work opportunities come up to distract me and someone else I was talking to on a regular dating site appears to want to go out so feeling better. Like I said I think I just needed to rant and let off a bit of steam, part of the reason I love this site so much is I know it's always a friendly and understanding place to do so

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